Drinking Now....Wtant to stop
 

I've had problems with alcohol for 30 years....I'veried to stop so many times. The first time I went to AA was because the court told me I had to after spending a weekend in jail. That was back in 1989. I've hit the bottom so many times. And I am drinking right now. Why can't I learn. I've bee.n to AA so many times. Its just that when i don't drink, I am afraid of people. I am too shy. Probably one of the reasons I started drinking in the first place. People in AA have given me their numbers and I am afraid to call them because I think I will bother them.

I am on my 7th beer and I feel like I need to have about 10 more. I am a failure at everything. I've lost 3 jobs because of my drinking. I have a boyfriend who is giving me a '1 last chance' because I have been so cruel to him during my psychotic drunken episodes.

The funny thing is afther 30 years, I don't have the need to drink during thed day. I never had dt's. Its just that at times when I drink to much, I become a nasty psycho.

This is not one of those nights though. I am writing in the midst of drinking. Maybe because I ate a chicken leg. if it weren't for that leg, I would be in a drunken rage.

I admire those of you who have been able to go without drinking for so logn. I went 4 days and then bam, 10 beers friday, 5 yesterday and going on 8 today. I want to stop but I kannt deal with the stress when I don't drink. I need help. How do I post this. I hope it works.

Hi eeerooo,
Welcome to our community!
I am glad you found your way here...

Welcome to the forum. We try to help each other here as we are all trying to quit something. It isn't easy trying to quit but it is worth it.

i'm a drunken pig. I wish....I were out of my misery. i am pitiful, pathetic, you name it.

I've achieved so much and lost practically all of it because of my own stupidity. I'm a drunken slob. Even if I stop, I will be considered...a drunk drunk drunk drunk etc. etc. etc.

I hope i can go more than 4 days. I hope:praying

Make the last beer you drank, your last. You can gain achievements again, we all can. Only you control this.. now what are you going to do?

I will. I see you are a dog lover like me. I'll just wake up with that nasty thirsty feeling like always. But I have to shoot for more than 4 days.

You are making a big step by coming here and that takes a lot of courage. Use that courage to quit and be the person that you want to be. Don't beat yourself up too hard. :ghug Everyone here is on your side.

Awwww Eeeerooo! My heart bleeds for you. You've come to the right spot. We here at SR support one another without judgement. I was a drinker too. I felt the only way to cope was to drink too. I'll be praying for you tonight.

Love Chickee :praying

Yep, love my pups! (and all pups!). Keep a ton of water by the bed, some b vitamins for the am, and promise 5 days. We'll be here every single one of em :) (and beyond!)

Many here have felt like you many times I would imagine. The thing that this forum made real to me was that there are many, many of us out here, all wallowing in our misery.

There is always hope for tommorrow. We all need help. I'm on my 6th day sober, I've tried many times before, and will greet each day each hour by challenging myself to be stronger than the booze. Without it I can live, and so can you, I know it.

Everyone in this forum cares and we are all real people sitting at our computers trying to get thru the day.

Hang in there, your not pitiful and pathetic....just addicted.

God bless.

eeerooo,

What is your first name if you don't mind my asking?

That's why you have to stop. Because you are more than just a drunk. We all are. You've already proven that you can achieve great things. You can do it again! Just try to develop a pro-active attitude and approach. All the best to you and everyone here!

Erica

eeerooo, It's great you found your way to SR. This place and these wonderful people have helped me get sober & stay that way for a year - after 25 yrs. of heavy drinking. I know exactly how you feel - in the end, my life was being destroyed by booze. The fun that drinking used to be turned my life into a living hell. Can you remember the last time it was fun or relaxing for you? Now it's just something you've convinced yourself you have to have. That's a lie. You can learn to live without it, even though it's hard in the beginning - it gets much easier with every passing day. You're in misery right now, so why not give yourself a chance at feeling better, maybe even hopeful & happy again one day. You can turn this nightmare around & not be a slave to that poison any more. Please tell us more about yourself.

Erica,
Do you still have more alcohol that you can access?

Erica,

I am going to send you a private message. Please respond.

Ken

eeerooo, try this...don't finish that last beer, pitch it and make the commitment to not drink for the next 30 minutes. When that 30 minutes passes, observe how you made a positive step. Now go for the next hour...stay here on SR and talk to us. Read posts, do whatever to stay from the bottle for that hour. At the end of that hour, again observe your control to not drink for an hour and a half now. What can stop you from going the rest of the night? You have the power because you want to stop. Make that desire greater than the will to drink. Breathe, have a bowl of ice cream, take a warm bath with candles and incense, relax. Don't fret about your problem, dwell upon your plan of attack to defeat this addiction. Smile, you have the ability to do this, let SR give you the support you need, but believe in yourself. Your self pity comes from the cloud alcohol perpetually keeping your new sober self from emerging. Take up the sword and start swinging...hinta ho!! the battle is beginning; it is a good day to LIVE!!

Peace—
Padraic

she said she would make her last beer she drank, her last...

How you hanging in there Erica? Doing okay?