I need HELP bad...I am hooked on pain pills and don't know how to stop...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 40
I need HELP bad...I am hooked on pain pills and don't know how to stop...
It started a long time ago when I got my hands on a huge bottle of vicodin and then ever since anytime I can score some pain meds, vikes, perks or oxy I HAVe to have it....I'm on somethingright now and don't even know what it is...I can't live without it ...my life is falling apart...i need help...I have a littlegirl to care for, my life , she's my sunshine but I feel I need to quit and NOW I can't take it anymore....I tried and to my dismay I crave and crave and don't get anything done....would you believe that I only do it so I can clean house and organize stuff around my house?? Feel sane.
I would like to know if ANYONe knows where to find a sponser or someone I can call and talk to so I can get thru this..I need help and I know I do. I want to live a normal life and give my daughter so much more...so many bad things are going on for me and i'm losing it
I would like to know if ANYONe knows where to find a sponser or someone I can call and talk to so I can get thru this..I need help and I know I do. I want to live a normal life and give my daughter so much more...so many bad things are going on for me and i'm losing it
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!
You really need medical assistance to do this.
De toxing is dangerous to do alone.
Here is a good place to read/post
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
Have you considered finding a local NA meeting?
That is where you find a sponsor.
Blessings to you and your child.
You really need medical assistance to do this.
De toxing is dangerous to do alone.
Here is a good place to read/post
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
Have you considered finding a local NA meeting?
That is where you find a sponsor.
Blessings to you and your child.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
hi, dev angel.....welcome to sr....you have found a great place, with tons of support....
you can call your local NA.....they will be able to talk you through what you need to do to get help.....i am a mother of three, also addicted to vicoden....i have 86 days sober....
you can do this.....people do it every day....it's not impossible, but it is hard....you should listen to carol's advice and contact a doctor...perhaps your local NA can get you in contact with an addiction counsellor or specialist......don't be ashamed...it is so easy to get where you are.....and with help and support, while it won't be so easy to quit....it's not at all impossible....
the good news is you have taken an important step, and a very brave one, by admitting to yourself and others that you have a problem.....i know how scary that is....so now you'll need to figure out the best, and safest way to go about quitting.....
take things one step at a time.....and you can make it....
good luck to you...
ayla
you can call your local NA.....they will be able to talk you through what you need to do to get help.....i am a mother of three, also addicted to vicoden....i have 86 days sober....
you can do this.....people do it every day....it's not impossible, but it is hard....you should listen to carol's advice and contact a doctor...perhaps your local NA can get you in contact with an addiction counsellor or specialist......don't be ashamed...it is so easy to get where you are.....and with help and support, while it won't be so easy to quit....it's not at all impossible....
the good news is you have taken an important step, and a very brave one, by admitting to yourself and others that you have a problem.....i know how scary that is....so now you'll need to figure out the best, and safest way to go about quitting.....
take things one step at a time.....and you can make it....
good luck to you...
ayla
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 33
Hey...hi wave /// over here i am here to listen to help and tell u i know i have been on all pain pills for the last ten years...just for fun i was doing them i am off them now 18 days i start suboxone on 1/30/07 and hey its a gift
im telling you i know i know i live in one room the others are very messy but hey nobody comes overs and when they do i make sure its presentable...i am trying damn hard to organize and in my business stuff i dont know how i have managed...cause in business im good when i come home....shhhhh dont tell anyone its not a pretty site....yet people think i have everything.....hahahahaha i am here for you look in your area for a detox doctor for the subutex.... suboxone its a life saver...
i am doing fine...i am trying im confused cause i have been so cloudy for so long.....so so so long....blur...
i was hiding from the past////////////////////// now i face all head on....welcome to reality....sit down strap your self in and hold on...its great the way the the sub makes you feel....trust me do it NOW....you have tooo please............
im telling you i know i know i live in one room the others are very messy but hey nobody comes overs and when they do i make sure its presentable...i am trying damn hard to organize and in my business stuff i dont know how i have managed...cause in business im good when i come home....shhhhh dont tell anyone its not a pretty site....yet people think i have everything.....hahahahaha i am here for you look in your area for a detox doctor for the subutex.... suboxone its a life saver...
i am doing fine...i am trying im confused cause i have been so cloudy for so long.....so so so long....blur...
i was hiding from the past////////////////////// now i face all head on....welcome to reality....sit down strap your self in and hold on...its great the way the the sub makes you feel....trust me do it NOW....you have tooo please............
