A few expressions of how i feel....
~miss nikky~
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: windsor gardens, south australia, australia
Posts: 1,984
A few expressions of how i feel....
For the first time in quite awhile I feel lonely. In addition to lonely I feel desperate, troubled, anxious, afraid and tormented.
I feel tormented by my thoughts, so much so I become desperate to make them stop. I feel troubled because there’s something just behind my eyes that I’m about to remember but it won’t quite come forward. It’s almost as if I already know it but I’m fighting it tooth and nail. I’m anxious so I pace and I’m afraid to go to sleep. I want everything but I’m satisfied with nothing. Most things seem futile.
Shadows in my mind again,
Delicate Webs of pain,
I feel myself turned inside out,
Again and yet again.
I came to see you Dr Dreams,
To ease my aching heart,
The pain of failed and broken dreams,
Was tearing me apart.
You gave me pills and powders,
Herbs and potions too,
Combining in my heart and soul,
Into one unholy brew,
I came to take the pain away,
But you rather took my mind,
With the shackles of addiction,
My spirit, you did bind.
Ill leave you now, if I can,
You are tearing out my soul
For all Ive been and done before,
I choose to live a free man,
Shadows in my mind again,
Delicate Webís of pain,
I feel myself turned inside out
Again and yet again.
I keep on thinking, He's just playing, Just playing what.
My head feels heavy thought keep spinning, flying out of my head.
Last night I think? Someone said dead.
Jans coming to pick me up, I must get dressed, this is a first, must look my best.
That’s it I'll wear the Black! Mark will be there he likes me in that.
Oh! He looks so handsome, look at that face, so strong and masculine, not a hair out of place.
The man i adore, my reason for joy, my heart, My life, My only boy.
What have they done to you? You look so grey & black & blue, I kiss your lips, they're icy too.
Thats right, I remember your just playing dead. Just like a kid, just playing dead.
Whats this ****! Something's not right, you were nice and warm only last night.
Monday it was I got to your door, popped in my head, there you were flat on the floor.
I gave you a shake! Said up sleepy head. But you wouldn't get up were just playing dead.
Stop it Mark, I began to shout, you know that **** just freaks me out.
I shook you hard you just flopped about, I blew in your mouth and it just came out.
I kept blowing and blowing it just came out. I breathed in my life but it just came out.
Then I began to really shout, Get up you bugger, it not funny, Cut it out.
But no as always, you have your way, wouldn't get up what ever I said.
You must have said bang, because you were just playing dead, just like kid, just playing dead.
The Last time I seen you, then they took you away.
Both sides of the coin appear as one, As we make two Australia's seem like fun
A barren landscape in the centre, And greeting cities when you enter;
Sadness rains for those in drought, But when it rains, there's frowns about,
With people rich and people poor, And peace about while where at war;
Are we a continent in the sun, Or an island where rivers run?
We have desert, snow, rain and fire, Our land keeps changing, a living liar;
With Medicare to keep us healthy, But bulk billing is going stealthy,
While some suicide before their old, Or keep bringing babies into our fold;
If we try to change something wrong, Our pollies sing the same old song,
That other countries are far worse, And we mustn't turn to the public purse;
And while they tell us that they care, Government white ants away our welfare,
And buys votes in our Democracy, Enshrining Oz hypocrisy;
?????????????????
The mad are happy, and happy, sad,
The sad are mad, the sappy, glad,
We all want the latest fad, But when where bored, where not so bad;
Our kids have too many rights, But can't stand to come home at nights,
To drunk parents who always fight, Or wishing their kids were out of sight;
The child grows up, a learned entity, While facing levels of dual identity,
Madness festers like a sore, But no ones mad, it's against the law;
There's more work around than we can fill, And long weekends where we work still,
Balancing books and paying bills, And buying food, filling others' tills;
A lucky country where hunger drives, A clever country where drugs thrive,
Where smiling people take their knocks,
Is Oz a paradise or paradox?
