ToABetterMe

Anyone else have alot of Anxiety about spending their 1st weekend sober?

I in all honestly could not tell you the last time I didn't come home from work on a Friday (usually by 1pm) and make a drink. And then we usually do stuff with the neighbors & my sister & her family on the weekends.

And my sister drinks alot, and likes to drink with me. Always wants to do shots, etc.

I am going to try to avoid her this weekend, but I doubt it when she lives a few blocks away & her kids always want to come over & play.

Any ideas or you got through your first weekend?!

Thanks!

Katie09

As silly as this may sound, don't drink. I know it's going to be hard, but if you can spend a lot of time on here or make yourself a rule that if you get tempted you will come on here and talk about it before picking up that might help.

I guess what I've done is to look at what needs to be done around the house and do it. Even if it's to go buy a new plant at Home Depot. It's possible you might have to refuse some invitations early on. Does your sister know about your wanting to not drink? I'd make sure people know you have decided to quit - that way you don't leave the door open. I might even go so far as to suggest a meeting of some kind. Tomorrow there is this Nicotine Anonymous meeting at 5 I plan to go to, for example. I know it's not drinking related, but one way for me to enforce my sobriety would be to quit smoking, as there is no way I can drink without a cigarette. Good luck and you CAN do this

ToABetterMe

I haven't told anyone. I made the decision begining of the week, but ended up slipping up mid week. I'm afraid if I tell everyone all at once I will feel a ton of pressure. I want to do this for me.

Or is it better to tell everyone.

Katie09

For me - I would be leaving the door open to drinking by not telling people. It would be easier to drink if I didn't say anything. What kind of pressure will you feel? I know you are doing this for you, but I think there is added commmitment when you state that you have decided to want to quit. Just my opinion.

James13

I think everyone is a little different on this one. Also, alcohol was not my DOC. I have found more anxiety about not using this past week more than any other time in my sobriety, and I am 47 days in. For me, it's been mostly psychological, aside from the insomnia, loss of appetitie and increased nervousness early on.

I can relate to the pressure thing about telling other people. I have found that I don't have to tell them everything. I can just tell them that I am making a positive change in my life by choosing to not drink/use etc. I don't have to say "I'm never going to use again!", because that just puts added pressure on me, especially if I tell others the same.

I have found MUCH less pressure in approaching sobriety day by day.

Take care of yourself this weekend.

Peace.

ToABetterMe

Oh I was just reminded that we have a surprise party to go to Saturday, I will be there with my BIGGEST enablers, My sister, My Best Freind, and my cousins that drink like fish!

seemethrough

Hello, this isn't may first weekend sober ever...but it is my first weekend sober in a really long time. It's gonna be hard, I can already tell. I woke up this morning already feeling bored and thinking about tonight. I'm gonna give it a shot, but I don't feel like I can make any committments.

readyforhelp

I'm pulling for you. I am still trying to reprogram my Friday night trigger. You are in a good place here.....

JBones77

If you're not feeling comfortable enough to tell her about your decision right now, you could tell her anything. You could tell her you went to the doctor and have high blood pressure and he told you you can't drink...then after some time when you gather the courage you can tell her the truth. It doesn't matter so long as she knows you CAN'T DRINK and won't try to push it on you. Just a suggestion. But ultimately the truth would probably be the best thing to do.

masseyman

I'm new at this quitting thing too. This will be my first Friday night in a LONG time I'm choosing not to drink.

I have found that as long as it is not in the house, if I make a choice when I get out of bed in the morning that I will not drink today and keep telling myself that all day, it has worked for that day. I don't know anything about AA, but I do believe in one day at a time.

3 full days.

I'm not gonna drink tonight.

Tommorrow will be here soon enough.

ToABetterMe

I'm finding more like 1 hour at a time, But I am vowing not to drink tonight either!

masseyman

Your right, hour by hour is better. All day every minute.

God bless

123bubblegum123

I'm in college and weekends are HELL for me!!!
Thanks so much for posting this topic, seriously! I've been too lazy to post one myself!
I really try to keep myself occupied on weekends, plus I go out with people who I presume won't be drinking. I'm pretty sure I'll end up having to chill with active users, but by then, hopefully i'll be grounded enough in sobriety!
Once again, thank you!

