TOPIC: Go Ahead. Do Some Control Drinking/Drugging. Share What Happened To You.
 

Hi Im Sharon and Im An Alcoholic.

By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.

I often hear someone tell a newcomer
when they say they dont think they
have a problem drinking or drugging
then go out there and try some more
control drinking. Come back and tell
us how it went.

What has keep me sober all these yrs.
is having others go back out and try
it to only come back in and tell me
that alcohol and drugs is still alive and
well and still kicking azz.

Just to hear that is enough to say
but for the Grace of my HP there
goes I.

That could have been me if i hadnt had
the desire and willingness to go to
any lengths to stay sober. To follow
simple suggestions of dont think, dont
drink and go to meetings.

I had no control over my choices to
drink because my disease of alcoholism
was so cunning, baffling and powerful.

I simply had no control when it came to
putting down the drink, because i was
powerless. One drink starts that obsession
and craving and that was it.

Today im off that merry go round of trying
to control my drinking. It's nice to know
there is a solution to the problem of
drinking.

Thanks for letting me share.

the book mentions controlled drinking as a test to see if one is alcoholic or not. I don't think it's a threat, or even a mean thing to do. It is describing this 'craving' that goes on when an alcoholic has a drink - that they will want another one. This doesn't happen to non-alcoholics. So it says, that if you cannot relate to this, or are unsure about it - then do a test in the most clinical fashion you can. Sit down, have a few drinks and stop. Try this over and again...if ever you find that you cannot just stop - then maybe this craving that occurs makes some sense.

I am sure the posts about "telling people to go out and drink" are going to pop-up.

That's not what is being suggested at all.

Good Point...

Well, I will say one thing I have heard are old-timers in AA telling someone they aren't ready, haven't hit their bottom and to go out and drink some more.

I wonder how many people were damaged by that suggestion and did just that.

I don't think the OP intended to say this, but I will share I have heard it. Not everyone needs to reach the depths of hell to stop drinking.

I was just relating how I understand it. Telling someone to go out and drink some more is not where this topic comes from. It comes from the book (where AA took it's name!) that states one should try some controlled drinking if they are having trouble relating to the topic (allergy/craving).

What those old-timers said is on them...I thought I was done drinking many many many many many times - but went back and did some more. Regardless of someone telling me to or not.

I had to stop pointing fingers and blaming others to even stand a chance of recovering from alcoholism.

I've read the book many times and I do understand. I don't think the OP was suggesting one go out and drink some more. It's just a sore spot for me personally. When I hear this statement it brings up a lot of bad feelings for me. I have a history that goes way back with AA and I am really sensitive to certain things. In fact, it's a danger zone for me. So I think I need to step away from this forum for today.

I don't blame anyone for the choices I've made. I know they are on me.

After 25 days sober (the longest I had ever gone) I decided to "try some controlled drinking." I'm not even 21 yet. It was "okay" (even though I was doing it all secretly, along with smoking large amounts of pot) for a while, until a month later I overdosed. No more controlled anything for moi.

Understood.

I posted to pre-empt the fact that most times the 'controlled drinking' subject comes up - in turns into an "AA will tell you to go out an finish the job", or "AA suggests drinking alcohol to bring you to some state of being reasonable with what they suggest".

It was not aimed, directed at any one individual.

Controlled drinking, if ever suggested, should be exactly that - controlled (or at the least the attempt at such). IE - Sit down with a bottle and say "I am going to have 3 glasses in the next hour and then stop"...try this more than once..If you have more than 3 glasses, it's a pretty good indicator.

I've done it, and failed.

TOPIC: Go Ahead. Do Some Control Drinking/Drugging. Share What Happened To You.
 

I'll be glad to share, Assharon: thanks for starting the thread.

The last time I tried controlled drinking was almost a week ago. I controlled it so well, that it rebelled and came right back up while I was driving home after dropping my 13 year-old and a friend off at the mall.

Thankfully, I had a convenience store bag in the car... I'd just picked up soup, a small Italian hoagie (Sub, Hero, Grinder, etc), a diet coke and a ginger ale hoping to absorb it all. All I kept thinking was "Oh God, please don't let anyone I know (or don't know) see me doing this."

When I got home shaking, I quickly tied up the warm bag and threw it into the garbage.

I've tried to visualize this entire episode every day since. I don't want to forget where all that "control" gets me.

I've done it and failed also.

I understand your attempt to not stray away from the message (controlled drinking) but you can't negate the point when in fact "old-timers" regardless of reason DO suggest for people to go and finish the job...seen it with my own eyes, many have....and I would bet so have you. The potential for harm is astounding.

I too am glad to be off the merry go round of trying to control my drinking. I did it by proving myself to be powerful not powerless.

I have never tried to control my drinking and sometimes I can convince myself that maybe I am not an alcoholic. I did read in the BB where it tells you if you think you are not try controlled drinking. I was bad enough that I am taking others experiences and am assuming I can not control it. I have been sober for 6 months. What if I fail at controlling it? According to others that have tried it only gets worse and harder to stop the next time if you can stop the next time. So whether I am or not an alcoholic is not the point anymore - I am going to live without alcohol whether I may or may not be able to control it. Just for the record there is probably a 1% chance that I could control it and I am a betting person and wouldn't take those odds in a million years.

Thanks for the topic Sharon it is one of my favorites.

I don't understand what the original post has to do with the subject.

An alcoholic cannot do controlled drinking,they might for one or two drinking occasions but as sure as night follows day they will end up drinking to excess.If they can do controlled drinking well then they are not alcoholic.

Just the title of this post makes me feel quite yucky. Good luck all :)

I was so relieved to stop drinking thru AA, that bar one slip, I haven't dared pick up a drink since September 08. Alcohol has kicked my butt so thoroughly, I have no desire to try and control it. It controls me.

However, I do attempt controlled opiate abuse experiments. That penny is taking a bit longer to drop. They end in disaster every time. Each time I stop, I think I could possibly not feel more beaten up than I do at that moment. But then I start again, "just weekends" which turns into "just evenings" which turns into "just 24/7".

The idea I can control any mind altering substance is the disease talking. There is no sanity in it!