jules67

I have been sober since january 15th 2009 and right now I keep losing my "cool" over anything . I am snapping at my husband and kids and its as if I can't stop myself. I have been okay all day but tonight I got tired and had to remove myself from my family because I felt like I couldn't cope with one more thing. I have to take care of my kids and I hate taking this out on my husband because he has been so supportive. I keep apologizing and then I turn into a " *itchy" person that I don't even recognize.

I hate feeling like I can't cope, and my emotions are all over the place. I am easily overwhelmed at just picking up my house and trying fold the laundry and keep my world somewhat organized . Its like this wave of anxiety comes upon me and I can't get a deep breathe for about 15 minutes , so I decided to come and post something and here from all of you.

I didn't think I would still be going through withdrawals , I did drink pretty consistently except for pregnancies and nursing , for about 13 years having about 3 to 6 glasses of wine a night. anyway it is a relief to just share this with people who understand

jules 67

Impurrfect

(((Jules67)))

I think what you are going through is normal, although my addiction was crack, not alcohol, so I have no personal experience. I do know that we spent years in our addiction, and it takes time for our bodies to adjust to not having that substance.

I am sure others will be along with more ES&H, but I just wanted to send you hugs, and congratulation you on your sober time!!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

C23

Jules, I am going on day 3 of being sober and I know exactly what you are going through. I just got done screaming at my kids to go to bed and they dont deserve it. I think it is just our emotions out of whack from quiting the booze. It will subside I hope and our family will understand. Just stay in a quiet place with us for now and it will get better.

Aysha

Sounds like normal early recovery BS.
I webnt through it even after 4 mos clean. Which I am not that far clean this time. But I was a total B**** right up to 4 mos of being clean.
You have to think about it for a minute.
We spent so long screwing our minds and bodies chemistry up. Its not going to just snap back into place in a few days. Not even months.
But you just have to learn to find ways to deal with that aggravation.
I cuss alot. LOL And I mean alot!
Not saying thats what anyone should do. But Its better than me flippin on someone.
I will just go away and cuss aloud to myself. LOL. Sound crazy?
But I release that angry , frustrating energy and I am ok after that.
If I gotta cuss every 5 mins. I will do it.
Alot of times I have to just go away from everything and everone and just stop and breathe and just say F it and calm myself down. Think about what the H*** my problem is and then think of the good points in my life.
It is an all day process some days. And it doesnt always work. But I try.
We are human. Its early recovery. Youll find your "healthy" release if you look.
Hang in there.

jules67

thanks for all the encouragement. Its amazing that I can come here, on line, and feel such support , much more than my friends and family can give me.

I hope that this doesn't last four months. But if it does it is still better than being intoxicated and not experiencing my kids or life in a real way. And it is still better waking up in the morning not hung over and feeling guilty wondering why it was so important to have that last drink anyway.
I finally feel like I am being honest in my life for the first time in a lot of years and for that i am proud of myself.

grateful2b

Welcome to SR, Jules and know that we are always here to listen...congratulations on your sober time and keep posting grateful

Katie09

Well, you are sure in the right place. What you are feeling is very normal and I think you should cut yourself some slack. I think withdrawals can last for up to two weeks and then of course it goes on into post-acute withdrawals, but at least after two weeks you are physically out of the woods, from what I have read (no Dr. here, however). Honestly, my house is a disaster and I don't even care. I come first and that's it. Of course I don't have a husband and kids, but I would still put yourself first, as you are toughing out a very hard thing. Congrats on your time!

KenL

Hi Jules,

Keep posting as much as you need. We will help as long as you need it. There are a lot of very smart and experienced people here to help you get through tough times. Nobody here seems to take their sobriety for granted. It is gained by being candid with others and completely honest with oneself. So read a lot and post a lot. You will definately find that it will help you to keep it all together. Just give it time. Oh and congratulations on being sober for one week.

James13

Right now is really all you have, Jules. I hope you take it easy on yourself. Expressing how you feel is a good thing.. keep posting.

nickishine

Jules,
We are sooooo out of whack when we come off our addictions! What you're experiencing is normal, totally normal! I can be an irate b--ch for no good reason -- and it may last well into several days at times. This time around, I don't know why, I haven't gone there.............yet! (Just wait until I'm PMSing) LOL-not really!

Try to give yourself a break & know that this too shall pass, cuz it really will! Just out of curiosity, is AA something that is of interest to you? For me personally, I am finding that with the direction of my Nazi Sponsor and going to meetings regularly now, I'm getting some good direction in my life and learning some new coping mechanisms for dealing with new sobriety again. Irregardless, keep posting here and am so glad you did! You're an attribute to this forum -- whether it's good, bad or ugly to you. We need eachother!!!!

Hugs!

Darylord

Hang in there. I relapsed on pain pills after being clean for 2 years. I went on a 2 month binge then stopped on Jan 18. Yeah I had a couple days where I felt I was going to lose my mind. Ride out the storm...the end is wonderful!

I remember Tuesday at work the cravings were horrible! But I refuse to give up regardless of how I feel.