ToABetterMe

Wow, I had to just log & read some stuff. We (hubby & I) just got home from grocery store. (which is right next door to the liquior store) Hubby asked if I needed anything from there because he noticed I didn't have a bottle in the liquor cabinet. I just said, no I'm good. Still haven't told him I'm trying to stay sober.
Anyhow Popping some pizzas in, in a minute. And we are going to sit down with the boy & watch some movies.

However Hubby has already made a big Wiskey diet & sat down on the couch.

Tonight would be so easy to give in because my daughters, the ones that flat out said they hate being around me when I'm drinking are gone for the night!!!

Dear God give me strength!!!

Pelican

Hang in there! You can do this!

This is not my first weekend sober, but I remember mine! Something that helped me was to have a drink (non-alcoholic) at all times. If someone drinking sees something in your hand, they don't keep asking you if they can get you a drink. You'd be suprised how self-absorbed drinkers can be, they may ask if they can get you something from the bar or liqour cabinet on their way, but they barely slow down and wait for your answer! Keep something in your hand, say "No, I'm good" and they will bee-line it to the alcohol without giving you a second thought!

Now your sister and the shots might be a problem. If you are not ready to tell your sister, then you might need to invent a reason you are taking an antibiotic that will not mix with alcohol. That might get you through one weekend and buy you some time.

I went to a bar with friends to celebrate a birthday and encourage a friend on her second public performance as a singer. I was 2 weeks sober. I ordered water for myself with my dinner, hubby ordered a bottle of wine. After we ate, I carried around my glass of water and visited friends. No one asked me what I was drinking, or why I was drinking water. Later when some of the group began to do Patron tequila shots and getting drunk, I left.

Best advice I got was to change my routines to avoid my usual habits the first few days/weeks and also to have a plan to avoid falling back into my usual habits.

Keep posting and reading. Lots of support here.

ToABetterMe

Thank you for the encouraging words! I poured a big diet coke, and kept it next to me all night.

Iggy1966

This is my first weekend in forever, I know what you're going through. I've got it a little less difficult in that my wife hardly ever drinks (and never gets drunk), but it's hell nonetheless.

I'm only on Day 3, so I'm still undecided about whether/how to tell anyone (I haven't yet). My 'party line' is that I'm going to the doctor for my physical in two weeks and that I'm going to exercise like hell, eat right, and live completely healthy between now and then. At some point I'll probably start talking about it, but right now I need to try it on my own.

Anyway, good luck to you and everyone else on their first weekend (and to everyone on their thousandth weekend, and everyone in between)...

TheWonkydonkey

Sounds like you've got a good plan Iggy. I'm on day 3 as well and this is my first sober weekend in a few weeks (I managed one at the start of the year...before that..who knows.................)

Weekends are hard but they give you the ammunition to get through the rest of the week

flutter

A ton of pressure to what... not drink? That would be helpful wouldn't it?

The very first person I told (and likely the hardest to tell) was my husband.. I knew if I did that, he'd be ON me if I poured a drink. I needed that. The only reason I hadn't really made that committment outside of myself was so that I could keep drinking. It really is important to communicate committments to the people closest to you, it helps with the responsibility factor. (yes my counselor taught me that, and BOY have I found it to be true!). Plus, he's curtailed his drinking around me (actually he NEVER drinks around me, and just goes out for a few beers about once a week now), which helped immensely, this is and will forever be an alcohol free house. I would not be sober otherwise.

We're all pros at breaking committments to ourselves. I think it's better to put it out there, make it something internal and external.

It's kinda like if people are dieting.. they're encouraged to TELL people they are. One, it helps cuz people wont tempt them with donuts and candy (if they care about the person) and two, it triggers something inside where EVERYONE would notice if they were munching on a plate of Nachos... maybe they wouldn't do it? Has nothing to do with 'quitting for other people', just makes you tad more accountable to a committment that you hold very dear, yet have trouble keeping just with yourself.

If you think your friends would react by pressuring you to drink, or trying to convince you that you don't have a problem, they're not your friends.