Quitting drinking later in life is depressing
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,151
I'm in late 40s and have been sober 6 and a quarter years. I know AA isn't for everyone, but as it says (P.83 BB)".....We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it..."
Up until the last year or so of my drinking, I had it all materially...but did it make me happy? Did I stop drinking? In the last year I was drinking around the clock and hallucinating, living in squalor with bugs crawling around the place. Would I want any of it back? No Thanks.
I'm on "welfare", I have health problems I never had before but I am sober. I am true to myself, I have my self respect and I can help others through my program. I do my best to live in the here and now, the present, to change what I can rather than what I can't. Life ain't exactly a bunch of bananas for me right now but I don't regret the past and I don't regret getting sober aged 40. That was my journey and I am grateful to be clean and sober Today.
Up until the last year or so of my drinking, I had it all materially...but did it make me happy? Did I stop drinking? In the last year I was drinking around the clock and hallucinating, living in squalor with bugs crawling around the place. Would I want any of it back? No Thanks.
I'm on "welfare", I have health problems I never had before but I am sober. I am true to myself, I have my self respect and I can help others through my program. I do my best to live in the here and now, the present, to change what I can rather than what I can't. Life ain't exactly a bunch of bananas for me right now but I don't regret the past and I don't regret getting sober aged 40. That was my journey and I am grateful to be clean and sober Today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 263
Hmm. This might be an unpopular thing to admit, but I have it in mind that when I was in my late teens, homeless yet drinking a bottle of vodka a day (how??!), I knew that my drinking was sick and out of control, but figured I'd wait to sort it out because I had too much sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll to get through before I got old, and in some ways I wonder if maybe I was right.
But then again I'm now 38, with four children, not sober, out of work, and DAMN it's hard.
But then again I'm now 38, with four children, not sober, out of work, and DAMN it's hard.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 99
Hi Katie,
I know what you are going through. I will be 49 this week. It is day 1 for me again. I spent most of my day in bed, watched a couple of episodes of Judge Mathis. All I do is try to sleep because I feel that I have totally screwed up my life because of my drinking. I've lost 3 jobs because of it. I also have a good education(m.s. degree) and I just feel like it is too late for everything. When I don't drink, all those thoughts keep spinning around in my head. I might not make too much sense because my mind is so unorganized.
Also, I used to sew, knit and crochet, work out at the gym, run 10k's, ski, scuba dive and most important of all, remeber when my kids would want to show me off because they were proud of me and not avoid me because I'm a humiliating drunk.
I have been depressed ever since I was a child and I believe this was one of the reasons I started drinking(along with low self esteem and shyness). When I go to my psych all I hear is 'alcohol is a depressant' and I would think to myself, I'm depressed anyway whether I drink or not.
I think its about time to give sobriety a chance. I've lost alot....and I may never have it again but I want to become healthy. Exercise helps depression alot. I know because it helped mine. Its just hard to get started when you are depressed. I want to be sober, have some peace and serenity in my life and......become a 50 year old diva.
This is a very good site with lots of wonderful people whose desire to help others is genuine. Keep posting. E
I know what you are going through. I will be 49 this week. It is day 1 for me again. I spent most of my day in bed, watched a couple of episodes of Judge Mathis. All I do is try to sleep because I feel that I have totally screwed up my life because of my drinking. I've lost 3 jobs because of it. I also have a good education(m.s. degree) and I just feel like it is too late for everything. When I don't drink, all those thoughts keep spinning around in my head. I might not make too much sense because my mind is so unorganized.
Also, I used to sew, knit and crochet, work out at the gym, run 10k's, ski, scuba dive and most important of all, remeber when my kids would want to show me off because they were proud of me and not avoid me because I'm a humiliating drunk.
I have been depressed ever since I was a child and I believe this was one of the reasons I started drinking(along with low self esteem and shyness). When I go to my psych all I hear is 'alcohol is a depressant' and I would think to myself, I'm depressed anyway whether I drink or not.
I think its about time to give sobriety a chance. I've lost alot....and I may never have it again but I want to become healthy. Exercise helps depression alot. I know because it helped mine. Its just hard to get started when you are depressed. I want to be sober, have some peace and serenity in my life and......become a 50 year old diva.
This is a very good site with lots of wonderful people whose desire to help others is genuine. Keep posting. E
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I started drinking late in life, and it didn't take very long to become alcoholic. Now my kids are grown (mostly) and it's just me and my dogs, but I'm still alive and hopeful, and that's what counts.
:ghug3
:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,141
Hello everyone,
Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your replies.
It was a day from hell. Went to my shrink, with whom I've been for five years, was honest - he mentioned terminating the relationship. He wanted me to tell him I'd never drink again. We all know we can't honestly say that. If we do, it opens the door to the danger zone. It's one day at a time. Considering I had an abusive shrink before him, and it took me a year and a half to figure that out, I don't want to see another Dr. Thing is, my Dr. is a fine Dr. I've just been a lousy patient. Went to see my therapist. That went ok except she suggested I go to this AA meeting, which I'd already been thinking about. I went to the meeting, felt uncomfortable the whole time, my heart was pounding, I was living in fear they'd call on me, as it was a tag meeting, and I left feeling worse than when I walked in.
