Ok, I am going to post this at a risk...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
A Couple/Few Suggestions---Possibly Helpful...?
In advance I want to appologize for the length of this.....I just got carried away..... (o:
Hey Katie ----
I'm glad you're giving AA a fresh start. I see you're getting acquainted with some women there.....goodonya. When I was first starting out in recovery, my sponsor made a couple of suggestions (actually they were 'rules' at least for a 'try-out' time), perhaps they may help you too. I know it can be hard finding a lot of women in AA, at times, but keep giving it a go.....
Now, the two suggestions (yes, two; they kinda go together) I was given, and I hereby send on you were, and are.....:
1) get at least two NEW phone numbers (of WOMEN) at every meeting you attend; and
2) make three phone calls to three women every day; now the tough part of this is.....: answering machines do NOT count; you've gotta talk to a live person---almost like a conversation, but not; all you've really gotta say, once the woman is on the phone is, "Hi, this is Noelle (but use your name---LOL), and this is just one of my AA calls for today," and then you can hang-up; you don't even have to give them a chance to respond.....LOLOL
These suggestions may seem strange, or maybe even useless, but not only are they 'spot-on' (to borrow a term), they are also extremely useful.
Most Alcoholics, especially in early recovery, have found it easier to stay stopped and recover if they have some sort of accountability team or support groups surrounding them. Suggestion number one above helps with that (among other things; like getting out of oneself....?).
In early recovery, most alcoholics find it hard to reach out for help; that ole telephone seems to weigh a ton! LOL ....and number two above helps with this. If you get used to calling, and speaking with at least three folks a day, then when/if the time comes that you need help.......well you will automatically go to the phone and start dialing ---- righton!! You may find one other positive about this suggestion, as I did one time....very humbling experience. I was making one of my calls for the day, and because I was such a selfish li’ll twit, I was barely paying any attention to the other end of the call, BUT when I did shut-up for a second, I could tell the woman was crying, and she said, “Thank God, you called, I’ve been standing by this dang phone; I really wanna go out and drink.” Well, I can tell ya, that sure set me straight....maybe my sponsor was onto something.....lol These suggestions were not just for me, but for everybody and anybody..... (o:
Now, I’m going to make one more suggestion; also one that my sponsor gave to me, which I find to be true and useful to this day.....Plz don’t take offense; I hope I just word this right(?), or good(?)....ah well, here goes......:
I know there have been folks on here who have been less than kind in their responses to you; and you, in typical hurt responded in kind, and y’all were off to the races....When I was new in recovery, there were some folks who always managed to tick me off.....grrrrr When I was with my sponsor, p!@#$%##@$in’ and moanin, bi$#@@$in’ and kvetchin’ and otherwise just mouthin’off about these folks (these other alcoholics who were just trying to recover); saying things like, “Person A is such a !@#^$%#$; he/she knows nothing; there goes Person B again, talkin’ outta his/her a$$ agin; and Person C....? Well, they’ve got nothing I want (well they did have 530+ continuous days of abstinence, if nothing else, and I did want that, didn’t I? Silly me, wrong again..... LOLOL.
When I finally came up for air, and took a breath, my sponsor suggested (now, this is paraphrased, but it’s pretty much the jist of the suggestion, and I still use it today), “Now Noelle, perhaps these folks aren’t really saying what you’re hearing---a perception thing....? From now on, bring a pen and pad to meetings and when these folks start to speak, try writing down as much as you can of what they’re saying. Try not to paraphrase; try to get as close to verbatim as possible.”
....After a while, I realized that these folks were saying some pretty kewl things.....and my perception was changing too....who’da thunkit.....LOL I’ve also found that the persons I want to listen to the least are usually the folks I need to listen to the most.....
Well, enough about me for now. Again, I hope I have not offended you (or anyone else here on SR), and plz accept my apologies ahead of time. I hope this has helped some; for you, Katie, or anyone else....heck, it’s helped me, if that counts....lol It’s good to see you, Katie, being honest, and your open minded attitude, and showing your willingness to listen and grow.....
WOOOHOOO, how about that; Katie’s figured out how it works.....lol (HOW=honesty, openmindedness, and willingness). You go girl...!!
NoelleR
Hey Katie ----
I'm glad you're giving AA a fresh start. I see you're getting acquainted with some women there.....goodonya. When I was first starting out in recovery, my sponsor made a couple of suggestions (actually they were 'rules' at least for a 'try-out' time), perhaps they may help you too. I know it can be hard finding a lot of women in AA, at times, but keep giving it a go.....
Now, the two suggestions (yes, two; they kinda go together) I was given, and I hereby send on you were, and are.....:
1) get at least two NEW phone numbers (of WOMEN) at every meeting you attend; and
2) make three phone calls to three women every day; now the tough part of this is.....: answering machines do NOT count; you've gotta talk to a live person---almost like a conversation, but not; all you've really gotta say, once the woman is on the phone is, "Hi, this is Noelle (but use your name---LOL), and this is just one of my AA calls for today," and then you can hang-up; you don't even have to give them a chance to respond.....LOLOL
These suggestions may seem strange, or maybe even useless, but not only are they 'spot-on' (to borrow a term), they are also extremely useful.
