Sara9009

My husband comes home on Monday. We haven't been able to speak for over 3 weeks and we were both a little concerned about my sobriety since I was only a little over a month in.

I can't wait to tell him I stayed sober and actually did very well while he was gone even with the very stressful things that have happened over the last few weeks.

You guys have been the best and I really appreciate all of the support. I always feel like I have a port in the storm.

I am very sad to tell him that our cat who thought he was a dog died. On Monday night around 2am I was letting the dogs out and he scratched my leg and made a leep for the door and I couldn't catch him. I spent 2 hours outside with a flashlight looking for him with no luck. He has gotten out a few times (we live in the country) but he has always stayed near the back porch. I waited up till 5am and spent about 30 more minutes looking and... nothing. I left tuna fish out and it was still there when I got up. I then put on my hiking boots and checked the entire property which was no easy task. I kept leaving the tuna out and it was still there. He has a collar and microchip but no one called. Animals are always roaming around out here so I am sure no one would think it was a big deal.

On Thursday Night, I let my dogs out (I always stay out with them when they go out) and one ran for a field they don't go in and I followed her and found Kerouac's remains. He was killed by something and there was not a lot left. The only way I could tell it was him was because of the orange fur tufts in the area. =(

I am really devastated and my smallest dog who was very close with the cat has been wandering around the house whining and looking for her friend. I feel really guilty even though I did everything I could.

Fubarcdn

My heart goes out to you Sara.
Pets become part of the family and losing one is a terrible feeling.
It is not your fault. These things happen.
Take care. :ghug

bugsworth

Great job on staying strong and keeping your commitment to sobriety. Losing a pet is hard...it's not your fault it's a part of life....continue to handle it with grace.

SummerSkye

Oh that is so so sad,I have often thought about your post about your cat being like a dog!I hope you are all going to be ok. It is very very hard to keep cats indoors so please please don't blame yourself. Our furbabies bring so much love and heartache to out lives. One of my cats lives outside for 90% of the time and only comes back to visit, I worry about her but she wants to be out so what can I do. I'm sending you hugs and positive thoughts:ghug

doorknob

Sorry to hear about your kitty, Sara.

Anna

Sara, I am sorry to hear of the loss of your cat.

Pets are the greatest!

mle-sober

I'm sorry about your loss. That sounds awful. I hope you don't let the guilt in too far. It was not your fault in any way and guilt doesn't help you or your lost pet.

Music man

Oh my God, tears came out when I read this. That is sad, what a tough thing to go through in early sobriety.
But guess what you stayed sober.
things like this are something that could be the breaking point. but you held strong, and while this being a very sad time and will be hard to get over you have reprogrammed your brain to not think it needs a drink when something bad happens. OUTSTANDING.
my condolences on your kitty.

Sara9009

Thanks everyone. I am not sure it has sunk in yet. I haven't put away his toys, treats, or food bowl. I actually almost filled it yesterday. He used to hate when it got past the medium way point and would throw a kitty fit. I would have thought the cat litter box would have been easy to do since that is the one thing I hate about cats but I went over to do it and couldn't. I know it is ridiculous but I still have some false hope he will just show up. I know that isn't going to happen though.

I hate to think of him scared and I really, really hope it was quick and he didn't see it coming.

I am very grateful I am still sober.

Sara9009

Isn't it strange how some cats just HATE being inside. I have had 4 (Kerouac and a litter of three) cats in my lifetime and this has been the only cat that was bound and determined to get outside. I appreciate the hugs and positive thoughts.

allport

Oh sara I really feel for you, i still miss my childhood cat Max, he died from FIV it wasnt pretty.

This is the reason I havent got another, i couldnt bear to say to say goodbye!

least

Losing a beloved pet is a hard thing. I'm glad you stayed sober tho!