Raised from the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
i know exactly what your feeling i have been there. consult a doctor for detoxing off pain meds. i kicked heroin, oxys, and benzo's simutaneously over a year ago. once detoxed all you have to do is make a meeting to find out a the suggested path. it entails getting a sponser, working steps, and regularly attending meetings. asking for help is the first part, which you've done so now its time to consult a doctor and get things rolling.
strap on, your about to expererience the most magnficant ride of your life if you commit to the program!
strap on, your about to expererience the most magnficant ride of your life if you commit to the program!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 33
for sure
Originally Posted by chicago 
strap on, your about to expererience the most magnficant ride of your life if you commit to the program!
this is true i am amazed at how much i see things different its like im whipping the window clear...its so nice please i know too what is going on...its bad it sucks its meserible i am hear for u all
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Dev Angel,
Welcome to SR. As suggested,get medical help and keep coming here.
You mentioned that the medication helped you to "clean house", When I was using, I had the cleanest house in town. I found those pills helped me to do everything better and without them, just getting out of bed in the morning was a task. My life was centered around those pills and getting scripts filled was #1. What made my addiction easy was I had a excuse. I was physically sick and my pills were prescribed. Well, it got so bad my month supply lasted a week! A vicious cycle continued for over a year. My life fell apart.
You can live without them, and live happily. You can do this!
Welcome to SR. As suggested,get medical help and keep coming here.
You mentioned that the medication helped you to "clean house", When I was using, I had the cleanest house in town. I found those pills helped me to do everything better and without them, just getting out of bed in the morning was a task. My life was centered around those pills and getting scripts filled was #1. What made my addiction easy was I had a excuse. I was physically sick and my pills were prescribed. Well, it got so bad my month supply lasted a week! A vicious cycle continued for over a year. My life fell apart.
You can live without them, and live happily. You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 40
I want help now...before I lose my mind
Where do I go to find a na doctor?? I don't want to go to my regular doctor..I'm too ashamed. Who do I call?? I don't know where to start.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 40
I have t3's left and I want this to be the END!!!!!!!!!
I want to do this, I really do but I don't know where to start?? I feel like I've reached my limit u know? Like I'm going to lose my job and everything , even my daughter if anyone finds out...I can't let that happen. I'm SICK of living like this trying to get pain meds from any joeblow out there...I hate it. I want to get past it and get over it. But without them I have no one to tell my problems to, my feelings of worthines, etc..how i can't get nothing done. I can't feel good it seems like.
I feel like if I had a sponsor , someone to call to talk to in my time of needwhen I can't handle it no more (I've tried to quit recently and it feelsimposible) but like where do i go to find this NA doctor, or meetings? I don't know where to begin without causing any attention my way...i can't take off work , I am the sole supporter of my daughter...i have to do it all alone.
