lilmama

Hi I just wanted to intro myself and get some advice. I am 27 mother of 3. Recently divorced (well almost a year ago) I am a full time nursing student. I started using Vicodin about 2 years ago when my ex husband was in a serious motorcyle accident. It started becuase I had back pain and would take them to feel better, then I enjoyed the high and would take them just because. Ok so now I see a doc regularly and for the past 7 months have been getting my own perscription for my back problems I have no disc in 3 different parts of my back so no doubt I do have real pain. I take more then what my prescrition states. I do it so I can feel good get things done but now I notice it just makes me feel "normal." I know how horrible it is and I am afraid to tell anyone. People know I take them but they think its only becuase of the pain. I want to stop but I am afraid with my kids and school how can I possibly go through the detox? Anyone have any advice I am fully open to whatever. I also want to mention I have my kids 50/50 and i lover them with all my heart I am afraid if it got out I have a problem I would end up with less custody. I always care for my kids so please dont say I am a bad mom or something but I do also know I am not a good mom because they need me and I am endangering myself. I also have never done a forum or any of this so I dont really know how it works so pointers there would be helpful as well

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm so glad you found us.

My suggestion is for you to talk to your dr about getting off the drugs and following his advice. I think if you are honestly trying to recover, you will not lose custody of your kids. On the other hand, if you continue to use the drugs, you may very well be putting your custody agreement in jeopardy.

I am so glad that you are seeking help.

Sara9009

Welcome to SR. Have you considered an evaluation through a Pain Clinic or an Addictionologist? They would probably be better suited to evaluate your situation that your regular Doctor.

SeaHorse

Are you going to have to take pain pills for the rest of your life? I had to take pain pills for two weeks after surgery. And if I had to stay on them, I know I would've got addicted because of the warm fuzzy feeling...which i knew would make me take more and more pills to get that feeling...

That is a really tough situation for life-long chronic pain...Is there anything your dr. can recommend that is non-addictive that can handle the pain....I sure hope your pain is only temp. cuz painkillers are such a tightrope to walk for us addicts....Best of luck to you....keep coming back here and sharing...and kudos to you for wanting to be the best mom you can for your kids!

least

Yes, do talk with your doctor about wanting to get off them. There are ways of doing that, both at home or at a detox center. Please talk with your doctor. They can advise you further. Also see if you have any mental health programs in your area. Often there is counseling available depending on income. Also you could call your local NA group. Going to some meetings may inspire you more in quitting.

Welcome to SR!! I'm glad you're here!!:ghug3

Horselover

Welcome to SR and don't worry about us judging you. There are lots of us Moms that have been in your shoes. Addiction is the enemy, not you. Please get medical help for the detox as stated and please feel free to post whenever you have a need. Glad you joined SR.

Liberty47

Lilmama, go to Suboxone.com and find a doctor near you. The pills are expensive, but they take alway all cravings so you can do the work you need to do to achieve long term sobriety. More importantly, they will help you to detox all but painlessly and PRIVATELY so you don't have to go inpatient or even outpatient.

CarolD

Welcome!

With your existing back problems...I hope you will re consider
your career choice. When I was working health care
as a CNA there was a lot of lifting and bending involved.

My daughter...a nurse...had to stop nursing due to her back
problems caused by lifting people. She now is a
medical transcriptionist.

Hoping the best for you and your children...

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!

I agree with the above..you may want to check with an addictionologist. My stepsister has chronic pain and is working with an addictionologist to control her pain, after becoming addicted to pills.

I was an RN for 12 years...it IS physically demanding. I ruptured a disc in my back, due to lifting/moving patients. However, my cousin is also an RN and has done clinical research, her entire career, and does not do any actual patient care...something to think about.

You've come to a great place...no one will judge you, and there are some great and supportive people here.

I highly recommend you work on your recovery before getting into the nursing field. Nursing, practically, programs you to think that every illness can be solved with medication of some type. For a "normal" person, this is not a problem. For those of us, who have problems with addiction, it can add fuel to our addictive thinking.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

aasharon90

If I have to visit the doctor for anything
they know that I am in recovery and if
medicine is prescribed then make sure
its not narcotic or habit forming. That
seems to put my mind at ease.

Thanks for letting me share.

Hi Im Sharon and Im an alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely
grateful.

lilmama

wow thank you all for the great advice. I wasnt expecting much response so its nice to hear from you all. As far as my nursing it has been on my mind about it being a good career choice or not and what exactly I want to do with it possibly managment may keep me out of the physical part so much. I have my kids at their fathers fo rthis next weekend and I am going to try to really taper off the vics while they are gone. I dont know how exactly I usually take anywhere from 8-10 a day. I am not sure if that is alot or not? But I am going to half it friday then half that amount sat and try none sunday. Do you all think that is a good plan? I am open to other suggestions. Also any ideas what I can do to make it easier I am really afraid of any withdrawls? Do you think the amt I take will cause bad withdrawls?

nobodyknows

welcome! glad you are here :ghug3

personally i would consult with the doctor before you stop taking them or reduce the amount you're taking

Impurrfect

I also recommend speaking with a doctor. My doctor knows all about my past history, including my abuse of pain meds, and he is wonderful. I have had to take pain meds, on occasion, and we worked out a plan, when I first went to him, before I ever needed any. By being honest with him, and him knowing my legit pain issues, my pain concerns are covered, and my recovery is protected. There is no shame in being honest with your doctor. It is also a smart thing to do, as you are showing you're serious about recovery...the more roadblocks we put in our path to prevent being able to go back and get more drugs, the better.

Opiate withdrawals, from what I've read here, are like having a pretty bad case of the flu and last about a week. Again, your doctor would be the one to talk to.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy