Iriss

I am on day 4 and I feel so alive, but last night was so hard, friday night and some people can not understand why I wanna get sober, I appear to be frightening them.... Is it so bad that I just dont want to drink. Granted I am quieter, I think before I speak, am calm and just trying to get through each day peacefully. I dont want to hear how I should try this or try that or just cut back, I even got told I was lost, when I have never felt more found.... Thanks for listening and if anyone has any tips I would really appreciate them.... Thanks x

Rusty Zipper

Tip

perhaps will find new friends that wont say your lost iriss...

believe me, your on your way to being found!

Fubarcdn

THis is always a tough one but your drinking friends would rather have you drinking because people are more comfortable with others that are doing the same thing.
Remember when you were a drinker? Did you not prefer to be around other people that were drinking also?
The only soluton unfortunately may be to find like minded people to associate with.

dave47

Iriss, I found that proper friends adjust and after a while it won't make any difference to them. Some people do seem to feel threatened, maybe it's a backhanded compliment as they like you as they see you, not as you want to be.
Initially I found that some would laugh and say it wouldn't last, with time they will respect you more if they know that you really mean it and are putting it into practice.
Sounds like you are doing the right things, keep strong and best wishes.

Iriss

Thanks so much, if isnt hard enough on its own.. It's good to know I am not on my own with this... Thanks you so much for your support and best wishes to you...

citychick

Possibly your sobriety is making your friends question their own drinking habits..possibly.

Good for you Iriss!

yonanjan

Go where you are comfortable.....like a meeting maybe....go where "people who are not using and have found a new way of life". Day 4 is still too early to be around those who are using.
Its hard to leave old friends behind in order to get clean, because I know for me a big part of my past involved them. I still love them, and if I stay in the rooms long enough hopefully they will find their way there. But I feel they are uncomfortable around me. In the beginning I use to be judgemental, thinking I was better than because I was clean. But by being in the program long enough I have learned that "but for the grace of God, there go I". I'm sure I had alot to do with the uneasiness between my old friends because of my better than thou attitude. I love my old friends very much. I do not want them to die. I would like them to know that recovery is the best drug I have ever taken.....but it's attraction rather than promotion. I don't go around them because it is what is suggested, and if there is one thing that I have total faith in....it is the program of recovery.....I don't question the program anymore..It has worked in too many lives.

Seren

I agree with citychick.....your new habits are making your friends question their own...they might very well be afraid!

Keep up the great work!

Hugs, HG

Iriss

Hi Thanks to you all, I understand the feeling of 'holier that thou' and I have adopted that attitude in past attemps... And obvioulsey failed, I completeley understand how important it is not to judge others for their habits, but to only attempt to help mysef.. and others if they ask, I would never look down on those close to me for drinking, and hey if it does not cause a problem for them then thats great, but for me it was trouble. I just wish they would not offer advice unless I asked for it... Anyway once again thank you all, and I wish you a lovely day x

flutter

After 50 ish days of sobriety, I can say that I no longer talk to any of the friends I had when I was drinking. They have no interest in me anymore.. and that is OK, if alcohol was our only bond, so be it. I have made better friends without the poison. Drinking buddies are just that.. they aren't friends.

seemethrough

I would rather be considered weird if it means being sober than acting like an a** because I am drunk!

Iriss

Thanks so much, and flutter if they are your dogs they are so beautiful... I too have two big dogs (Boxers)..... thanks

James13

Getting sober for me is a time to look at reality. Unfortunately, some people won't accept my sobriety (therefore, not accepting me), some won't understand getting sober, and some will support me 100%.

Being sober is an opportunity to see what positivity you need in your life and what negativity you don't need in your life.

yeahgr8

It does make people that are drinking uncomfortable when there is someone not drinking in a group of friends in a bar, i can remember saying many a time why is he not drinking and then a pssshhh to whatever reason there was, guess i am that person now hehe which is luvly jubly!!!!

As for the people i know who live for a friday and could not imagine going without their special night out i could never understand them when i was drinking so i have little hope sober, i mean whats wrong with all the other nights of the week?!

C23

Iriss, I had a friend of mine tell me that they didnt invite me to events because they thought it would be too "hard" for me to not drink. I laughed at them and said I thought it would be great to watch them make fools of themselves. People will feel weird because you and all of us are going against the grain. We are defying what is considered the social norm. I for one believe most people are jealous that we have overcome.

As I have posted before and have in my signature, "Amazing Grace" has so much more meaning to me now that I am sober. I listen to it at least once a day and thank God for having my eyes opened to what real life is all about.

Chris