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Alcohol and Work/out of town conference

Old 02-21-2009, 12:30 PM
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Exclamation Alcohol and Work/out of town conference

Hello to everyone who posts on here. I would like to start by thanking everyone because today I am 14 days without a drink and I attribute it to reading posts that I googled and directed my here.

I have listened extensively to the "Joe and Charlie" big book studies and I am pretty aware of the dangers of alcohol and how it works with me. I binge drink on days off. Anyways, I am new to the place of employment and we have a conference next week with an alcohol break built in to the conference!!!

I am trying to abstain from drinking to get some clarity and since lent is coming up, I wanted to abstain throughout lent as well, which when all said and done is about 60 days.

I have note fully committed to the idea of forever sober but I may soon.
I am trying to fight the first drink because I have noticed my cravings decrease over this 2 week period and by golly I feel so inspired to get so many things done!

I was taught in my college that if we were ever in a situation where we would be around alcohol, to just order a coke on the rocks etc.

This is what I want to do but at the same time, I don't want to be seen as a "problem drinker" by virtue of avoiding the stuff! It is sort of sick and it makes me mad to think that by not ordering a beer, I could be seen as "a problem," and this is not something I wish to project especially considering my young age and relative newness to the bosses who will be present.

I could always just blame it on being catholic and lent, but part of me wants to just order the single beer, this is pretty serious and I am sure that I would not get crazy and may actually just have the 1 beer since I don't even like beer.

Has anyone else had work situations similar to this early in the stages of recovery and if so, how did you get through them, any advice?

I would probably feel better not having the beer and getting through to day 60, who knows, by then, I may not want to drink at all.

Thanks for everyone who posts on here, you guys do help!
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Old 02-21-2009, 12:39 PM
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When I quit drinking, I noticed that not everyone around me drank, and I had never questioned them on it. Seriously, people are too self consumed to really care about what's in your hand drink-wise. Not sure what you're looking for, help to not drink during a 2 week work function? (That would seem reason enough to me..), or just for lent? Guess it depends on the 'why'. Because you're posting here, and you talk about big book studies I'm going to assume you feel you have a problem with alcohol.

I guess for your work functions, just order whatever you enjoy taste-wise, I found I like Sprite, I quit drinking diet Pepsi as it was my 'drink' mixer. Iced tea, water.. whatever.

Maybe tell us a bit more what you're looking for, I feel like I'm not hitting on what you were asking.. lol.. sorry bout that.

PS.. just to get thru the 'drink break' at the conference, you could always just say you're on a medication that it interferes with, or that you're trying to be healthier with the 'new year', or that you're allergic, on a diet, watching your sugar.. whatever. I also did find that when I started simply saying "I don't drink", people didn't care much about that either, I got a lot of "oh, ok", or "cool" and that was fine to deal with!
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Old 02-21-2009, 12:41 PM
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Welcome to SR dentist.
This is a tough situation to be put in so early in your sobriety. I would suggest a little white lie may help you get through without lookimg unsociable.
I would say that I was on antibiotics and the doctor said no drinks and you take your health seriously. It is flu/cold season so a throat infection is quite believeable.
I used this several times when I was an on the road salesman when i had to drive customers and entertain them.
Another thing I did was arrange in advance with the waiter to bring me coke only when I ordered rum and coke so the customer would think I was drinking with him. That one always worked but doesn't sound like an option in your case.
Good luck.
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Old 02-21-2009, 12:53 PM
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Hello, dentist. Welcome to SR!


Originally Posted by AAdentistAA View Post
I don't want to be seen as a "problem drinker" by virtue of avoiding the stuff!
People will not assume that. Most will leave you alone if you don't drink...your reasons are your own--you do not need to explain or justify your actions to anyone. It's not their business if you don't drink for health reasons, religious reasons, or 'fill in the blank'. Anyone offers you something, you can always simply say "No, thank you." Any further explaination isn't necessary.

When I was drinking, I encouraged people who weren't drinking to drink...I was such an @ss...the reason I did that was because I was the one with a problem. That being said, chances are pretty good that you'll be left alone.

Welcome again.
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Old 02-21-2009, 12:59 PM
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Congratulations on 14 days!!!

