One year! It's Official! Thank you!
mle-sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
One year! It's Official! Thank you!
Feb 2 was my 1 year sobriety date.
A year ago, my whole life had distintigrated into an awful, horrible, muddy mess. My husband was angry and distant - not trusting anything I said or did. My children were worried and constantly studying me for signs of drinking. My parents were filled with despair. I kept ending up in the hospital after horrible incidents involving alcohol.
I felt overwhelmed with shame and hopelessness. I knew that I'd made mistakes that I couldn't take away. And most of all, I didn't believe that I was capable of changing. I felt as if my body could, at any moment, take control and steer myself into a bar or a liquor store. I didn't trust myself. I didn't know who I was without alcohol. I had been drinking alcoholically since I was 14. I was terrified.
Sobriety happened to me. It's not something I did. It must have been the prayers of my family that dropped me, one evening, to my knees and made me call out for God's help. The prayers of my family and the enormity of my own shame. After more than 20 years of drinking, I could no longer pretend. Everything in my life revolved around alcohol. And I was hiding, cowering, in constant fear of being discovered.
Until finally, I surrendered. I just gave up. I let go. And I begged God for help. And a week later I entered an outpatient program at the hospital. And I walked into my first AA meeting. And I found SR!
Thank God. I just want to say, thank you to SR. And thank you to AA. Thank you to my outpatient program. And thank you to God.
I do not feel the need to drink anymore. That's been taken away. I think about it sometimes. Especially under stress. But it's not the same all-consuming need.
And my husband looks at me with trust and love. My children have let go of their wariness. My parents tell me how grateful they are for my recovery.
One of the best things about celebrating a year of sobriety is knowing that I have given my family a gift that really matters to them.
Thank you!
A year ago, my whole life had distintigrated into an awful, horrible, muddy mess. My husband was angry and distant - not trusting anything I said or did. My children were worried and constantly studying me for signs of drinking. My parents were filled with despair. I kept ending up in the hospital after horrible incidents involving alcohol.
I felt overwhelmed with shame and hopelessness. I knew that I'd made mistakes that I couldn't take away. And most of all, I didn't believe that I was capable of changing. I felt as if my body could, at any moment, take control and steer myself into a bar or a liquor store. I didn't trust myself. I didn't know who I was without alcohol. I had been drinking alcoholically since I was 14. I was terrified.
Sobriety happened to me. It's not something I did. It must have been the prayers of my family that dropped me, one evening, to my knees and made me call out for God's help. The prayers of my family and the enormity of my own shame. After more than 20 years of drinking, I could no longer pretend. Everything in my life revolved around alcohol. And I was hiding, cowering, in constant fear of being discovered.
Until finally, I surrendered. I just gave up. I let go. And I begged God for help. And a week later I entered an outpatient program at the hospital. And I walked into my first AA meeting. And I found SR!
Thank God. I just want to say, thank you to SR. And thank you to AA. Thank you to my outpatient program. And thank you to God.
I do not feel the need to drink anymore. That's been taken away. I think about it sometimes. Especially under stress. But it's not the same all-consuming need.
And my husband looks at me with trust and love. My children have let go of their wariness. My parents tell me how grateful they are for my recovery.
One of the best things about celebrating a year of sobriety is knowing that I have given my family a gift that really matters to them.
Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 23
"One of the best things about celebrating a year of sobriety is knowing that I have given my family a gift that really matters to them."
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE GIFT TO YOURSELF TOO AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE GIFT TO YOURSELF TOO AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!
6
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MN
Posts: 528
Oh wow, what a wonderful powerful story!
And boy did I need to read this, & now!
Thank you!!! I NEED to remind myself that I am not just doing this just for me, I have so many people counting on me to better myself, my life.
Thank you again for sharing & you are a true inspiration!!
And boy did I need to read this, & now!
Thank you!!! I NEED to remind myself that I am not just doing this just for me, I have so many people counting on me to better myself, my life.
Thank you again for sharing & you are a true inspiration!!
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
CONGRATULATIONS ON ONE YEAR!
What a touching and heartfelt thread. You sure found the words to describe the desperation that you had when you surrendered, I could totally identify with everything you described so perfectly.
Isn't this life so incredible?
Good job on your first year in your new life!
Hugs,
Judy
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