pheonix1001

I think I am a high functioning alcoholic, I am not even sure now, I know I have a problem but cant exactly nail it. When I drink I drink a lot, I have had several black outs and I dont remember a lot of the things I have done when I was drunk, I do drink to block out feelings, and I drink when I am upset and most of the time I drink alone. The thing is I dont drink all the time, neither do I crave alcohol all the time, I drink wheever I feel like it, and I can finish a bottle of wine in a sitting, there have been times when I can just drink a drink and be ok with it. So my question is am I even alcoholic? Should I look for an AA group?
I hold a job and pay my bills on time (mostly) I know my life is chotic and I have a high stress job, and yesterday after I drank a bottle of wine in my room I started thinking about this.So can someone help me out?

SelfSeeking

Read your post again... I think you've answered your questions for yourself. In case you're curious, there do seem to be tons of AA meetings in your area:
Alcoholics Anonymous San Diego Central Office
You could always go and see if you feel "at home". That's more important than the label. If you want to stop drinking, you want to stop drinking, that's enough for today.

ElChupacabra

I was exactly where you were two years ago and then I became an alcoholic shortly afterwards. Sooner or later you will cross into the zone where you will need the drink. I think if you are concerned about it you either stop what you are doing and only drink moderately or socially, or you seek help now to catch it in time.

This place is a great place to start because unlike things like AA it doesn't force you to thing a certain way or make any quick decisions.

BKP

I tried to keep tabs on my drinking and the weekend binge was what it was, a binge. At first i was drink free from Sunday-Thursday. Friday and Saturday I was drinking all day and all night it began to work into Thursday and then into Wednesday nights so i drank about a 12 pack 4 days a week. I was getting crazy so i went to 0 drinks after New Years and feel excellent. The pattern shows, and does not lie. If you need help hook up with us at SR. Only you know you, so figure what is good for you, hope my example helped.

Fubarcdn

Welcome to SR phoenix.

Only you can answer that question as to whether tou are an alcoholic or not. I personally do not like the name but I do recognize I have a drinking problem that can only be solved by not drinking.
I do not attend AA meetings as I am a loner so I get most of my support from the good people at this forum. If you decide that you also have a problem (blackouts is an indication that perhaps you do) and wish to quit drinking because drinking is not really enhancing your life there is plenty of support here at SR.
Good luck . There is usually someone here if you need to talk.

michelle01

Hello Phoenix. I was very similar to BKP here. Last year, I started getting blackouts after my first hour of drinking. I was taken to a hospital one night an hour away from where I live and have no memory of the ambulance ride. Please don't let it get to that kind of stage like I did before taking action.

Anna

Hi,

It seems like alcohol is causing problems in your life.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it will get worse if you don't stop it.

I'm glad you're seeking support and information.

mle-sober

Hi Phoenix. Welcome to SR!

You asked so I'll tell you. Yes - I think you're an alcoholic.

If you google "Am I an alcoholic questionnaire?" you will have many tests to choose from which will most likely all give you the same answer. I bet you've done that already?

Although the tests can tell you, and any number of people in your life can tell you, and we here at SR can tell you -- none of it matters unless you answer the question in your heart.

And just remember, alcoholism is a progressive disease. Just because you're not falling down in the gutter and pawning your tv for drinking money doesn't mean you're not an alcoholic.

I started drinking when I was 14 years old and I was an alcoholic pretty much from the moment I took my first drink. I recall that year distinctly. And the main thing I recall is the vivid feeling of relief I had from getting drunk and drowning out all the misery in my life with booze. Getting drunk was by far the most pleasurable thing I'd ever experienced. And it very quickly became an integral part of how I saw myself and how I moved forward in my life.

No one else's opinion matters but yours. Listen to your own inner voice. If alcohol is negatively impacting how you live your life, think deeply about what you want to do about it.

I wish you well.

CarolD

Welcome ...

Alcoholic blackouts are a huge red flag of danger.
The only way to stop them is to quit drinking.
It's my experience they become more frequent
and last longer. I'm an alcoholic.

