kels

OK - I know, the only stupid question is the one you didn't ask. I have never been to an AA meeting - they have TONS of them in my area. What to expect? Any type of meeting better than others for a newbie? Can I go and not talk? I am fairly shy...

I'm not sure how my SO will feel about my attending a meeting - need to think through the whole thing. He works 11 hour days, and doesn't like me going out at night once he is home, but it would be the only time I could really go.

Any thoughts/insight appreciated.

hippychicky

I went to a meeting about 5 years ago and hated it. I didn't "get" all the lingo, didn't feel comfortable at all. This forum works alot better for me. But, maybe you should try at least 1 meeting and see for yourself...you may like it.

Mark75

Get sober for you. AA is a great program. Your husband needs to understand that sobriety must come first. Plus, AA does more than help you abstain, it helps you find happiness and serenity.

Please go to a meeting if you want to... your husband will just need to deal with it. My wife is not always happy with all my meetings, but she sees how much happier I am, that makes us happier....

Keep coming back

Mark

TryingSoHard

Based solely on my limited experience with AA:

* You can expect support, understanding, and comfort

* You do NOT have to speak. The only requirement is a desire to quit drinking. However, if you tell someone - ANYONE - there that it is your first AA meeting ever, they will make the meeting a "newcomer's meeting" just for you. It will explain a lot.

* There are lots of different types of meetings and groups, etc. You might have to go to more than one to find one you like, or that you feel "fits" you best. The only way to find out is to pick one and go.

Why would your SO feel negatively about you going to a meeting? Perhaps your SO would also benefit from attending either an Al-Anon meeting or an open AA meeting (open meetings can be attended by anyone, closed meetings can only be attended by people who wish to quit drinking).

Good luck.

TryingSoHard

Oh, be prepared. The meetings I went to opened with the Serenity Prayer and closed with the Lord's Prayer. You are under no obligation to participate, but some people don't realize these things are done as part of the meeting.

CAPTAINZING2000

will your s/o go with you to an open meeting?

I was fortunate, a lot of my friends were already there holding a spot for me

I've found that, no matter what town or state I've been in, people in AA are the best people in the world.

Look at the collection of people on this site from every part of the globe all coming in here to seek help and to give out help to those in need.


If, by chance, your s/o doesn't want to go, try a woman's meeting.

Nice thing about where you live is the fact that, you do have many meetings to choose from
Many of us in rural areas have to drive out of town for an hour in some cases to go to a meeting.

Best of luck on your road to recovery

least

I would try several meetings, as each group is different. I've been to meetings that didn't 'move' me at all, and others I really loved and felt at home in. Try several before you decide.

:ghug3

justanothrdrunk

Every meeting is wholly unique. There are no two meetings exactly alike. They vary widely on format, topic, expectations, personailties...

That's one of the more interesting aspects of AA - it's up to each group to decide for themselves how to run their meeting. There really aren't any guidelines when it comes to the mechanics of how to conduct a meeting.

There are some groups that offer newcomer meetings. I would start with one of those, if available. Other than that, I can't really offer anything else since I've no experience with the meetings in your area.

All I will offer is that, if you don't like the meeting, try another. You'll be surprised how different they can be from one meeting to the next.

Astro

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-about-aa.html

SoberforME

HAHHAAA

I didn't know that. I thought that was a divine coincidence that the first meeting I went to was a first step/beginners meeting.

LOL.

Mark75

There are some important differences in the beginners meeting around me...

They are more likely to begin a discussion meeting based on one of the first three steps.

They give chips for each month of sobriety.

Those people with more sobriety are more likely to talk about early sobriety issues and experience.

They are somewhat more likely to be closed. They are more likely to be step meetings.

I like them. Although my home group is not a beginners meeting - I really like my home group

Mark

TryingSoHard

Hmm. Well, if they didn't direct all their comments specifically at you then it could have been coincidence. Or perhaps you were at a beginners' group. Before the meeting started someone there asked me if I'd ever been to a meeting before (I was very obviously terrified to be there) and I said no, so when the meeting started this man told the chairperson that it was my first-ever meeting. The chairperson then said that the meeting would be a newcomer's meeting, directed specifically at me, and it would be the only time that people would speak directly TO me.

At meetings after that, one they got through the principles and such, they always asked if there was anyone present who had never been to an AA meeting before.

Maybe this was just the way that group did it. I don't have anything else to compare it to. But there was no step talk of any kind (other than reading the steps during the meeting introduction). The entire meeting was people talking directly to me telling me why it was so great that I was there and what I could expect.

CAPTAINZING2000

lol

yeah me too

Me an my ego

whiskerkissed

NA is my homegroup, but I supplement with AA to fill in the nights there is no home group meeting. I've been to 3 different NA fellowships and 3 different AA fellowships. They each do it a little differently (especially AA with the chips), but they all conduct themselves pretty close for the newcomers. They go through a brief story of where they were and what the program did for them.

You don't ever have to say anything - ever.

Some meetings are closed so your SO would not be able to attend all, but there are often open meetings where your SO can experience the way they work, too.

As far as that being the ONLY time anything is directed at any one person - I have never seen that. If someone comes in sharing a problem - even those that have been there for years - if someone has experience and share how a solution worked for them - it's often directed at that person. Our meetings are more personal I guess.

I don't participate much in the AA meetings, but from time to time I will share. I don't share the intimacy with the members in AA like I do my homegroup group in NA. I do get a lot out of some of those meetings, though. There's long-term recovery there and just worth going...

kels

Thank you to everyone who responded. I am rounding out day 2 sober here. I feel a bit anxious - this is my drinking hour - but I know that in another two hours the urge (the tug) will be gone.

So I have my camomile tea and I'm off to catch some TV...

Grateful to all here,
Kels

Isaiah

So true. If I took the first couple meetings I went to as a representation of the AA experience I would've turned tail and never gone back.

Fortunately, I had no say in going to AA, so I kept shopping. I now have two locations where I go with a fantastic, supportive group of people. That was vital for me to have because I am also a bit shy but with that crowd I don't mind talking about my woes.