Eclipse

I need some encouraging words or a kick in the a**. Not sure which will work best, but I am willing to take either. I am having a really hard time getting past a week. I have no excuses. We have jobs, a warm home, great kids (even though 3 of them are teenage girls) and extended family, I had all the blood work done in October and given a clean bill of health...but I always find an excuse. I am not drinking to excess, but I don't want to drink at all. I bought wine last night and really didn't even want it...SO WHY DID I DRINK IT?

I had a month last October and didn't crave alcohol at all. It was great. I want to be there again. I felt good about myself and was motivated and organized.

I have met so many great people on this site from all over the world and most of them are doing great, so why not me? Okay enough of the whining.

I guess Friday the 13th is as good a day as any to start over again. Thanks for listening (reading).

Fubarcdn

I will be the good cop and give you encouragement. Get back on the wagon and start again. You can do it if you want to.
The bad cop will be along in a few minutes with your kick.

least

I will be the loving mother who puts a bandaid on your hurt and holds you while you cry it out... then I'll send you to your room without supper. That's as "bad cop" as I can manage.:ghug3 But I won't kick your behind cause you're already doing that to yourself.

least

excuse the double post. it only needs to be said once

adore79

Hi Eclipse. I think you drank the wine because you are an alcoholic, thats what we do. Tonight though you can do something different and just not buy it, no matter what it takes.

Im about two weeks sober now and it is scary, I want to drink even though it is now illegal for me to buy or consume alcohol! But if I really wanted to, I could drink, but I just wont. And you dont have to either. :ghug3

least

excuse the double post - tried to edit it away but got data base error...

Eclipse

Oops, I guess I should have read a couple of other threads before I posted...

Anna

Hi Eclipse,

I am glad you are here and trying to remain sober.

I wonder what else you did, besides stopping drinking, to help your recovery? Stopping drinking is the beginning of the journey.

jsml1234

Again, laughed so hard, I spat coffee all over my laptop. Thanks!

Now you can fully appreciate Fubars post.

Eclipse we do care and want you to succeed. For me it's just a given-I can't have a drink, not one. I wish this was not the case. But, thats the stark reality...and once I truly embraced that fact I was more comfortable with my decision to become and stay sober.

Take care and use what you need from this forum and disregard what does not work for you.

Astro

OK I'll be the bad guy and give you what you asked for....

Lol. Now that we've got that out of the way......

I hit the point in my disease where it came down to a simple decision. Life with alcohol, or life without. There couldn't be any in-between because it wasn't working. The Big Book of AA says it like this.....

We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn’t happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.

As Anna said, abstinence is only the beginning of recovery. Alcohol was a symptom of my disease. I needed a program and a plan for my recovery to help me with the rest.

TryingSoHard

Eclipse,

I've been giving you the support in a positive manner. I'll be happy to swap over to the tough love aspect if it will help you! I can't be MEAN to you, so you don't have to worry about that LOL! But I CAN straight-talk you and tell it like it is if that is what you need to start hearing. I am your friend and I love you and I want to see you kick this thing! I KNOW you can do it. NO doubt in my mind.

So you better start texting me again when you're thinking about buying or opening or drinking that wine!!

Love ya, girlie.
TSH

Dee74

hey Eclipse - I think Astro and Anna are onto it.

You been here a while now - stopping drinking is great, but staying stopped requires something else...as you saw last night, alcoholics can easily find themselves drinking for no reason....I know I did.

What are you going to do this time.... besides not drinking...to find that 'something else' that's gonna make this time stick? Any ideas?

D

Eclipse

Thanks for the posts...I know that you know that I know what I have to do!

KenL

C,

Did the effect of the letter you found wear off? Is it still in your purse? Come on girl, you can do this thing. Get back up, dust off and keep ridin' the roller coaster of sobriety. Don't let this happen again now OK?

I luv ya. I'll always be here for you!!

Ken

TryingSoHard

Ken brings up a VERY good point. Go get that letter and read it again.

*hugs*
Love,
TSH

yeahgr8

Y'know i never met an alcoholic who was not still thinking that they would try and quit, i knew this one guy Richard who would always be saying that he needs to stop etcetc and he drank himself literally to death, wasnt there on the night but he got drunk as usual went and sat on his bed and he coughed himself so hard that something burst...would like to say as least it was quick but that is BS as he had been drinking himself to death for 30 years+

I think Astro says it, if you lucky enough you do reach a point where you accept completely (don't get me wrong this isn't like a big awakening it is just logical thought process after x years of trying to control it IMO) that you cant have one drink and nothing YOU do will control your drinking, then after a time life is so **** and totally unmanageable that you go and find help, thats what happened for me anyway, or you accept it do nothing about it and end up in the loony farm or dead i guess.

All About Love

sounds like you give yaself enuff kix up the butt babe, so im going to stick with the encouragement
you drink even though you dont want to... you do it against your own will
this is part of the insanity that is addiction, you cant do it alone is the best advice i can give, dont be to quick to say you are the only one not geting it...i had close to 6months up & frikkin blew it the other day 10days ago...old habits die hard all you can do is be honest hun & im sure alot of people here there an everywhere"blow it" & are not honest about it, so more power to u an me an all of us honesty peepz.

dont quit trying mate cos one day you will get it
not in your time in the time its meant to take for your journey