Just my thoughts
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Just my thoughts
I hope one day i will be able to come here and help someone else. Why do i feel so selfish! I've come here a few times now and it all seems me me me.
I was honest with my mum today. I'm going to visit her and i asked her not to buy any alcohol for me. She usually buts in a supply. She asked me if i was off the drink again. I said yes and she muttered I wonder how long for this time.
That really hurt but it also made me realise how much I've hurt her. I've tried to give up so many times and never have.
I know i have to prove myself this time.
I am going for 2wksand it will be scary. When i visit all we do is go places to drink. We go for a walk and stop at the pub. We go shopping and stop atthe pub. We go visiting and go to the pub.
Can i really ask my mum to change her life and what she does for me!!!!
Louis
I was honest with my mum today. I'm going to visit her and i asked her not to buy any alcohol for me. She usually buts in a supply. She asked me if i was off the drink again. I said yes and she muttered I wonder how long for this time.
That really hurt but it also made me realise how much I've hurt her. I've tried to give up so many times and never have.
I know i have to prove myself this time.
I am going for 2wksand it will be scary. When i visit all we do is go places to drink. We go for a walk and stop at the pub. We go shopping and stop atthe pub. We go visiting and go to the pub.
Can i really ask my mum to change her life and what she does for me!!!!
Louis
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
(((Louie)))
when you come here to share about you , you ARE helping countless others...We share our experiences, our strength and our hope with one another and everybody's story has 'something' for someone else
Good for you for owning up with your mum
Louie, can you sit down with your mum and talk to her?
sounds like she would like to see you sober
what about sharing your desire not to drink and asking for her support?
when you come here to share about you , you ARE helping countless others...We share our experiences, our strength and our hope with one another and everybody's story has 'something' for someone else
Good for you for owning up with your mum
Louie, can you sit down with your mum and talk to her?
sounds like she would like to see you sober
what about sharing your desire not to drink and asking for her support?
Last edited by grateful2b; 01-22-2009 at 02:50 PM.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Ditto for what Grateful said about you also helping us.
Maybe, just maybe, when you are shopping with your mum you can suggest a coffee or tea instead and it might, just might, make her more happy than going for a pint. If you want this I am sure that it is what she wants for you too. I am a father and when it comes to my kids any time they want to spend with me makes me happy. Good luck and don't spend too much. I have Scottish blood too.
Maybe, just maybe, when you are shopping with your mum you can suggest a coffee or tea instead and it might, just might, make her more happy than going for a pint. If you want this I am sure that it is what she wants for you too. I am a father and when it comes to my kids any time they want to spend with me makes me happy. Good luck and don't spend too much. I have Scottish blood too.
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Originally Posted by grateful2b 
when you come here to share about you , you ARE helping countless others...We share our experiences, our strength and our hope with one another and everybody's story has 'something' for someone else
As for your mum, you don't have to ask her to change anything about her life. She is free to do as she pleases, and it shouldn't impact you or your recovery at all! But you most certainly CAN ask her to change what she does for you if what she does is buy you alcohol. You've told her that you're not drinking anymore, so hopefully that's all that will need to be said. If you're out for a walk, just don't stop in the pub. I'm sure there are other alternatives for places to stop. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
Good luck, and please keep talking to us.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
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Thanks Grateful
I wanted to be able to discuss this with my mum but she has been hurt so much by alcohol.
My step dad and sister are both alcoholics (I still cant say the words about me) and she has gone through this twice and still going through it with my sister.
I know this should make it easier to talk to her but i cant hurt her anymore if i start drinking again and i am angry that i would have to ask mymum to change what we ALWAYS do because of me.
Thank you again for what you wrote about helping others. I really hope that's true.
Be well
louis
I wanted to be able to discuss this with my mum but she has been hurt so much by alcohol.
My step dad and sister are both alcoholics (I still cant say the words about me) and she has gone through this twice and still going through it with my sister.
I know this should make it easier to talk to her but i cant hurt her anymore if i start drinking again and i am angry that i would have to ask mymum to change what we ALWAYS do because of me.
Thank you again for what you wrote about helping others. I really hope that's true.
Be well
louis
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
If there's so much alcoholism in your family and your mum has been hurt repeatedly because of it, wouldn't she be HAPPY to do something that doesn't involve alcohol? Wouldn't skipping the pub be a welcome change? Don't have to skip the walks or the shopping or the visiting or anything else... just remove the pub.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
As weird as it may sound. Thats how you have to be in recovery sometimes. All about you. Because it is all about you in my opinion.
And like g2b said. When you share or come here with any kind of post. You never know who you may be helping. Even if someone just reads it and says to themselves.
"Gee I am not alone!"
Do you ever see how many guests are on the site? Those are people that are just reading. And alot of the newcomers that post often say they have been reading for awhile.
And its always something they read that brings them in to post and share.
As for mum...Maybe suggest doing something besides stopping at the pub. maybe lunch instead or coffee. Its not wrong to suggest something you would like to do too. Its not asking anyone to change for you. Its called compromising. I am sure she would love it and understand.
And like g2b said. When you share or come here with any kind of post. You never know who you may be helping. Even if someone just reads it and says to themselves.
"Gee I am not alone!"
Do you ever see how many guests are on the site? Those are people that are just reading. And alot of the newcomers that post often say they have been reading for awhile.
And its always something they read that brings them in to post and share.
As for mum...Maybe suggest doing something besides stopping at the pub. maybe lunch instead or coffee. Its not wrong to suggest something you would like to do too. Its not asking anyone to change for you. Its called compromising. I am sure she would love it and understand.
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