I really and truly think the best thing to do is when the first round of drinks is ordered, simply just order a coke, sprite, ice tea, coffee, whatever. Then and only then is someone says, "Hey Dentist, why aren't you having a beer?" just casually say, "I just don't drink, not my thing, really." That's all you need to say. If these are people you were more than likely not going to be seeing again, then the antibiotic idea would more than likely work. But since you are going to hopefully work with these people for a long time, you can't use that excuse time and time again. That would make people talk then and wonder what's going in that you're on antibiotics all the time.

I think the more you try to "explain" why you don't want a drink, the more it's going to look like you are trying to hide something. On the other hand, wouldn't it be something if one or more of your associates would come out and say that they are a recovering alcoholic? With the way things are today, it's a very real possibility!

I'd like to add that the idea of not drinking for the rest of your life is something that many people, especially when they first stop drinking, find completely overwhelming. In AA, one of the biggest slogans is One Day at A Time.

I hope you'll stick around, we need a dentist in the family!

God Bless,
Judy
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Old 02-21-2009, 01:02 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

I think many people face a similar situation when they feel pressured into drinking. Personally, I get a bit of an attitude about that. I don't want to ever apologize for not drinking and I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation as to why I'm drinking coke and not alcohol. It's a personal choice and I try to keep it personal. I also found that honesty was a huge issue for me in recovery. I tried saying 'I'm on antibiotics' once, and I felt awful afterwards. And, isn't it the case, that one lie leads to another.

I wish you well and I'm so glad you're posting!
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Old 02-21-2009, 01:06 PM
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Actually, I feel perfectly content and proud just saying "I used to drink too much, now I don't" (usually stops em dead in their tracks, no one has dared question me, or tried to get me to have 'just one'), or "I drank my fill already, I don't anymore". Maybe one of these days I'll be that comfort for someone wondering what THEY'LL say, when I just blurt the truth.
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Old 02-21-2009, 01:06 PM
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Welcome to SR!
I agree with Flutter 100% that people really don't care if you are drinking or not. I have found that there are many folks that don't drink, and the ones that are drinking do not care if I am or not. It is so much easier to say no than you might think. Good advice from others on small fibs to tell as well.
I would also ask yourself how good you have been in the past with just having 1 beer. You mention that you think you could just have the one beer because of the situation. It sounds like you have tried this before and it didn't work. I imagine there is more risk of people realizing you have a "problem" if you choose to pick up that first drink (which usually leads us to the second, third, etc) than if you simply say, no, thanks.
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Old 02-21-2009, 01:11 PM
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I was one of those sad obnoxious people trying to get everyone to have a drink and being quite inquisitive about those that wouldnt.

Thats because Im an alcoholic and Im obsessed with mine and everyone elses consumption.

If someone makes a big deal of you not drinking they probably have an agenda of their own, don't let their issues stop you from doing what you know is right.

Last edited by allport; 02-21-2009 at 01:13 PM. Reason: spelling
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Old 02-21-2009, 01:16 PM
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Although I'm new to sobriety myself, on day 17 with no drinking, I've been offered a drink in the past few days and I've just simply responded with "No, thank you. I don't feel like it." And that's been suitable enough, no one's even really given it a second thought. It's just been kinda like "ok whatever you say" and it's no biggie. Just try what you feel most comfortable with.
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Old 02-21-2009, 03:02 PM
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I cannot add to the good advice on this thread, but I wanted to say welcome.
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Old 02-21-2009, 04:59 PM
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welcome to SR
I used to say,not today,I have something to do later.That worked fine.Now I just say,thanks but I don`t drink.
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Old 02-21-2009, 09:38 PM
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Congratulations on your sober time

Welcome to our recovery community

Some newly sober people say...
"No thanks...I'm allergic"
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Old 02-22-2009, 09:20 AM
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Thanks for the input!

I think I am just going to order a club soda with a lime. I enjoy that. I agree that people probably will not care what I am drinking.

I guess that was so hard for me to believe because I was always one of those obnoxious "why aren't you drinking!" types, and I feel like a jack@ss in retrospect.

I was heavilly leaning towards ordering 1 beer, but, I am kind of proud of my 15 days so far and 1 beer would not be worth my 15 days of clarity and pride. 1 day at a time.

These forums are good.
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