Workplace Negativity
Moving out of Limbo
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Today
Posts: 343
Workplace Negativity
I haven't posted much recently, so I just thought I would come here to vent since it is a much better option than going a negative route or doing something unproductive to my recovery.
In short, work has been testing my patience lately. Not the job- the company has been great to me for the 9 years I have been with them, they have worked around my school schedule (fine arts takes a lot of time) and I am pretty happy overall with the job situation. And I am grateful for the fact I have a job in the first place, especially when I look around and see people losing their jobs everywhere around me.
I have been getting somewhat impatient with the people I work with lately. I am way better than I used to be, but some things about some of my co-workers I am tiring of being around. At work, I can't just seperate from negativity like I can anywhere else.
Some who work in an office or close quarters may be able to relate to co-workers constantly complaining about their job and others and talking behind other people's backs. I am like, "Wow, our job isn't really that hard!" And then I see people talk behind backs and then talk about the other person behind the back, playing both sides. And many of these people always seem put out to help anyone. I really need to deal with this somehow. I have to do my part to NOT be a part of it.
I think a big part of it is that I have been spending more and more time around positive people, in recovery and not in recovery. Everywhere from my meditation group to AA people to other artists and such. Understanding, compassionate, happy people. Many love what they do. I think my co-worker experience heavily contrasts with this positivity, which is why I feel like I'm going to blow a fuse when I am around them.
I don't want to critique them, but learn how to cope with it. By all means, I am far from perfect, and can be negative sometimes. But wow. Does anyone have this problem? Trying to grow and still around negativity?
In short, work has been testing my patience lately. Not the job- the company has been great to me for the 9 years I have been with them, they have worked around my school schedule (fine arts takes a lot of time) and I am pretty happy overall with the job situation. And I am grateful for the fact I have a job in the first place, especially when I look around and see people losing their jobs everywhere around me.
I have been getting somewhat impatient with the people I work with lately. I am way better than I used to be, but some things about some of my co-workers I am tiring of being around. At work, I can't just seperate from negativity like I can anywhere else.
Some who work in an office or close quarters may be able to relate to co-workers constantly complaining about their job and others and talking behind other people's backs. I am like, "Wow, our job isn't really that hard!" And then I see people talk behind backs and then talk about the other person behind the back, playing both sides. And many of these people always seem put out to help anyone. I really need to deal with this somehow. I have to do my part to NOT be a part of it.
I think a big part of it is that I have been spending more and more time around positive people, in recovery and not in recovery. Everywhere from my meditation group to AA people to other artists and such. Understanding, compassionate, happy people. Many love what they do. I think my co-worker experience heavily contrasts with this positivity, which is why I feel like I'm going to blow a fuse when I am around them.
I don't want to critique them, but learn how to cope with it. By all means, I am far from perfect, and can be negative sometimes. But wow. Does anyone have this problem? Trying to grow and still around negativity?
Retired Pro Drunk
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
I totally feel you. It's called having a job.
I've been with the same company almost 15 years - same department almost 10.
For some people, no matter what they do, they'll never be happy. It's just the way they are. And there are times when this gets to me too. I try to remind myself that, in a way, these people are sick - spiritual sickness. Once I think of it that way, I have a little more compassion for them.
I've been with the same company almost 15 years - same department almost 10.
For some people, no matter what they do, they'll never be happy. It's just the way they are. And there are times when this gets to me too. I try to remind myself that, in a way, these people are sick - spiritual sickness. Once I think of it that way, I have a little more compassion for them.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Attica, MI
Posts: 465
Ya James.
I work in the beleagured auto industry....maybe a different type of negativity but, much of it here.
This group blaming the other, this guy blaming that guy, and so on. It seems as though I hear a bunch of backstabbing and blame but no solutions, and in my industry, do you think the competition in other cultures do this? I'm not positive, but I think not.
How about some positive, constructive conversation between all folks that are working toward a common goal? I have tried recently to be honest.... gentle....but honest, like I try to do here on this forum. If someone starts being a negative 'nellie' backstabber, I have tried hard to turn the conversation and help them to see something constructive in their rant.
Good topic, we spend alot of time with the folks we work with...and they can be an influence on us, especially when we're vulnerable....like trying to recover.
I work in the beleagured auto industry....maybe a different type of negativity but, much of it here.
This group blaming the other, this guy blaming that guy, and so on. It seems as though I hear a bunch of backstabbing and blame but no solutions, and in my industry, do you think the competition in other cultures do this? I'm not positive, but I think not.
How about some positive, constructive conversation between all folks that are working toward a common goal? I have tried recently to be honest.... gentle....but honest, like I try to do here on this forum. If someone starts being a negative 'nellie' backstabber, I have tried hard to turn the conversation and help them to see something constructive in their rant.
