Crycket27

In 2005 I had a major surgery (Gastric Bypass) that led me to finally be constantly supervised by a primary care physician in which I had to choose one to trust. I found one, & I've trusted in him since and I ended up going to him monthly.
Here is a list of medicines he prescribed Monthly Since 2005! This screwed me up bad and I am just now able to say Im feeling almost recovered.
1. Adderall (60 count)
2. Xanax's (90count)
3. Hydrocodones (45 count)
4. Topomax (30 count)

Up until 12-2008. Thats when I received notification I was discharged. In August of 2008, I came to him explaining that I feel extremely tired, weak, etc. He checked me out, I am terribly anemic he finds out, and signs me out of work for 30 days. I come back after 30 days and he tests me again, still terribly anemic!! Then he realizes he must send me to a specialist to find out whats wrong w/ me. All of a sudden now in September of 2008 He talks to me about my usage of Pain Pills. Ok Im wondering why? I tell him I still take them as I always have no more, no less. Why does he feel the need to question me now? He has never before.
All the while I go to see the specialists, that he has sent me to. I receive in the mail notification that I've been referred to Pain Management. ??? I don't understand why?? However, My sister w/ the same last name as me, goes to him as well, one day during all of this, she was questioned of selling this to kids in school, she immediately defends herself and then he corrects himself and tells her that nevermind this accusation was directed towards your sister and he apologizes right awat. Soon after Thats when I received the referral. Well, I don't think all too much into that, because I want off the pain meds anyways Im more concerned with the results of why Im so anemic. So I continue to go there to his office regardless of whats been questioned about me. I try Follow up w/ him to obtain the results from the colonoscopy & endoscopy, well he wasn't in on this particular day so I had to see his assistant which is very rare I ever see him, well he seemed to be more interested in talking to me about opiod dependency and prescribed Suboxone (which I could not stand at all) rather than even touching the results of my results!?!?!? I was infuriated, but decided to myself I will just come back sometime when my regular doctor will be in to discuss the results w/ him. Well, I leave and 2 days later I get a discharge letter from his practice. I tried to call my regular Doctor to try to talk to him about what have I did wrong? So I get the Manager on the phone and she is vietnamese talks so fast and hateful to me and refuses to discuss reason with me, and forcefully accuses me of all this wrongdoing. Selling my meds' etc. WHich honestly I never had done so. NEVER!!! She said the pain med's was not in my system, of coarse they wasn't I was completly embarressed to go back right away I was about 1 week to 2 weeks off my regular monthly checkup time because of whats been said about me, I was about to not return period, then I decided that I had to! Well, Im stuck wondering what do I do now? Where do I turn to without being ashamed of what they have put in my records, which is wrong, and I have come the conclusion that he was scared of the specialists to find out all he prescribed to me each month. And as long as I always said I was feeling great up until August he was fine with prescribing me pills as if I was a guinea pig. I just don't know what to do now. Can another doctor help, an attorney, Medical board? Can Anyone help me? I need to get back on the right medicines if I need any of those he prescribed or if I don't any, and need the right med's without feeling ashamed of whats other physicians think about me... Please HELP!!!!

Thank you.... And yes, this is my first post...sorry so long I didn't know where else to turn to.....

bovinePieBear

Hi there, and welcome. You're clearly very distressed and you're giving a lot of information, but there seems to be two main issues:

1) Selling drugs to kids. You need legal representation, and I would imagine it's not really an issue anyone on SR can give you advice on other than that.
2) Personal issues with painkiller abuse is another thing. If you have a problem with either walking away from or controlling your intake of the drugs, that's what we can talk about on the Sober Recovery forum. There are even specific forums here where you can get help around painkiller recovery.

Either way, you need to be as clear and honest as you can, and help is available here.

Crycket27

I didn't mention that I never and would not ever even think to do that. I am a 31 year old mother of an 8 yr old and a 2 year old. I have a 15 yr old sister I raise as if she was my own daughter, our mother is going through her own trials at this moment, and I would kill if anyone ever gave my sister anything. I am so overprotective over her. If you just knew me, I would not ever even think of considering to do such a thing. My mother used to ask me all the time to give her some of my medicine, and I refused. She used to say I was greedy? ! ? ! How can your mother say that? Anyways thats another story for another day. Just say I never gave none of my prescriptions away nor sold them. I do fine with money, I don't need to make a dollar and jeaopardize my children or my health and name. I've worked too hard to be the best mother I can for my kids, and raise myself to go and do something as so idiotic as that. I honest to gof think this is something they have come up with I truly to god believe he has made up to discharge me to cover his own rear end! Now that the specialists have had to step in. Ya know? Im just lost. I dont even know where to begin.

bovinePieBear

Hey,trust me, I would never imagine that you would do any such thing, why would I? You know in your own mind where you stand, and that's the important thing. But you'll find your thoughts a little clearer if you take a breath and try to calm - no manner of being frantic is going to make this change.