I feel like if I had a sponsor , someone to call to talk to in my time of needwhen I can't handle it no more (I've tried to quit recently and it feelsimposible) but like where do i go to find this NA doctor, or meetings? I don't know where to begin without causing any attention my way...i can't take off work , I am the sole supporter of my daughter...i have to do it all alone.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi Dev Angel,
I have found a list of NA meetings in Tacoma. That will be a great place to start to seek help. Also, please call your family dr and explain your situation and that you need advice on how to stop the drugs. You can do this. There are many people here who have gone through this and, yes, it will be hard, but you can have your life back:
City/State/ZIp Location Address Day Time Closed to
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Stree
Sunday 12:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Sunday 19:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Monday 08:30 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Monday 12:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Monday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Monday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Asbury Methodist Church 5601 South Puget Sound
Monday 18:30 No Women Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Monday 19:00 No Format Varies Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Tuesday 12:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Tuesday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Tuesday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98405 Saint Leo's 1323 South Yakima
Tuesday 19:00 No Topic, Non-Smoking Estimated Miles: 1.5
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Wednesday 08:30 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Wednesday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Wednesday 12:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Wednesday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98404 Bethany Methodist Church 5634 South Park Avenue
Wednesday 19:00 No Non-Smoking, Discussion/Participation Estimated Miles: 3.0
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Thursday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Thursday 12:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Thursday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Thursday 19:00 No Format Varies Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98405 Saint Leo's 1323 South Yakima
Thursday 19:00 No Non-Smoking, Topic Estimated Miles: 1.5
Tacoma WA 98403 Christ Episcopal Church 310 North K Street
Thursday 19:30 No Format Varies Estimated Miles: 1.6
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Friday 08:30 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Friday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Friday 12:00 No Topic, Step, Beginner/Newcomer, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Friday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98405 Brotherhood Church of God 2124 Martin Luther King Jr Way
Friday 18:00 No Step, Tradition Estimated Miles: 1.5
Tacoma WA 98402 Asbury Methodist Church 5601 South Puget Sound
Friday 19:00 No Format Varies Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Saturday 09:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Saturday 15:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98404
I have found a list of NA meetings in Tacoma. That will be a great place to start to seek help. Also, please call your family dr and explain your situation and that you need advice on how to stop the drugs. You can do this. There are many people here who have gone through this and, yes, it will be hard, but you can have your life back:
City/State/ZIp Location Address Day Time Closed to
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Stree
Sunday 12:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Sunday 19:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Monday 08:30 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Monday 12:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Monday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Monday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Asbury Methodist Church 5601 South Puget Sound
Monday 18:30 No Women Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Monday 19:00 No Format Varies Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Tuesday 12:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Tuesday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Tuesday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98405 Saint Leo's 1323 South Yakima
Tuesday 19:00 No Topic, Non-Smoking Estimated Miles: 1.5
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Wednesday 08:30 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Wednesday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Wednesday 12:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Wednesday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98404 Bethany Methodist Church 5634 South Park Avenue
Wednesday 19:00 No Non-Smoking, Discussion/Participation Estimated Miles: 3.0
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Thursday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Thursday 12:00 No Topic, Beginner/Newcomer, Step, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Thursday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Thursday 19:00 No Format Varies Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98405 Saint Leo's 1323 South Yakima
Thursday 19:00 No Non-Smoking, Topic Estimated Miles: 1.5
Tacoma WA 98403 Christ Episcopal Church 310 North K Street
Thursday 19:30 No Format Varies Estimated Miles: 1.6
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Friday 08:30 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Friday 12:00 No Beginner/Newcomer Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Thee Turning Point 2534 Tacoma Avenue South
Club Room
Friday 12:00 No Topic, Step, Beginner/Newcomer, Basic Text, Children Welcome Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Friday 17:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98405 Brotherhood Church of God 2124 Martin Luther King Jr Way
Friday 18:00 No Step, Tradition Estimated Miles: 1.5
Tacoma WA 98402 Asbury Methodist Church 5601 South Puget Sound
Friday 19:00 No Format Varies Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Saturday 09:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98402 Rialto Apartments 311 South 9th Street
Saturday 15:00 No Estimated Miles: 0.4
Tacoma WA 98404
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: seattle
Posts: 468
Hi Dev_angel
I live in seattle, but ive been in michigan visiting family. There are alot of NA meetings in Sea-tac area. Meetings are my lifeline to staying clean.
First thing, here are the Narcotics Anon helplines for your area. They can help you find a meeting, and a temporary sponser, and maybe find someone to take you to your first meetings. Theese are 24 hour help lines.
