llenroc66

I'm pissed now. I typed the whole story ten seconds ago and gone... Believe it or not, this is the shortened one. At least I add paragraph breaks...

Long Story Short - I am a hard liquor daily drinker. Last week I felt like I was going to pass out on my way into the school parking lot. I said, "BS" and went to the hospital. My colleagues covered for me several days.

I am type 2 diabetic and high BP & pulse in addition to addiction. I was honest about it all. They leveled me out and now I have a real doctor. The biggest BS is I have meds now and I still drank when released. Today without a hangover I had the best lesson in months. Kids actually listened!

There is an AA meeting about 1 mile from my home, but it looks either infested or condemned (there is duct tape on the door window). Is that what I need to do to make it more than 2 days? I'll hang out with smokers and coffee people. It seems like there may be another AA way...

:I don't coach again until March.

My last period of the day I found myself thinking, "What the hell am I doing tonight? Would you all agree that finding that or another meeting is the only solution? I hate driving at night b/c my bp makes my vision and anxiety poor/increased.

Anyway, I am out there. My best friends (coaches) know about both. My school nurse (awesome) and principal know. My junior students in class are glad I am back and wanted to know if I had a heart attack. I told them that I just had a, "severe allergic reaction...". They wrote me cards and hugs. Maybe I'm too easy on them...!

Trying to bring back the banana.

coffeenut

Hey, coffee people are Good People!

Do whatever you need to keep yourself sober. No excuses.

Welcome to SR. One thing you can do, is to keep reading and posting. Lots of help here.

Katie09

Welcome! For me, I have found that posting here has been more helpful for me than anything else this week. This is a wonderful place to be.

doorknob

Welcome to SR, Llenroc! This website is also my main support.

serenityqueen

About the duct taped windows, don't judge a book by it's cover. I've been to many meetings over the years and some of the best ones took place in buildings that sound like the one you described.

It sounds like you feel like because you admitted you have a problem, things should be a little more clear to you. That's the farthest thing from the truth unfortunately. This is naturally going to be a very confusing time. That's one of the reasons there's the expression, "Keep it Simple."

How'd you find out about the one meeting? From the people at the hospital? Google AA Meetings, find other ones in your area, then mapquest your way there.

I hope you'll continue to share with us. For some reason, it seems like when people first join SR, post get lost in space when you hit the submit reply button. I know I spent a long, long time putting my lifestory out there only to loose it too. Try this, before hitting submit reply, save it in word. That way if it disappears again, you can do a quick copy and paste.

God Bless,
Judy

Fubarcdn

Welcome and you can do this. This forum is my only form of support like some of the others. I come here most of the day and read and post. You will soon feel the genuine concern for yourself and others if you stick around. Although I haven't done it yet you may want to join in the chat room too. Good luck.

kels

I agree with Katie09 and Fubarcdn. I'm using the forum - and it is AMAZINGLY helpful. I make a point of spending 15 minutes at least 3x a day. I have yet to have a day when i am checking in 3x a day that I drink. I stopped using the forum in early Jan and fell off the wagon, but I'm back, and at day 3. Checking in here is a HUGE priority for me. Posting and reading. It is *so* powerful for me to know I am not alone in this struggle.

For a new perspective on drinking, you might want to read Rational Recovery from alcoholism, drug addiction, addiction treatment, recovery group disorder, non AA, non 12-step, cocaine, heroin, sex addiction. Choose RECOVER NOW on the left side of the screen.

They are anti-AA, which is a drag - but the way the frame your addiction will give you a new, very powerful perspective. You are stronger than your addiction.

Glad to see you here!

weekendbinger

Welcome to SR!!! So glad you are here and sharing your story. We want to help you through this. Stay sober today and keep posting!

:ghug3

ToABetterMe

Good for you for getting out, and admitting. It was too hard for me to go to a DR & admit it.

I'm glad your work supports you.. Now you have to support you. Which means do what you do what you have to. I have found great comfort here. When I feel weak, or need support. There are some people I feel a real connection with as we are going down the road together, and I feel if one of us trips the other will be there to keep un on path.

You just need to find something that eveyday you will know that people care!

We care here, this is a good start!

God Bless!

Fubarcdn

Kels. Thanks for that. I will remember to keep coming every day. It is easy to get complacent and I guess coming here helps us to keep things right.

masseyman

Welcome.

I don't know much about AA as I have never been before, some others here know more about it and have said mostly positive things.

For my first week I came here at night, it helped me thru my drinking time in the evening. This is my only support system outside of my wife at least for now.

Be strong and live my friend.