love obsession / limerence.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1
love obsession / limerence.
hi everyone,
i joined after clicking the first entry under google for "help with love obsession" - an extremely gripping post by a member here on this forum. his account matched almost entirely with my experiences and i'm desperate need of help for my own addiction concerning this. i'm not entirely sure if this is the place i should be for this, but i like the atmosphere here and everyone seems to be very warm & helpful.
since i was 15 i have been obsessed with certain men who have come into my life. i met my first partner at 15 on the internet who was 7 years older than me and emotionally abusive. i did not realize this at the time but i grew dependant on him under the belief i wasn't good enough for anyone else. after this i met a man who treated me like a queen and helped my confidence enormously. 3 years on i felt our relationship going sour due to differences in our personalities and i now have an attachment to a man the same age as me (21) with a very similar character yet i still feel love for the other man. this confusion had lead to simultaneous affairs (with these two men), extreme confusion and self-hatred due to my actions. i still claim i love these two men more than anything else in my life despite those actions.
all through this i have been honest about my adultery to both of them and (by some miracle) they both still want me in their life. i know i will lose them both because i am not good enough and i have told them they deserve better than me: someone who has caused this awful catastrophe. having said this, i cannot bring myself to stop thinking about them and it's driving me insane. i don't think of both of them at the same time, but i have never been this confused in my life and the sense of myself being unfaithful, unloyal and corrupt continues to erode me. i don't know what to do.
it's currently half 3 am and i'm obsessing over my email inbox, constantly refreshing the page to see if he has sent me anything (i do this every night in bed for hours and hours until i eventually fall asleep with my hand still on the keys). i can't believe what i'm doing and i feel like a terrible person. so much of this feels like i am attention-seeking and as though i am desperate for admiration from this man. i know i should dedicate myself to other things but it feels impossible.
i joined after clicking the first entry under google for "help with love obsession" - an extremely gripping post by a member here on this forum. his account matched almost entirely with my experiences and i'm desperate need of help for my own addiction concerning this. i'm not entirely sure if this is the place i should be for this, but i like the atmosphere here and everyone seems to be very warm & helpful.
since i was 15 i have been obsessed with certain men who have come into my life. i met my first partner at 15 on the internet who was 7 years older than me and emotionally abusive. i did not realize this at the time but i grew dependant on him under the belief i wasn't good enough for anyone else. after this i met a man who treated me like a queen and helped my confidence enormously. 3 years on i felt our relationship going sour due to differences in our personalities and i now have an attachment to a man the same age as me (21) with a very similar character yet i still feel love for the other man. this confusion had lead to simultaneous affairs (with these two men), extreme confusion and self-hatred due to my actions. i still claim i love these two men more than anything else in my life despite those actions.
all through this i have been honest about my adultery to both of them and (by some miracle) they both still want me in their life. i know i will lose them both because i am not good enough and i have told them they deserve better than me: someone who has caused this awful catastrophe. having said this, i cannot bring myself to stop thinking about them and it's driving me insane. i don't think of both of them at the same time, but i have never been this confused in my life and the sense of myself being unfaithful, unloyal and corrupt continues to erode me. i don't know what to do.
it's currently half 3 am and i'm obsessing over my email inbox, constantly refreshing the page to see if he has sent me anything (i do this every night in bed for hours and hours until i eventually fall asleep with my hand still on the keys). i can't believe what i'm doing and i feel like a terrible person. so much of this feels like i am attention-seeking and as though i am desperate for admiration from this man. i know i should dedicate myself to other things but it feels impossible.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MN
Posts: 528
I wanted to say welcome.
I will be honest I know little about love obession. Heck, I've been married for 15 years so you can figure that out. J/K
But honestly I know what its like to have "something" have a hold over you. To feel helpless over an addiction.
I hope you can find others here that have wisedom & experience with this.
Welcome to SR, hope you stay & continue to post, and read!
I will be honest I know little about love obession. Heck, I've been married for 15 years so you can figure that out. J/K
But honestly I know what its like to have "something" have a hold over you. To feel helpless over an addiction.
I hope you can find others here that have wisedom & experience with this.
Welcome to SR, hope you stay & continue to post, and read!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 162
Welcome iceflower... I probably shouldnt say anything at all, but I am going to. I was in constant relationships from the time I started dating at a young age, until I was going through a divorce at the age of 23. The best thing I ever did for myself was spent a least a year single, just finding myself, being independant. I then dated causually for a while. And now this March, I will be celebrating my 11 year wedding aniversary.
I know this is not helping you now, and it is not helping the confusion and letting go of the obsession, I wish I could help with that, but somewhere in your story, I saw a part of my young self and wanted to share with you.
Take care, I hope you find some answers.
I know this is not helping you now, and it is not helping the confusion and letting go of the obsession, I wish I could help with that, but somewhere in your story, I saw a part of my young self and wanted to share with you.
Take care, I hope you find some answers.
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