Ok, leaving other issues aside. You ask in your post title, "Am I an addict?" Well, are you?

Crycket27

This is why I have come to the boards, my sister I mentioned goes to the same doctor, well she went the other day and I fount myself asking her if she will give me a few of of hers. We always talked about never doing that and I have done it. Now that I don't get them prescribed no longer. My back has that burning pain in the middle again like it did years ago. But yet, I know Aleves can take care of that, And I seem to want them when I can't have them now. But when I had them, I wanted off of them, so I wouldn't depend on them. The only medicine Im finding I feel as if I need is Adderall, because he has yet also diagnosed me with Adult ADHD. Am I truly? I don't know? Thats what I want to find out without feeling embarressed.

Crycket27

I think I might be, after 4 years of him prescribing the painkillers and I'm asking around for them because I can't get them no longer I may be. And I feel ashamed because I used to not ever do this. What do I do? Where on earth can I go for help now? I feel like Im dying inside because Im so confused and lost. Which I want the adderalls, but painkillers are easier to obtain without a doctor to go to. I dont want to be this way for too long. I need help. Sorry Im crying right now and I just don't want to be this way for not just my sake more importantly my kids. I hate him (My former Doc) For doing this to me. I promise you this, when he first prescribed those to me, I remember I called my mother to ask her what they were, and I remember her getting so excited that I got those. He had just told me they were for my back and to take when needed. Then I ended up where Im at now.

bovinePieBear

It's really important to say that there's no way that anyone here on SR can give you any medical advice at all. For that, you need to see qualified medical practitioners. There's no getting around it, I'm afraid, you need to go and see another doctor.

Crycket27

Ha, now that I recall other than the Xanax's basically everything he prescribed to me was a question on what it was.

bovinePieBear

Ok, this is clearly a horrible time for you, and there's no wonder you're upset. You DO need to go see another doctor, but you might also want to think about looking for local support for your painkiller issues. It's common, and there's plenty of help to be had from people who know exactly what you're going through.

For now, try to find someone, a family member or friend, who can be with you and hold your hand. Then, get practical. Contact a doctor. Find support - including here on SR. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to go right now - I'm so sorry to leave you like this. But there are others on the forums who will be along with help for you.

I wish you peace.

Crycket27

I Think I should too, but he was worried about his tail and documented false information in my charts, and now Im worried what another practioner will think. So I probably wont go, and will keep drowning in self pity because I feel as if he has destroyed my name for no reasons I ever gave. Except becomming anemic... And needing a specialist.

Crycket27

Thank you so much for your kind words, I look forward to talking again. I will be around for much of the day looking for responses as I need help. BaD!

Anna

Hi,

Welcome!

Your situation is a little confusing, but it sounds to me like your dr was prescribing a lot of medication to you, on a monthly basis. I wonder if he gave you a reason for each of the medications he was giving you, because it seems now like he is just protecting himself and distancing himself from you?

I agree you need to find a reliable family dr that you can talk to. Discuss your health issues with him and move forward from there. As far as getting off the meds you are on, and staying clean, there is lots of support here.

Crycket27

Thank you for your response. Yes, I mean we had a great relationship we laughed and joked around, I trusted in him so much. It just shocked me that all of a sudden he turned on me the way he did and all these accusations an talks about dependency was shoved in my face all at once. Then discharged? My problem now is facing another practioner and having them understand there are crooked doctors out there that could and would do this to someone. And understand that also, Im going through painkillers withdrawels, and adderall withdrawels. Im wondering if I should talk to an attorney, or maybe even go up to his office and get my records and appreciate the genorosity in front of their entire practice. (jk) I wouldn't do that, but yes, get my records and let them know how upset this has made me too. Can I have an adderall my mind is going in 30 different directions...lol, Im kidding. well at least im not crying no more.

Anna

I think, most definitely, there are irresponsible doctors, absolutely.

But, do remember, that you also need to take personal responsibility in this instance. My advice would be, to go to a new dr and be honest about happened and sincere in your desire to stop taking the meds.

I am glad that you are seeking support.