Most Alcoholics, especially in early recovery, have found it easier to stay stopped and recover if they have some sort of accountability team or support groups surrounding them. Suggestion number one above helps with that (among other things; like getting out of oneself....?).
In early recovery, most alcoholics find it hard to reach out for help; that ole telephone seems to weigh a ton! LOL ....and number two above helps with this. If you get used to calling, and speaking with at least three folks a day, then when/if the time comes that you need help.......well you will automatically go to the phone and start dialing ---- righton!! You may find one other positive about this suggestion, as I did one time....very humbling experience. I was making one of my calls for the day, and because I was such a selfish li’ll twit, I was barely paying any attention to the other end of the call, BUT when I did shut-up for a second, I could tell the woman was crying, and she said, “Thank God, you called, I’ve been standing by this dang phone; I really wanna go out and drink.” Well, I can tell ya, that sure set me straight....maybe my sponsor was onto something.....lol These suggestions were not just for me, but for everybody and anybody..... (o:
Now, I’m going to make one more suggestion; also one that my sponsor gave to me, which I find to be true and useful to this day.....Plz don’t take offense; I hope I just word this right(?), or good(?)....ah well, here goes......:
I know there have been folks on here who have been less than kind in their responses to you; and you, in typical hurt responded in kind, and y’all were off to the races....When I was new in recovery, there were some folks who always managed to tick me off.....grrrrr When I was with my sponsor, p!@#$%##@$in’ and moanin, bi$#@@$in’ and kvetchin’ and otherwise just mouthin’off about these folks (these other alcoholics who were just trying to recover); saying things like, “Person A is such a !@#^$%#$; he/she knows nothing; there goes Person B again, talkin’ outta his/her a$$ agin; and Person C....? Well, they’ve got nothing I want (well they did have 530+ continuous days of abstinence, if nothing else, and I did want that, didn’t I? Silly me, wrong again..... LOLOL.
When I finally came up for air, and took a breath, my sponsor suggested (now, this is paraphrased, but it’s pretty much the jist of the suggestion, and I still use it today), “Now Noelle, perhaps these folks aren’t really saying what you’re hearing---a perception thing....? From now on, bring a pen and pad to meetings and when these folks start to speak, try writing down as much as you can of what they’re saying. Try not to paraphrase; try to get as close to verbatim as possible.”
....After a while, I realized that these folks were saying some pretty kewl things.....and my perception was changing too....who’da thunkit.....LOL I’ve also found that the persons I want to listen to the least are usually the folks I need to listen to the most.....
Well, enough about me for now. Again, I hope I have not offended you (or anyone else here on SR), and plz accept my apologies ahead of time. I hope this has helped some; for you, Katie, or anyone else....heck, it’s helped me, if that counts....lol It’s good to see you, Katie, being honest, and your open minded attitude, and showing your willingness to listen and grow.....
WOOOHOOO, how about that; Katie’s figured out how it works.....lol (HOW=honesty, openmindedness, and willingness). You go girl...!!
NoelleR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,141
Originally Posted by SavageHurricane 
Katie!
Have you read mle's post? Because you've given no indication that you have and a lot of effort went into it.
There's a lot of wisdom in it if you choose to see it.
Have you read mle's post? Because you've given no indication that you have and a lot of effort went into it.
There's a lot of wisdom in it if you choose to see it.
MLE - I said it before and I'll say it again - you should be a therapist. God Bless.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Maybe, it's cause I'm getting older
I have to stop and think, how important is it really?
I sift thru the things in my life that, make a lasting impression on where I'm going. If, you've ever kept a journal, you'll go back and read it and many things you'll find, you've forgot about.
When, I find myself upset on any given day, I have to remember, this to shall pass.
I have to stop and think, how important is it really?
I sift thru the things in my life that, make a lasting impression on where I'm going. If, you've ever kept a journal, you'll go back and read it and many things you'll find, you've forgot about.
When, I find myself upset on any given day, I have to remember, this to shall pass.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I hating hearing the things I needed to hear the most. It really pissed me off. It wasn't until later I realized why it bothered me so and the impact it had on me and why.
When backed into a corner fully enveloped in our addiction it is hard to see the big picture or hear the meaning behind the words. At the time, the words seem hurtful and without compassion. It is when we are able to step back and observe honestly, the words begin to make sense and we are able to understand.
Until then, we may need others to see what we can't see and hear what we are unwilling to hear. It isn't easy, but is a necessary process in finding recovery.
When backed into a corner fully enveloped in our addiction it is hard to see the big picture or hear the meaning behind the words. At the time, the words seem hurtful and without compassion. It is when we are able to step back and observe honestly, the words begin to make sense and we are able to understand.
Until then, we may need others to see what we can't see and hear what we are unwilling to hear. It isn't easy, but is a necessary process in finding recovery.
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