AA is an awesome adventure in sober living..
I hope you will join us on the road to recovery.

Sara9009

If you aren't an alcohol ... yet. Then I think you are on the path to becoming one and either way it is better to take a break from drinking. You will get enough clarity to decide if you are an alcoholic and if you decide you aren't you can still enjoy the occassional drink. If you are then you can catch it "early" and not take it "to the wall" so to speak.

If you stay on the road you are on I think there won't be any question on whether or not you are an alcoholic. I had many times where I could have stopped before I let it go so far and I didn't.

I agree with checking out AA if it seems like a program that would work for you. If you go and it doesn't seem like the program for you than there are tons of other avenues you can take to sobriety.

Welcome to SR. I am glad you joined us.

(Please excuse my sp and typos I am sleep deprived)

pheonix1001

i really dont know..I guess I drink to feel ..whenever I feel like I want to feel..weird huh...and I don't feel that often..I am scared to be sober..cause where is the fun when you are not drunk..at least for me that is the case..I tried to go to a meeting today but I backed out cause I felt my problem wasnt big enough

flutter

Personally I hate labels. It sounds like you've at least hashed out the fact that drinking isn't good for you. I hope you find support to stop before it gets worse!! AA is just one of many programs out there, among tons of other ways to find support, everyone seems to find what fits them best. Support only holds you up if you do more than half the work :P Welcome.

CarolD

Many people who are not alcoholics quit drinking when
alcohol is causing them problems.

Only you know what type of problems you are having
and how long you are willing to endure them.

You and I both know that blackouts are not fun.

Hope you find answers ....

Theresa

Pheonix: It took blackouts, and their increasing frequency, to get my attention.

My drinking patterns sound so very similar to yours.

It is becoming less important to me that I figure out if I am an alcoholic or not. The word alcoholic still has such a negative ring to it for me, I think I'm trying to "think" my way out of it! Or I am afraid I will use the term as an excuse to beat up on myself (to drink, that is! lol!)

If telling myself that I am an alcoholic will make me stop, then good. But right now I find myself telling myself that something broke in my body that makes it impossible for me to drink like I used. Sometimes I am a little sad about this. But if telling myself this will keep me from taking that first drink, then that is line I will use on myself.

It's great to have you join our conversation. Welcome!

Theresa

In an earlier post, CarolD gave me this insight about alcoholism = broken drinking ability.

I am messing up the better way she put it into words, but this was my take home message.

Thank you, thank you, Carol

mle-sober

If you are scared to be sober, that's a pretty clear sign that alcohol is controlling your life.

If you don't know how to have fun without alcohol, that's another pretty big sign.

When you tried to go to the meeting and backed out, you rationalized that you didn't go because you felt your problem wasn't big enough. That sounds like a glaring unwillingness to admit the truth. I would bet that, deep down, you backed out because you were scared. That's so normal. It's a scary thing to do - admit you have a problem and begin to seek some help.

I hope you try again.

pheonix1001

its been 2 times in a row and I ve been to the door step of an AA meeting..I havent gone in..I feel guilty that my problems are not as bad as there's //

yeahgr8

Hi Pheonix

It will get a lot worse if you don't stop now. When you next go to the door of an AA meeting remember that you are there to help yourself. You will find the majority if not all will welcome you with open arms and be anxious to get you on the right path asap!

Remember also you are going to the meeting to help yourself, not for other people. This is a very serious part of your life that you need to deal with now.

Good luck!

least

Go try the meeting to find help for yourself, not to see whose problems are the worst. It does sound like you don't like the control alcohol has over your life, so stopping drinking may be the right thing to do. Please don't give up. As long as you continue to drink, these problems will only get worse. Please make an effort to stop before something really bad happens.:ghug3

nelco

,

that was me!! that was me!!

Oh I know that feeling.....


me too !


yep!! been there done that....

lol......its all so familiar



Hi there Im nelco, Im an alcoholic....................