Opinion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3
Opinion
So, I believe I have a drinking problem, I just don't know how serious it is. I don't drink every day, and I don't drink during the day. I don't drink and drive. The problem is, when I do drink, I drink heavily. I end up super hung over, and have had to miss work a few times because of it. That, I know, is not good. I have days where I promise myself I won't drink, but then I do anyway. Not a happy feeling. I know my life would be better in many ways to at least lessen the drinking...better on my wallet, my waistline, etc. My question is, am I kidding myself to think I can just control it, or do you think I have to quit all together? I haven't drank since Tuesday, and because I was so hung over Wednesday, I am at least trying not to drink this weekend.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome to SR misunsure.
Some people can successfully moderate their drinking whereas others cannot. It is good that you realize that you have a problem.
I see no harm in trying to go the moderation route and see if it is working for you.
If it doesn't work for you then you know what the next step has to be.
This forum is a great place to get support and encouragement if you do discover that moderating is not going to work for you.
Good luck.
Some people can successfully moderate their drinking whereas others cannot. It is good that you realize that you have a problem.
I see no harm in trying to go the moderation route and see if it is working for you.
If it doesn't work for you then you know what the next step has to be.
This forum is a great place to get support and encouragement if you do discover that moderating is not going to work for you.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 367
Hi there and welcome misunsure!
I think you already know the answer to your own questions.
Just the fact you are here and admitting you might have a problem
is an indication that things are becoming uncontrolable.
Alcoholism is progressive.
In my case, there was no way to become a 'controlled drinker'.
I literally spent years searching for answers on how to 'control' or maintain drinking without quitting.
The solution was so easy.
Simply quit altogether.
But you have to want this.
There is no such beast as an alcoholic who can control his intake.
It will only get worse.
Once again, welcome and many here will help you with your struggle,
but it's all up to you really.
If you want it, (a life without alcohol), you can get it.
Good luck , and stick around!
I think you already know the answer to your own questions.
Just the fact you are here and admitting you might have a problem
is an indication that things are becoming uncontrolable.
Alcoholism is progressive.
In my case, there was no way to become a 'controlled drinker'.
I literally spent years searching for answers on how to 'control' or maintain drinking without quitting.
The solution was so easy.
Simply quit altogether.
But you have to want this.
There is no such beast as an alcoholic who can control his intake.
It will only get worse.
Once again, welcome and many here will help you with your struggle,
but it's all up to you really.
If you want it, (a life without alcohol), you can get it.
Good luck , and stick around!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: WI
Posts: 41
I appreciate your honesty and question. Just a few quick thoughts: The simple and direct answer is this...an alcoholic/addict is the one that is typically asking this question. The non-alcoholic/addict isn't really even concerned about "if" they are. What you are describing is what can classically be called a "binge drinking alcoholic". You don't drink everyday, but when you do you DRINK.
"I just don't know how serious it is" is a fair question. An even more important question we have to ask ourselves is "We don't know how serious it can become." The alcoholic/addict is one that will continue to expand there use and abuse as time goes on. The hope is to prevent that from happening now.
The 12 steps and many of the other tools on this website can be of great help to find ways to deal with life (and the reasons we do drink, when we do) without having to have alcohol be part of the equation. I hope something here may help.
"I just don't know how serious it is" is a fair question. An even more important question we have to ask ourselves is "We don't know how serious it can become." The alcoholic/addict is one that will continue to expand there use and abuse as time goes on. The hope is to prevent that from happening now.
The 12 steps and many of the other tools on this website can be of great help to find ways to deal with life (and the reasons we do drink, when we do) without having to have alcohol be part of the equation. I hope something here may help.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
misunsure,
If in fact you are an alcoholic, and some things you have said seem to indicate that you are, then you must stop. Your brain may be "hard-wired" in such a way that allows alcohol to "complete the circuit" if you will. It gives you something that the natural state of your brain may not be giving you. A feeling of happiness, relaxation and whatever else that makes you feel good. I thoroughly believe that is true of my brain and that's why I call myself an alcoholic. I have no negative feelings attached to being an alcoholic that bring me down. No shame or guilt, it just is. There are other ways to get this feeling that alcohol can bring on. I personally get that feeling through exercise, reading, sleeping well, eating right, etc., etc. I never did those things like I do now. I feel wonderful. And if I feel like s*** then I know it's not the booze and that makes me happy as well.
In my opinion, based on much research, alcohol is a progressive neurological disease that can only be stopped through abstinence. The mind games you'll play with yourself to make it seem ok to drink are really pathetic. If you're having trouble just trying to not drink for one day then dig deeper into the reasons as to why that might be. Educate yourself about the disease. Knowledge of the disease is what really turned me around and that knowledge is keeping me from drinking. I also have to give credit to AA and SR without which I would probably still be drinking. I am on my second month now and I really don't even see a reason for drinking. It just seems so disgusting to me now. I have so much more to live for. My kids, my family, myself, my cat, my work, vacations, etcetera. See, I don't want to give those things up for what once was, and God willing, will never be again.