253 -872-3494 (kent)
253 -531-8792 (tacoma)
When you get to a meeting , introduce yourself as a newcomer, and let them know you're looking for someone to help you get started. They will give you a list of women's phone numbers, to call for help. Use Them!!Everyone who is staying clean in NA has been where you are, and we all found help there. We keep coming back to maintain our sobriety, and to HELP OTHERS find what we've found - a way to stay clean...
Alot of recovered addicts also attend AA meetings. Also, there are great CA meetings in your area. But you should focus first on NA. Get and read the book, get peoples phone numbers, Use Them, go to as many meetings as you can, get a sponser, work the steps with her. - go to as many meetings as you need so you dont need to use just for today.
http://www.pcana.org/
this link is to NA in your area. You can find more information, and meeting locations.
I live in seattle, but ive been in michigan visiting family. There are alot of NA meetings in Sea-tac area. Meetings are my lifeline to staying clean.
First thing, here are the Narcotics Anon helplines for your area. They can help you find a meeting, and a temporary sponser, and maybe find someone to take you to your first meetings. Theese are 24 hour help lines.
253 -872-3494 (kent)
253 -531-8792 (tacoma)
When you get to a meeting , introduce yourself as a newcomer, and let them know you're looking for someone to help you get started. They will give you a list of women's phone numbers, to call for help. Use Them!!Everyone who is staying clean in NA has been where you are, and we all found help there. We keep coming back to maintain our sobriety, and to HELP OTHERS find what we've found - a way to stay clean...
Alot of recovered addicts also attend AA meetings. Also, there are great CA meetings in your area. But you should focus first on NA. Get and read the book, get peoples phone numbers, Use Them, go to as many meetings as you can, get a sponser, work the steps with her. - go to as many meetings as you need so you dont need to use just for today.
http://www.pcana.org/
this link is to NA in your area. You can find more information, and meeting locations.
Last edited by Aa_vark; 02-19-2007 at 03:38 PM.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
You can go to any Dr., Dev, and be honest. They've heard it before, believe me. I do STRONGLY recommend finding a Dr. who is also an addictionologist. It makes a difference.
Call the NA/AA hotline numbers RIGHT NOW. You can talk with someone who can help get you to a meeting just by dialing the phone.
Go ahead. We'll be right here cheering you on!
Call the NA/AA hotline numbers RIGHT NOW. You can talk with someone who can help get you to a meeting just by dialing the phone.
Go ahead. We'll be right here cheering you on!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 40
Ok ..I am going to call tomorrow ..I just can't right now but I will..that is my goal
My goal is to make tomorrow a turning point and reach out to another person. I hate myself right now..I had 8 pills left and just took 4. After this I only have 4 left and they are barely working as it is but it's like just the thought of taking them helps me get by..stupid huh? If it were up to me I'd take all 8. I'd drink if I didn't have mylittle girl but for now I've not touched the liquor but I am tempted to. I've even thought about breaking my own leg or foot or hand just to get pain meds...dumb huh? I feel like I am so LOST !!!
I don't know if I have depression problems or obsessive compulsive disorders or what the heck is wrong with me...I do realize I have dependency issues and right now it's to the damn pills . I feel lazy like if I don't take the pills I can't get anything done. I can't make a phone call, I can't pay bills, I can't clean dishes...I can't think straight. I get by at work just fine without them oddly enough but once I leave work I have to take some pills...I Yearn for the time when I didn't need a damn pill at ALL!!! I want to be that person again...but then again I was messed up anyway. If I wasn't addicted to a guy I got addicted to pain pills, or buying things I can't afford. I am going downhills big time and I don't know how Im going to pay my bills or anything.but oh yeah, I have money set aside just in case I get the hook up on more vikes or perks or oxy...again, dumb!!! I feel like a complete loser yet I can't stop being a loser.
I THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO VERY MUCH FOR LISTENING TO ME. I am ashamed and I was brought up to not cry, never cry...crying is just feeling sorry for myself. Crying is weak. My aunt who lives right next door always tells me how I should never need anyone and here I am wishing andhoping someone would notice me and my problem and realize I want help..I am ready for help.
