jsml1234

Strong work Katie!

IO Storm

Woo Hoo!

yeahgr8

That sucks for you Katie, good for your GF though hehe cool!

Took me a while to find the right therapist, but you can go to another group right? Fortunately there are a lot of ignorant (my pet name for them is 'f****** idiots') people out there in all professions, i would guesstimate that at least once a month, at work, i take an individual aside and tell them that they should never say what they just said ever again and certainly not in public, and if they do please do not stand next to me whilst saying it...and these guys have specific work degrees etc...I say fortunately because it allows us who aren't ignorant to get promoted in our work fields quicker!

Don't get down, don't go off therapy from this bad experience and congrats on the one week what a great start!

nickishine

Katie, Katie, Katie....

You are such a wonderfully great gal! You go girl on letting your feelings flow to us and getting all that *#-* out! Wow!... you have WAY more strength than you know!

What an experience with the "depression support group".... The word "Warped" comes to mind, big time! And to give God such disrespect in that church, etc... makes me sick to my stomach! Please don't go back (it doesn't sound like you will)!! I encourage you, however, to check out AA or a Women's group with GF of yours -- Is she an alkie or druggie (excuse the slang - no disrespect intended)???

You did awesome! I'd be sooo PO'd too... and you didn't drink over it! I'm proud of you and here you'll be waking up in the morning - sober - and can look at yourself in the mirror and feel proud! I'm sooo proud of you! Congrats on Day 8!!! Day 9 is right around the corner!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Katie09

Nickishine, you are one of the sweetest people I've ever met online. Here you are, early on in sobriety, and you're always willing to help others and you are so positive!!!

You must be on day 12 now?? Good for you

Thanks so much for your thoughts. Yeah, I agree on the warped part. I don't know how strong I am, but I do recognize the strength of this forum and wonderful people like you.

nickishine

Katie,

That's so sweet to say!

I say it as I see it! I've often wondered why I have such deep empathy, sympathy and compassion for others... What I've realized is that I have gone through hell and back, then hell and back again a few 100 more times, and.. If I didn't fall myself - hard - over and over again, if I didn't lose a lot in life (my son and my sister who was murdered), if I hadn't had 100% rejection from my mother, if I.... if I.... if I........ then I wouldn't know such deep-seated emotions, and most importantly, the flip side which is HOPE and HEALING and RECOVERY! I've seen it manifest in sooo many peoples lives, it's mind-blowing and awesome. Where I've had the problem is believing it for ME! I've been my own worst enemy for years (especially since my little boy died) and am now finally
realizing the I AM DESERVING of all the wonderful things recovery from alcohol and sobriety have to give. You are too! I'm blessed to be alive, blessed to reach others, blessed to be reached by all of you! I just can't believe it's taken so long, but yay... at least I'm here and sober to experience it - sincerely!

nickishine

After posting this, I turned off my computer and got ready for bed. However, I feel "unsettled" at what I've written and like to clarify a couple of things because I think I expressed myself wrong.

First, I'd like to say by no means do I think I've had it rougher than any one of you out there! I'm no different, no better, no worse than any of you!..

I am an alcoholic! I suffer from the disease "dis-ease" of alcoholism and it has affected my life severely, as many of yours has been affected! I have dealt with the grief, pain, joys and successes in my life with alcohol and it has stiffled life and living out of my reach for many years now!

I know what it's like to try and fail! To give then to take! To be selfish and a control freak! To be a bi--- from hell! To have a bleeding heart for another! I think we all know about this! We all have our stories to tell! No one's uni-unique here! We are just one alcoholic/addict who helps another and can identify! We are all on the same playing field and not one is better than another... We are equals! If I gave any impression that I was worse off... and therefore.... more special?... or different in some way - I AM SORRY! That's truly not what I meant!

God bless you all! :ghug3

masseyman

Good job on your sobriety time Katie! Really sounds like you are working hard to get better. Your worth the work.

Don't let someone else get in your way, don't let another person put up a roadblock to what is important to you....you can't control that other gal. It sounds like she needs some help as well.

She doesn't control your emotions, don't let her.

Hang in there, your worth it.

Anna

Katie,

I had a handful of drs and two psychologists tell me I could not be depressed because I combed my hair and put on makeup. Seriously, that was their professional diagnosis.

As the others have said, this is on her, not you. Learn and move forward.

bodychek

I have found many, many opinionated people in recovery rooms and support groups that are more than willing to impose their personal beliefs on me without solicitation. I have even gotten to the point of resentment and anger towards them and had thought about drinking over it. It's funny that I will allow some other messed up person have that kind of power over me... just another example of my disease and why I need to constantly surrender to things out of my control and always remember "Principles, not Personalities"

Katie09

Thanks. My GF did take her on, which was a very good thing. This was a therapist I'd been to five times and paid her $500 - which I want back!!! After all of your posts, I realize it's on her. Still, when someone in a position of authority has the nerve to say alcoholics want to inflict pain and choose this, that is where I draw the line. I did speak up, although certainly not like my friend - who honestly was the most mentally healthy person in there and people started "helping" her at the end, lol.

