Mysterious recurring disease
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 13
Mysterious recurring disease
My longest sobriety was 10 months. That ended about 6 months ago. Since then I have tried to live with a little "happiness" at a time until once again I am in the "circle of lie." I have come clean with my wife several times with the promise that I will go to meetings but always rationalized them into not being to go (other things are more important). She was understanding until tonight. She suspected me drinking and leaned down to give me a kiss(smell).
She asked and I was truthfull. I took my life and family for granted. They would be there forever. A little "fun" shouldn't have affected that but once the drug was in my body, the withdrawl effects made sure that I contunued to make me "normal."
As I have alcohol in me right now I will not be going to an AA meeting this evening. I just hope I have enough spiritualness to get from work to home to meeting without the usual stop at the store.
She asked and I was truthfull. I took my life and family for granted. They would be there forever. A little "fun" shouldn't have affected that but once the drug was in my body, the withdrawl effects made sure that I contunued to make me "normal."
As I have alcohol in me right now I will not be going to an AA meeting this evening. I just hope I have enough spiritualness to get from work to home to meeting without the usual stop at the store.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome back Den.
10 months is a long time. I never made more than 4 myself. All of the times I got sober were because of the old threat. If you don't quit then you are out of here.
This time admittadly started the same but now I am doing it for me. It took me 40 years to realize that I had become something I don't want to be. I am doing it on my own with the help of all the good people here at SR.
I hope that you think it through and get to the point when you want to do it for yourself. That is half the battle. Good luck.
You know you can do it as you have done it before.
10 months is a long time. I never made more than 4 myself. All of the times I got sober were because of the old threat. If you don't quit then you are out of here.
This time admittadly started the same but now I am doing it for me. It took me 40 years to realize that I had become something I don't want to be. I am doing it on my own with the help of all the good people here at SR.
I hope that you think it through and get to the point when you want to do it for yourself. That is half the battle. Good luck.
You know you can do it as you have done it before.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Sounds like you have finally realized just how much you have to loose. Let tomorrow be the beginning for you. Ok, do you have a Meeting schedule or know where you can go to a Meeting tomorrow after work? Is it possible to go straight from work? (Just let your wife know this is where you are going so she doesn't think you are out drinking) Whenever you get to the Meeting, as you walk in the door from the Meeting, imagine her smile when you walk in the door and go to her for a kiss and hug, without alcohol on your breath. I imagine her smile will brighten your evening.
Stick around, keep posting and sharing. We're here, we've been where you are and we'll continue to be here for you.
Hang in there,
Judy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Attica, MI
Posts: 465
Hard decision to make Den13, every tough one we make in the right direction makes it not as tough the next time. You got the fight in you man...
Whiz right by the store and go home or to a meeting or come here..to SR....the hard work is worth the pain.
God bless ya
Whiz right by the store and go home or to a meeting or come here..to SR....the hard work is worth the pain.
God bless ya
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