So ask yourself one question. What harm could be done by not drinking ever again as opposed to drinking and then drinking more and then more and so on. Many people here on SR can testify to that statement. It may only get worse as time goes on. So why take the chance if your even considering that you have a problem? Just quit, that's my advice.
Peace,
Ken
If in fact you are an alcoholic, and some things you have said seem to indicate that you are, then you must stop. Your brain may be "hard-wired" in such a way that allows alcohol to "complete the circuit" if you will. It gives you something that the natural state of your brain may not be giving you. A feeling of happiness, relaxation and whatever else that makes you feel good. I thoroughly believe that is true of my brain and that's why I call myself an alcoholic. I have no negative feelings attached to being an alcoholic that bring me down. No shame or guilt, it just is. There are other ways to get this feeling that alcohol can bring on. I personally get that feeling through exercise, reading, sleeping well, eating right, etc., etc. I never did those things like I do now. I feel wonderful. And if I feel like s*** then I know it's not the booze and that makes me happy as well.
In my opinion, based on much research, alcohol is a progressive neurological disease that can only be stopped through abstinence. The mind games you'll play with yourself to make it seem ok to drink are really pathetic. If you're having trouble just trying to not drink for one day then dig deeper into the reasons as to why that might be. Educate yourself about the disease. Knowledge of the disease is what really turned me around and that knowledge is keeping me from drinking. I also have to give credit to AA and SR without which I would probably still be drinking. I am on my second month now and I really don't even see a reason for drinking. It just seems so disgusting to me now. I have so much more to live for. My kids, my family, myself, my cat, my work, vacations, etcetera. See, I don't want to give those things up for what once was, and God willing, will never be again.
So ask yourself one question. What harm could be done by not drinking ever again as opposed to drinking and then drinking more and then more and so on. Many people here on SR can testify to that statement. It may only get worse as time goes on. So why take the chance if your even considering that you have a problem? Just quit, that's my advice.
Peace,
Ken
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
Welcome! ONly you can say if you really have a problem with alxohol - but from what you said, I'd guess you do have a problem. Normal 'social' drinkers never think about this stuff.
I tried moderating - a miserable failure since I always ended up drunk. I tried complete sobriety and finally made six months, and then relapsed. Now I'm on day seven cause I'm determined to not let this demon rule me anymore. It's hard enough to deal with my life sober, it's impossible if I'm drunk.
I hope you make the choice to quit. You'll find lots of support and info here, from people who know what it's like.
I'm glad you found us!:ghug3
I tried moderating - a miserable failure since I always ended up drunk. I tried complete sobriety and finally made six months, and then relapsed. Now I'm on day seven cause I'm determined to not let this demon rule me anymore. It's hard enough to deal with my life sober, it's impossible if I'm drunk.
I hope you make the choice to quit. You'll find lots of support and info here, from people who know what it's like.
I'm glad you found us!:ghug3
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Try going for 30 days without.. if you don't think of it.. no worries. If you find yourself thinking and thinking about having a drink, when your next drink can be.. well...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by misunsure 
So, I believe I have a drinking problem, I just don't know how serious it is. I don't drink every day, and I don't drink during the day. I don't drink and drive. The problem is, when I do drink, I drink heavily. I end up super hung over, and have had to miss work a few times because of it. That, I know, is not good. I have days where I promise myself I won't drink, but then I do anyway. Not a happy feeling. I know my life would be better in many ways to at least lessen the drinking...better on my wallet, my waistline, etc. My question is, am I kidding myself to think I can just control it, or do you think I have to quit all together? I haven't drank since Tuesday, and because I was so hung over Wednesday, I am at least trying not to drink this weekend.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by misunsure
So, I believe I have a drinking problem, I just don't know how serious it is. I don't drink every day, and I don't drink during the day. I don't drink and drive. The problem is, when I do drink, I drink heavily. I end up super hung over, and have had to miss work a few times because of it. That, I know, is not good. I have days where I promise myself I won't drink, but then I do anyway. Not a happy feeling. I know my life would be better in many ways to at least lessen the drinking...better on my wallet, my waistline, etc. My question is, am I kidding myself to think I can just control it, or do you think I have to quit all together? I haven't drank since Tuesday, and because I was so hung over Wednesday, I am at least trying not to drink this weekend.
WELCOME!!!
uʍop ǝpısdn
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: California
Posts: 422
I have tried the moderation route a thousand times, and a thousand times I found out that I can't drink in moderation! well I found out I can't drink at all.
you could try and fail or just not try at all!
you could try and fail or just not try at all!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
I was drinking every day, was missing work etc but wasn't sure if I was an alcoholic. Your drinking sounds like it's certainly causing you a problem but you don't have to make your mind up about whether you need to quit or not, whether you are an alcoholic or not etc right now. It's ok to just hang out here at SR and read other people's experiences, ask questions etc. If you have any AA meetings in your area, you could go along to one and just listen to what people are saying and see if you relate to any of it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