And one week is a long time and day by day minute by minute the healing process will take place. Congratulations!

startsmart

I Jules, I have been sober since about the same time as you and lately I have been in a bad mood and get mad and angry for almost every little thing. Reading about your situation and all the posts here makes me realize that getting to our 'normal' state is not going to happen overnight.

At least I'm not waking up with a hangover in the morning and be unproductive all day waiting for the day to end. I hope this will pass in a couple of days and I hope you can see that it will only get better and not worse.

The last time I decided to quit drinking (15 days ago) I was about 7 days sober for the first time in years. I had a fight with my girlfriend over a stupid thing and I was so angry and anxious that night that I decided to take a couple of drinks to 'calm me down'. After almost finishing a bottle of tequila I woke up the next day knowing I had make a mistake and that the anxiety was an excuse for me to drink. That next day my girlfriend even had forgotten that we had the fight and I realized that I was overreacting as an excuse.

I still get mad at people over stupid things but I try to calm myself down knowing that this feeling will pass and I feel that everyday is getting a little better than the day before and I don't know about you but I'm starting to feel that I remember more things and can think more clearly now than when I was drinking. Just little things like that makes me feel that I'm going in the right direction. I hope you feel the same way.

All About Love

had to giggle at the welcome to sr coment jules! sorry it tickled me pink!
I hope things look up for you soon babe, im not much of an encouragement atm as im going thru excactly what you are too
atleast i can say, as you know, the worst day in sobriety is better than the best day of use.
we will get there together hey girl!

Rusty Zipper

welcome jules...

have you herd, "alcoholism is 10% drinking, and 90% thinking"

are you doing anything to change that old thinking?

any recovery program?

for me, i had to do a 180, to cope and deal with life, and on its terms, not mine...

good wishes to you jules...

xxooxoo

rz

Strangef8

This being my third day, I couldn't agree with you more. Awesome place!

Anna

Hi Jules,

You're doing great!

I wonder what other changes you've made in your life, besides stopping drinking?

I hope you keep reading and posting.

Pelican

Hi Jules,

I replied to your earlier thread, under our Alcoholism section, concerning the monster moods. Here it is:

Quote:
Originally Posted by jules67
I find myself snapping for no reason and getting angry for no reason.

jules67


Someone needs a cookie!

Welcome to the SR family!

TSH posted some very helpful links here at SR. You may be experiencing hypoglycemia as you withdraw from alcohol. "Under the Influence" and "Beyond the Influence" discuss it and have a suggested diet plan.

I was diagnosed as hypoglycemic long ago. Years of alcohol abuse have not helped matters. I find it helpful to eat several healthy snacks as well as 3 nutritious meals per day to keep my blood sugar regulated. Like for breakfast I have a banana, about 30 minutes later I have a cereal bar and later I have yogurt with fruit. Yeah, it takes me a while to get out the door some days! But it prevents the energy crash and agitation that comes with letting my sugar level drop.

Keep reading and posting. We're glad you are here!

Today: I had to learn to deal with my emotions by "responding" instead of "reacting" to situations after I got sober. I realized that by using alcohol every night in my home I was blurring through situations that I now needed to experience sober. At first, I would give the knee jerk reaction and it was not benefitting anyone. Learning to be aware and practicing a patient response has been very helpful. Good luck!

jules67

Lots of great advice for me, thank you all very much.

I was beginning to think it had to do with my blood sugar as well , I have been hypoglycemic for a while but since I have stopped drinking my blood sugar seems to drop much more quickly than it ever did before I can feel a shakiness and sometimes a little nausea and headache that come on all of a sudden. I do eat three healthy meals a day but I need to add snacks in .

I am going to be evaluated for a second time and most likely enter into an outpatient program that meets three times a week I live in a very small town and have to commute to the program, and I think it requires involvement in AA as well.

I am very nervous to go to meetings in my community because it is small and I am worried about people finding out and gossiping about me. Actually to be honest I was freaking out about it last night talking to my husband telling him "I would not leave the house at all if people started talking about me" He said, "it wouldn't matter because we are not close to anyone really anyway so it is no loss,

I would find it difficult to go to soccer games , grocery store if I thought people were gossiping about me. I kept mydrinking a secret, no one would have a clue that I drank. I have always tried to present myself as being "together" I think that s why I like the honesty of admitting that I am an alcoholic and I have some things to change and work out. I am human I do make mistakes. I just am not sure how I will handle shame and gossip.

I think i am going to have to surrender that to God, I can't carry that and try to focus on recovery. I will have to let it go. any advice for me on how to do that?

again thanks for listening
jules 67

Mariposa18

Jules~ Your post really resonated with me. The things we feel should just be "easy" to do overwhelm us the most. I actually just had an incredibly long conversation with my Husband about this. I don't know about you but I feel getting better should happen faster, you know? I have to stop and tell myself we didn't get this bad overnight, we won't get better overnight either.

13 years is a long time Sweetie, and you are very early on in your sobriety right now. Be easy and kind to yourself. It gets better, it really does~