seemethrough

Well, I am on day 1 again. I went on a short bender and I woke up today wanting to do it again. I still have the alcohol in my icebox. I know I need to go pour it out, but I haven't worked up to that yet. My mind becomes consumed by drinking and once I give in, there is no going back. It is a frustrating and destructive thing...

nickishine

Seemethrough,

Yay, alcohol has been a mind-consuming thing in my life. Having it right there, at arms reach, is torturous! Is there anyone you are close to that can come over and help you through this?? I encourage you to pour it out ASAP.... Do you think you can do that?? I pray that you will find the strength. Alcohol will keep being master of your life, as it had mine until we let go absolutely. Please post back.

:praying

C23

Seemethrough,

Pouring out that alcohol is empowering. It is your way of say "you will not defeat me and you are not powerful over me." I hope you find the strength and we are always here for you.

Mariposa18

The first step is to pour it out, I hope you are able to do so. Stay here and post, read, do whatever you have to do to get the strength to get rid of that poison and start over.

We are here for you

seemethrough

Thanks for the prayers. The hard thing is that I start outpatient in a few days and we are absolutely not allowed to drink while going through the program...I guess that is the whole purpose, huh? : ) I keep trying to justify my drinking by saying, "well, I have to quit in a couple of days, so I might as well drink while I can." I know that isn't right...but the mind of an alcoholic is a tricky thing at times.

nickishine

Seeme...
I have been right where you're at in the past with starting OP. As alcoholics, we use ANY excuse to drink or prolong it until the time we can't (like classes, etc.). We just keep defeating ourselves until the last minute. What about trying something different, hmmm? Pouring it out and staying sober until Friday? That could be a huge turn of accomplishments for you. You can start right now. What do you think? I'm not going to harp on this, to pour it out, because you know what you should do and will make the decision on what you want to do.

We have all been there! Just know you have a lot of support -- NO MATTER WHAT -- right here with us friend!!! Keep us posted! Love Ya!

jobu

Hi, I too fell off and today is my first day of sobriety. I'm new to the site but am optimistic having others help me and also helping them... I believe that 1/21/09 will be the most important day of the rest of my live

Anna

Hi,

The addict voice is determined to win and you have to recognize that, and dismiss it.

You know what is the right thing to do for yourself.

Good luck with the outpatient program.

nickishine

Seemethrough....

Hi there! Just got back from the automotive shop and you've been on my heart!!! Where are you at??? Doesn't matter if you're good or bad, up or down.... I'd like to know so I can be there for you.

Please post back soon!!! :ghug3

James13

Seemethrough, I hope you are doing ok today. I know what it's like to have the substance lying around, contemplating on when to throw it out. I had some bad days recently, and was glad I didn't have it here.

Hope you keep posting.

Peace..