penny74

After 133 days sober, l thought l it would be ok to have a 6 pack.
What could go wrong ?
l am alone for the weekend and thought l deserved a bit of relaxation.
Lost my job,allmost my family, so who has a better reason ?
l found my self drinking vodka orange juice at 7 am this morning...
When will l ever learn ?

yeahgr8

Oh no Penny!

You have done really well for the 133 days though and it is not wasted, it just goes to show that you can do it again easy!!!

The reason that you fell down is the same as all the times i tried and that is part of you even if you don't even admit it to yourself still believes that you can control it! If you knew for sure without any doubt that you would be drinking v&o at 7am and would feel like **** today because you are back at day 1 would you have bought that six pack?

Have you been working a program or getting some support, you need to do something a little different or plan too IMO and that will take the edge off all the guilty and remource feelings and get you off to a brand new fresh start, this time to work on getting and maintaining the sobriety you so much want!

keep going and well done again on the 133 days:-)

prettypoison

Good morning Penny. I struggled with the impulse to drink yesterday and found myself using the same logic that you did...I had a bad day, I'm angry with members of my family and I've been working very hard, I wanted to relax too. Instead, I ended up eating M&Ms and taking a long nap. In the past I didn't always make that choice. Hopefully you can view your relapse as a way to re-affirm that abstinence is the only way. I'm sorry you find yourself having to start over. I hope you can find another job soon as well.

So Penny, Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and keep coming back!! :ghug

ViciousCycle

Sorry to hear that......it's only one night, look at how many good days vs. that.........you can rebound. Take care of you today!!

least

I relapsed after six months sober and am still mad at myself over it. But it's too late to live inthe past, I can only live for today, stay sober for today, and so can you!:ghug3

bovinePieBear

I guess the positive from relapses is that they help us to realise that we are alcoholics for life, drinking or not. It's such a danger for all of us to let our guard down just that one moment - but we can learn to be better prepared in the future. Don't beat yourself up, you'll gain nothing from that. As others are saying, today's another day - don't drink today, and hopefully that will pave your steps to a sober future.

Fubarcdn

First and foremost congratulations going 133 days. A lot of us haven't made it anywhere near that so far.
Second, I hope you don't feel so good today physically. Not because I am a sadistic SOB, which I am by the way, but because that will be a reminder that it isn't worth.
Now get back up and start again. The time hasn't been lost and you know that you can choose to have that first drink or not. The second or third or fourth decides for itself though.

Gypsy Feet

The little alcoholic devil on my shoulder was LOUD last night. He told me I deserved a beer. That others had the problem, not me. That it just wasn't fair.

I have heard all of his tricks too many times not to recognize them as tricks. I laughed at him. I was not light of heart, but feeling a bit of self pity, but still I laughed at him, until he went away. Don't let him trick you again.

penny74

The 133 days was not a stroll in the park. It was very, very bad.
Last night l thought "3 beers.. who will know ..?
Now .. l am looking at the clock to see what time the store closes,...
l know what l should do.. but it is so difficult.

Anna

Oh Penny, I'm sorry.

It's amazing how that addict voice can have us believing it and, then instantly we are the slaves again. I remember watching the clock to see what time the store closed too and I hated that feeling.

You can do this again!

Fubarcdn

Don't but any more and drink it Penny. Remember the bad things that came from drinking and forget about the instant gratification that the buzz gives you.

THE GOING UP AIN'T WORTH THE COMING DOWN.

penny74

l can't do it today.

bugsworth

yes you can...you said you already know what you should do, so do it.

flutter

This might be a good reason NOT to pick up again. I hope you get back on track.

mamabin

Penny, please don't do it.
Please come back and let us know that you're ok.
131 days are not wasted, and it seems that it was that 1st beer that got you in trouble this time.
How many other bad days have you made it through without alcohol? You can do this.

penny74

l can't stop now.
You all know how it is after the first sip.
l,m sorry for my wife and children.

Theresa

Thanks for sharing, Penny. You make it so terribly clear what power remains in that one drink, that one beer. I wanted to drink last night too--and I know if I did that I would have kept on beyond a drink or two. I'm only on day eight this time--hop back on this sober train with me and the others.

penny74

l really need help.

bugsworth

That's why we are here...pour out the alcohol. You can do it.

Fubarcdn

There are a lot of friends here pulling for you Penny.
don't let yourself get sucked into another downword spiral. Go back and read your early posts and remember the confidence you were gaining in yourself in your first days of being sober and how good that felt.
Just say no to the booze. You have the power to say No.