KenL

I think that is very true. You are part of something bigger than yourself. You are helpin people everywhere. Just sit back now and let that sink in. Let the alcohol fly away. Since you're a minister I am not afraid to recommend the prayer to St. Michael.

Dear St. Michael the Archangel
Defend us in battle
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil
May God rebuke him we humbly pray
and do thou, Oh Prince of the Heavenly Host
Thrust Satan into Hell
And all other demons that roam throughout the world
seeking the destruction of souls.

Peace be with you minister.

masseyman

Thanks so much KenL.

Emotional here.

Thanks so much all.

least

:ghug3

Katie09

This alcohol issue, as I refer to it, is very private to me. Only a handful of people know I struggle with this (and all of you, but this is anonymous) and I think it's best. While I might feel better about telling everyone (well, actually I would not), I know it could backfire in a big way and I could live to regret it.

JMHO, but why not let your congregation see the transformation? I don't think they need to know.

masseyman

I think it's a good idea K09, I really do.

I think they will see newness in me at some point. I'm wondering if they'll notice I don't have the shakes when I turn the pages of my bible. That's one thing that I think about when it happens. "Do they notice this?" It runs thru my mind.

The congregation in my church are good people, really good everyday folks....but I think all of you are right. Making some sort of proclamation to them isn't necessary.

I just need to get better.

nickishine

Hi Jon! Thanks for your honesty and openness with us here!

I've drank alone for 3-4 years now! I used to be able to do the social thing, but just can't anymore. I've crossed the line with being able to "handle it" publicly and just make an a** out of myself everytime and/or black-out! I was a black-out drinker and drank 24/7 on my binges.

I've shut myself off from the world with my drink patterns and behaviors when I'd be boozing it up for days on end! I'm actually a pretty social person and to do a 360 and completely isolate myself has been a very lonely road for me.

I assume you have your faith, right? There's also another site "Christians in Recovery" if you'd like to check that out too! We carry a lot of guilt and shame over our drinking, don't we? It's sooo easy to forgive others, but not ourselves! You don't want to live this lie anymore and you are not by coming here and telling us what's up. You've shared this with your wife, your life partner and that is a huge plus. You've made this start in your life to address your closet drinking behaviors... I'm inspired by you! Living a lie rips me into shreds! In the light of Truth, I feel there is Hope. I pray that for you today!

Thank you again for your honesty and posting to us!

:ghug

IO Storm

Jon..

First and foremost, stay sober..one day at a time.

You came here for support...you've got it! :ghug3

We are anonymous..and I think you need this protection right now.

Getting sober is hard enough, without the stress of owning up to an entire

congregation..just yet.

True..some may know already, or have guessed at it..but Charity begins at home.

Staying sober for your sake, then for your family, with God's help ...

let this be the priority for now.

I would invite you to check out our Christians in Recovery, Spirituality and

Gratitude forums for an extra lift and support.

Take what you need..and leave the rest.

I do admire your courage in sharing..you have taken a huge step in getting well!

Keep posting, Jon.

Love, and heartfelt prayers going out, and up

Sher

masseyman

Nickishine thanks so much.

I feel the same way you do, it rips me to shreds too. I have woke up for years almost every frickin morning and told myself, usually in tears, "I have to stop this, its gonna kill me." I prayed that God would take the desire away for a long time. I realize I have work to do.

Thanks for the info on "Christians in Recovery", I may check that out.

Without sounding grossly critical of christians, being one, right now I want to hear what everyone has to say no particular beliefs required. I am just a man with a terrible weakness, I really enjoy all the different point of view here with no pre disposed notion of what people think I should hear or say.

Thanks again so much for your words. Kindred comes to mind.

KenL

That is an excellent point Jon.

Katie09

Yeah, the shakes. And you can't very well drink before a service to calm them, I am assuming. I am happy this thought of "do they see me shake?" will no longer run through your head.

IO Storm

Take what you need, and leave the rest Jon..like I said.

And please, pardon my bad manners!

Congrats on your sober time Jon.

CAPTAINZING2000

I'm guessing that feels like a load off your chest.

The admission of being powerless over alcohol!!!

We did a first step meeting last night. We were in all agreement about being powerless over the drink. However, our ego's wouldn't allow us to admit, our lives were unmanageable. I like to say, I was powerless over alcohol and my life had become miserable

We like to say around these parts where I'm from there is a difference between admitting and accepting. There are many a drunk at the bar willing to admit they have a problem drinking but, to accept and try and change that's another story.

The good news is, from what you wrote, you'll not have the peer pressure as many of us have by quitting drinking. The bad news, you were hiding while drinking like a lot of us drunks had to in our latter drinking to hide the fact we were drinking to excess!!

Rumor has it, this is the only step that, we can do 100%

I would like to add, don't feel guilt and remorse over the inability to contol your drinking. Drinking is an obsession to the mind and an allergy to the body.



I'm glad that, you're on here. You'll provide inspiration and hope to many people

masseyman

Yes, not much if any peer pressure. Can't remember the last time I was in a bar, although I don't make myself exclusive to 'hang' with tea totallers, I don't spend time with anyone that drinks on a regular basis. My best friend is my younger brother who has NEVER had one single drink in his 37 year old life. Strangly enough his two best friends are closet drunks.

Admitting and accepting....I'll chew on that one for a bit.

I think being inspired by others allows us to be an inspiration, heard that somewhere else before I think.

So many people have such a chest of knowledge and support, it is awe inspiring to me.

nickishine

Jon,

Certainly I'm the last one to preach to the choir!

For me... daily I am asking God to remove the obsession of alcohol from me...in my life! This has become somewhat of a mantra throughout the day and especially first thing in the morning. In the past I'd ask God for something, anything one time and then be bewildered as to why I'm not getting answered. Today I'm switching it up and really pressing in daily to my specific needs, ie: the obsession to be removed!.. sobriety, etc.!

:ghug3

allthingsarenew

Hey Jon,
This is my first post since finding the forum. Last Friday was my first day of sobriety. I'm also very active in my church and have been living a lie. Fortunately I have a wise wife who sought help from our pastor to help intervene on my behalf. He gave me this verse to encourage me this week. Thought I would pass it on.

Isaiah 61:7...Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, And instead of confusion they (you) shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double; Everlasting joy shall be theirs (yours). NKJV

Hope it helps...