Good topic, we spend alot of time with the folks we work with...and they can be an influence on us, especially when we're vulnerable....like trying to recover.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
i completely relate to that james.
The contrast between the people i like to spend time with.. and some of the people i work with is huge..
There are a certain few that whinge....whin.....moan....backstab and gossip.
Human nature i guess... there is always gonna be that "crew"
I got a look of complete contempt when i say to one......"go find another job then"......it just dont figure to me....if its that bad........leave.
Lucky i work mostly on my own so i get the chance to shut the ddor on it.
I also love my job.....if your like me..being around it too long puts me in a miserable space...trucker
The contrast between the people i like to spend time with.. and some of the people i work with is huge..
There are a certain few that whinge....whin.....moan....backstab and gossip.
Human nature i guess... there is always gonna be that "crew"
I got a look of complete contempt when i say to one......"go find another job then"......it just dont figure to me....if its that bad........leave.
Lucky i work mostly on my own so i get the chance to shut the ddor on it.
I also love my job.....if your like me..being around it too long puts me in a miserable space...trucker
Moving out of Limbo
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Today
Posts: 343
justanother, yeah i think you are right. I need to just be there for them and have compassion. I'm not helping myself or them by isolating.
masseyman, yes, it's easy to get sucked into the negativity even without keeping it going. Thanks.
masseyman, yes, it's easy to get sucked into the negativity even without keeping it going. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 396
James,
I work in a very negative atmosphere, in fact, my therapist has told me it was a toxic environment for me. But like you, I'm thankful to be working. We're not allowed to talk to coworkers except for breaks, so people spend their breaks complaining. It took me a while to find people to sit with who can actually laugh about it. I took breaks in my car for the longest time.
I work in a very negative atmosphere, in fact, my therapist has told me it was a toxic environment for me. But like you, I'm thankful to be working. We're not allowed to talk to coworkers except for breaks, so people spend their breaks complaining. It took me a while to find people to sit with who can actually laugh about it. I took breaks in my car for the longest time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Smithfield, VA
Posts: 521
At the moment I'm not working due to living so far out of town in the country and lack of transportation, but in previous experiences (what few they may be given I'm only 24 and quite young) such as the Army, I have seen and been through a lot of the same thing. I've never knew how to deal with it myself other than try to keep my mouth shut and stay to myself and hope I can ignore it. So I can relate to this all, and it's nice to see all the different opinions/responses on the matter. This thread has been a help to me.
Wes
Wes
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MN
Posts: 528
I can't really relate to the work thing as I was unemployed for 3 months & just started working this week.
But I can relate to trying to be a better person & make positive changes in your life & having many people around you that continue to make poor choices & even make comments about how I am becoming a different person. I have even had people say "they are worried about me because I am not happy & fun anymore"
Which is not the case, I am not drunk any more & acting like a 15 yr old!
I hope you can find a balance with your work & where you need to be in your life.
Good Luck Hon!
But I can relate to trying to be a better person & make positive changes in your life & having many people around you that continue to make poor choices & even make comments about how I am becoming a different person. I have even had people say "they are worried about me because I am not happy & fun anymore"
Which is not the case, I am not drunk any more & acting like a 15 yr old!
I hope you can find a balance with your work & where you need to be in your life.
Good Luck Hon!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I can relate totally! I think this is one of those things that cannot be changed if you work in an office with the same people everyday. The only way out is to start your own business or take short term contracts. I have always been a contractor and this is my first permenent role for years, I have been there 9 months and it is like a prison sentence for me, having to do mundane day to day crap that really brings no value to the company whatsoever.
It is hilarious to watch people waste so much time during the day and bitch constantly, as a contractor you get paid 4 times as much money and work 8 hours, not 4 in between lunch, coffee breaks, chats at reception, water cooler etc. But it works for the majority and has to be that way otherwise everyone would be a boss lol
Some jobs you need to be in office, like my friend who is head of data input, they have constant data all day but most jobs IMO could be done in 15hrs not 40!!!!!!!
Thanks for the post james, lovely to have a moan with you:-)
It is hilarious to watch people waste so much time during the day and bitch constantly, as a contractor you get paid 4 times as much money and work 8 hours, not 4 in between lunch, coffee breaks, chats at reception, water cooler etc. But it works for the majority and has to be that way otherwise everyone would be a boss lol
Some jobs you need to be in office, like my friend who is head of data input, they have constant data all day but most jobs IMO could be done in 15hrs not 40!!!!!!!
Thanks for the post james, lovely to have a moan with you:-)
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
My job is new(3.5 months), and so far I love everyone there, but I haven't ventured outside to find new people to replace the ones I partied with. So I guess my input may not help, but be thankful you at least are experiencing these new people in your life, I should try it some time!!
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