Most important thing is I did not pick up a drink. I have a medical appt with my PCP today and I will be able to tell him I have not had a drink and he is going to be both surprised and happy. I am going to give him this website so he can share with other people in my/our situation.

least

Congrats on your sober time and good for you for not picking up after that so called 'therapy' session. YOu said you were referred to her group, can you tell the person who referred you how awful it was? Someone may want to get with her regarding her lack of compassion and empathy.

:ghug3

IO Storm

I had to laugh at that one Anna!

I had a Dr. appt. for a psych eval to determine disability benefits.

Not my doctor..the County bigwig..you know how that goes.

My daughters told me to dress shabby and muss my hair. (lol) Of course,

I dressed well. Wouldn't you know it? The jerk said I "presented well,

appeared not depressed, formed my words well, was attractive and took

care in my appearance." Benefits were denied. But I did get them based on

my own doctor's statements. Sheeesh.

My gosh, my diagnosis is bipolar, not catatonia.

It is sad..someday I would love to finish get my master's and be a therapist.

It seems the world could use some decent ones.

Fubarcdn

Storm wrote
It is sad..someday I would love to finish get my master's and be a therapist.

It seems the world could use some decent ones.
__________________
Make sure you don't become just like the rest of them. They could brainwash you. The association is a cult you know.

lovinmenow

When I was in outpatient rehab (3 times a week for 5 weeks) there were about 8-9 of us all sitting in a big circle. Everyone tells their story of how they are doing and then the therapist say "so, how did you feel about that?" What a bunch of crap. One person said he drinks so much he doesnt spend time with his kids. I said "hey, now that you are sober, why not spend the day with her. Take her to the movies or out to lunch" The therapist took me aside and told me that no one is allowed to give anyone advice in the group. I was pissed. I came there for advice, guidance. I was lost and needed someone to tell me what to do. I got nothing but a bunch of people sitting around bitching about their lives and a counselor who only says, "so how do you feel." Wow, how about "who's on first?"

AS a side note, this is the same therapist who...after I told her how great I have been feeling said, "don't worry, you will relapse." I was hurt and felt degraded and very lost and knew the only way to do this is by myself. So here I am all alone, all day and night (except for the dogs) trying to make sure I stay away from booze. I thank goodness that I have this board for support. You are all I got right now. Thanks for letting ramble on...

betreurt

Ack! I hate the "tell me how that makes you feel" kind of shrinks. What a load of cr*p. "Yes, I took Pych101 in college too, lady" is what I felt like telling the majority of the ones I had been to.

I had one guy press me in a treatment program during "group therapy" because I didn't talk enough. He pressed me and started asking all kinds of intense personal questions (based on my written questionnaire) and I wasn't feeling compfortable enough yet in the group to respond (I had been there three days). He kept pressing and getting more agressive, and I felt a panic attack coming on... I asked if I could get a glass of water, and he said "no". So I ended up walking out and gagging and puking in the bathroom adjacent to the room. I kinda wished I had stayed in the room and just puked on his ugly tweed blazer (seriously, how cliche can you get). I then came back out inot the group room and said I was outta there. They could send me a bill in the mail. he told my doctor I had problems with authority. My doctor never recommended the program again, and said "what a bunch of a**holes".

Ha!

sobrietyseeker

Congratulations Katie! Good for you. You know it's worth it. Just make sure you associate yourself with compassionate, sincere people only.

Katie09

Thanks, that's the plan, although at times it's hard to tell who is. Yesterday was very close. I got to the point I was thinking - oh, what could two drinks hurt? I have asthma and have been smoking too much and I KNOW red wine would help me breathe better (always has). Anyway, I need to cut back on the cigs or I am going to pick up a drink, I am afraid.

Katie (as she finishes her cigarette )

betreurt

NIce job on fighting the urge, though. If you could get through such a ridiculous and ugly situation without picking up, you kick a**.

As for the smokes, I feel for ya... I'm lighting up the last one in the pack as I type. Pft. I started smoking again when I quit drinking. Don't know what else to do with my hands to calm my nerves. Maybe I'll start picking my nose in public.

BackToSquareOne

I've found that a lot of therapists, doctors, psychiatrists and other medical professionals have a fairly low regard for the alcoholic/addict. If you read many of the Al-Anon forums you'll see that the alcoholic is usually portrayed as the bad guy, irresponsible, uncaring etc. etc.. Most advice given is a get tough type of approach with little sympathy. The focus seems to be on how the alcoholic is screwing up the lives of those around him, it is not uncommon to hear others advise the loved ones to disown or leave the alcoholic. Helping the alcoholic is often frowned upon and considered enabling by many.

I have very mixed feelings on the whole "tough love" approach, in some cases it may be the only way but many alcoholics/addicts have a lot of other mental health issues and a "one size fits all approach" is not always best. If you take a severely depressed alcoholic and pile a lot more grief on his plate with "tough love" you may just push them over the edge. Just my 2 cents worth.