So all in all, not one of my best. However, I haven't had a drink today so I guess that's what counts.
Thanks,
Katie
Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your replies.
It was a day from hell. Went to my shrink, with whom I've been for five years, was honest - he mentioned terminating the relationship. He wanted me to tell him I'd never drink again. We all know we can't honestly say that. If we do, it opens the door to the danger zone. It's one day at a time. Considering I had an abusive shrink before him, and it took me a year and a half to figure that out, I don't want to see another Dr. Thing is, my Dr. is a fine Dr. I've just been a lousy patient. Went to see my therapist. That went ok except she suggested I go to this AA meeting, which I'd already been thinking about. I went to the meeting, felt uncomfortable the whole time, my heart was pounding, I was living in fear they'd call on me, as it was a tag meeting, and I left feeling worse than when I walked in.
So all in all, not one of my best. However, I haven't had a drink today so I guess that's what counts.
Thanks,
Katie
Too far from the beach
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Wow Katie,
I am 45 and just recovering this past year. I feel like I have a whole new life. New opportunities and I really don't think I am too old to enjoy life. 49 is not old. Now....my parents and grandparents.. thats another story. I have pictures of my grandmother when she was my age and to me she looks like she could have been in her 60's. People back then didnt exercise like our generation. They didnt eat right either. All that fat and salt.
I am an inline speed skater and so far in my 40's I have done 3, 26 mile inline marathons and a duathlon to boot (and that was in my drinking days). I have some friends on my skating team doing marathons who are in their 50s and 60s. I also play tennis about 8 hours a week. Get your but off the couch and get in some exercise and get fit. Depression will melt away and the old endorphins will kick in. You can do it!!! 49 being old???? BAAAA Humbug! You are only as old as you feel. Just remember, ya gotta walk before you run.
I am 45 and just recovering this past year. I feel like I have a whole new life. New opportunities and I really don't think I am too old to enjoy life. 49 is not old. Now....my parents and grandparents.. thats another story. I have pictures of my grandmother when she was my age and to me she looks like she could have been in her 60's. People back then didnt exercise like our generation. They didnt eat right either. All that fat and salt.
I am an inline speed skater and so far in my 40's I have done 3, 26 mile inline marathons and a duathlon to boot (and that was in my drinking days). I have some friends on my skating team doing marathons who are in their 50s and 60s. I also play tennis about 8 hours a week. Get your but off the couch and get in some exercise and get fit. Depression will melt away and the old endorphins will kick in. You can do it!!! 49 being old???? BAAAA Humbug! You are only as old as you feel. Just remember, ya gotta walk before you run.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,141
Originally Posted by lovinmenow 
Wow Katie,
I am 45 and just recovering this past year. I feel like I have a whole new life. New opportunities and I really don't think I am too old to enjoy life. 49 is not old. Now....my parents and grandparents.. thats another story. I have pictures of my grandmother when she was my age and to me she looks like she could have been in her 60's. People back then didnt exercise like our generation. They didnt eat right either. All that fat and salt.
I am an inline speed skater and so far in my 40's I have done 3, 26 mile inline marathons and a duathlon to boot (and that was in my drinking days). I have some friends on my skating team doing marathons who are in their 50s and 60s. I also play tennis about 8 hours a week. Get your but off the couch and get in some exercise and get fit. Depression will melt away and the old endorphins will kick in. You can do it!!! 49 being old???? BAAAA Humbug! You are only as old as you feel. Just remember, ya gotta walk before you run.
I am 45 and just recovering this past year. I feel like I have a whole new life. New opportunities and I really don't think I am too old to enjoy life. 49 is not old. Now....my parents and grandparents.. thats another story. I have pictures of my grandmother when she was my age and to me she looks like she could have been in her 60's. People back then didnt exercise like our generation. They didnt eat right either. All that fat and salt.
I am an inline speed skater and so far in my 40's I have done 3, 26 mile inline marathons and a duathlon to boot (and that was in my drinking days). I have some friends on my skating team doing marathons who are in their 50s and 60s. I also play tennis about 8 hours a week. Get your but off the couch and get in some exercise and get fit. Depression will melt away and the old endorphins will kick in. You can do it!!! 49 being old???? BAAAA Humbug! You are only as old as you feel. Just remember, ya gotta walk before you run.
How amazing you can do all that. Could you do all that when drinking? I reread your post and I guess you have. I was able to work out on a regular basis and drink, but like everything else, at some point drinking takes priority, at least for me. I am happy you feel great and maybe someday I'll join you - although not in skates
I'm just a girl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 170
I need to say a thank you to you all. I was just sitting here thinking that my life is not where I want it to be and I started to get a little panicked. I am part of a different generation (i hope that doesn't sound impolite), still in my twenties and I had all these great things I wanted to do before I got into my thirties. So far, I haven't accomplished many of those things because of drinking. You guys helped me realize that it is never too late or too early to change the course of your path.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