Oddly enough I KNOW if someone were right there beside me for at least a few weeks I feel like I can kick this damn habit...like I can get back on top of the world and be a good mom. But alone it won't happen. I just can't figure out where to muster up the strength to do it.Again...I am ashamed. I look at my daughter and want to hurt myself because why in gods name can't I kick the habit for her sake?? What the heck is wrong with me? What a terrible mother I am. I feel like I am a lost soul who no one notices.
But I amVERY thank ful to have found you all...thank you sooooooo much!!!!
Tomorrow I am going to call one of those phone numbers as I know I will be without any pills by the time I get home from work if I even go to work and I will be back here..Please you guys, don't leave me ok?
Again, thank you for all the support...I know I sound like a lost hope but I feel like if I didn't find this forum and you all that I Might not of even tried.
I don't know if I have depression problems or obsessive compulsive disorders or what the heck is wrong with me...I do realize I have dependency issues and right now it's to the damn pills . I feel lazy like if I don't take the pills I can't get anything done. I can't make a phone call, I can't pay bills, I can't clean dishes...I can't think straight. I get by at work just fine without them oddly enough but once I leave work I have to take some pills...I Yearn for the time when I didn't need a damn pill at ALL!!! I want to be that person again...but then again I was messed up anyway. If I wasn't addicted to a guy I got addicted to pain pills, or buying things I can't afford. I am going downhills big time and I don't know how Im going to pay my bills or anything.but oh yeah, I have money set aside just in case I get the hook up on more vikes or perks or oxy...again, dumb!!! I feel like a complete loser yet I can't stop being a loser.
I THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO VERY MUCH FOR LISTENING TO ME. I am ashamed and I was brought up to not cry, never cry...crying is just feeling sorry for myself. Crying is weak. My aunt who lives right next door always tells me how I should never need anyone and here I am wishing andhoping someone would notice me and my problem and realize I want help..I am ready for help.
Oddly enough I KNOW if someone were right there beside me for at least a few weeks I feel like I can kick this damn habit...like I can get back on top of the world and be a good mom. But alone it won't happen. I just can't figure out where to muster up the strength to do it.Again...I am ashamed. I look at my daughter and want to hurt myself because why in gods name can't I kick the habit for her sake?? What the heck is wrong with me? What a terrible mother I am. I feel like I am a lost soul who no one notices.
But I amVERY thank ful to have found you all...thank you sooooooo much!!!!
Tomorrow I am going to call one of those phone numbers as I know I will be without any pills by the time I get home from work if I even go to work and I will be back here..Please you guys, don't leave me ok?
Again, thank you for all the support...I know I sound like a lost hope but I feel like if I didn't find this forum and you all that I Might not of even tried.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 33
i know...i know what it is...this is a living nightmare...hang in there...please know that i am here and so are many other wonderful people...i have people that have sent me messages and stuff and is nice its nice to be accepted by total strangers....we all are in this together so here i am offer my =) and good thoughts to u....=)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: syracuse,ny
Posts: 99
You are not a bad person or mother, you are sick. Your DR. won't judge or think badly of you, you are not the first person he has helped with this problem, and you are not alone. Prayers for you and your little girl.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: new mexico
Posts: 2
you are not alone
wow i feel ur pain on this! i started just takin perc 512's and just one would do me good and i am now snorting oxy 30mg and more than one at a time..i also have a lil boy who is 3 years old and i need it to have the energy to get up and do anything with him..i wont clean without em.i really cant go too long with out them and if i do i am just miserable and feel like i cant breathe.
i dont know where u can go for help..but i did want u to know u arent the only one who goes through this..believe it or not i am 19 yrs old and have been living on my own takin care of my kid working and doing a damn good job for myself,this is my only downfall..just know u arent alone fightin this battle and i hope that u are able to get help!take care!
i dont know where u can go for help..but i did want u to know u arent the only one who goes through this..believe it or not i am 19 yrs old and have been living on my own takin care of my kid working and doing a damn good job for myself,this is my only downfall..just know u arent alone fightin this battle and i hope that u are able to get help!take care!
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