But I love it here where I am free, And I choose which side of me you see,
It's not the lightning, but the thunder, You should fear most here down under.
I feel tormented by my thoughts, so much so I become desperate to make them stop. I feel troubled because there’s something just behind my eyes that I’m about to remember but it won’t quite come forward. It’s almost as if I already know it but I’m fighting it tooth and nail. I’m anxious so I pace and I’m afraid to go to sleep. I want everything but I’m satisfied with nothing. Most things seem futile.
Shadows in my mind again,
Delicate Webs of pain,
I feel myself turned inside out,
Again and yet again.
I came to see you Dr Dreams,
To ease my aching heart,
The pain of failed and broken dreams,
Was tearing me apart.
You gave me pills and powders,
Herbs and potions too,
Combining in my heart and soul,
Into one unholy brew,
I came to take the pain away,
But you rather took my mind,
With the shackles of addiction,
My spirit, you did bind.
Ill leave you now, if I can,
You are tearing out my soul
For all Ive been and done before,
I choose to live a free man,
Shadows in my mind again,
Delicate Webís of pain,
I feel myself turned inside out
Again and yet again.
I keep on thinking, He's just playing, Just playing what.
My head feels heavy thought keep spinning, flying out of my head.
Last night I think? Someone said dead.
Jans coming to pick me up, I must get dressed, this is a first, must look my best.
That’s it I'll wear the Black! Mark will be there he likes me in that.
Oh! He looks so handsome, look at that face, so strong and masculine, not a hair out of place.
The man i adore, my reason for joy, my heart, My life, My only boy.
What have they done to you? You look so grey & black & blue, I kiss your lips, they're icy too.
Thats right, I remember your just playing dead. Just like a kid, just playing dead.
Whats this ****! Something's not right, you were nice and warm only last night.
Monday it was I got to your door, popped in my head, there you were flat on the floor.
I gave you a shake! Said up sleepy head. But you wouldn't get up were just playing dead.
Stop it Mark, I began to shout, you know that **** just freaks me out.
I shook you hard you just flopped about, I blew in your mouth and it just came out.
I kept blowing and blowing it just came out. I breathed in my life but it just came out.
Then I began to really shout, Get up you bugger, it not funny, Cut it out.
But no as always, you have your way, wouldn't get up what ever I said.
You must have said bang, because you were just playing dead, just like kid, just playing dead.
The Last time I seen you, then they took you away.
Both sides of the coin appear as one, As we make two Australia's seem like fun
A barren landscape in the centre, And greeting cities when you enter;
Sadness rains for those in drought, But when it rains, there's frowns about,
With people rich and people poor, And peace about while where at war;
Are we a continent in the sun, Or an island where rivers run?
We have desert, snow, rain and fire, Our land keeps changing, a living liar;
With Medicare to keep us healthy, But bulk billing is going stealthy,
While some suicide before their old, Or keep bringing babies into our fold;
If we try to change something wrong, Our pollies sing the same old song,
That other countries are far worse, And we mustn't turn to the public purse;
And while they tell us that they care, Government white ants away our welfare,
And buys votes in our Democracy, Enshrining Oz hypocrisy;
?????????????????
The mad are happy, and happy, sad,
The sad are mad, the sappy, glad,
We all want the latest fad, But when where bored, where not so bad;
Our kids have too many rights, But can't stand to come home at nights,
To drunk parents who always fight, Or wishing their kids were out of sight;
The child grows up, a learned entity, While facing levels of dual identity,
Madness festers like a sore, But no ones mad, it's against the law;
There's more work around than we can fill, And long weekends where we work still,
Balancing books and paying bills, And buying food, filling others' tills;
A lucky country where hunger drives, A clever country where drugs thrive,
Where smiling people take their knocks,
Is Oz a paradise or paradox?
But I love it here where I am free, And I choose which side of me you see,
It's not the lightning, but the thunder, You should fear most here down under.
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