Another noob.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Clinton Twp, MI
Posts: 133
Another noob.
Let me start off by saying that this is very hard for me. Hard to admit I have a problem, hard to ask for help and hard to accept help. I have always kept my feelings and emotions to myself. Well as my wife told me last night it's time to grow up.
I ahve a drinking problem, I guess I am a binge drinker. I can have a beer or two with lunch or dinner but sometimes I don't stop and switch to harder stuff and then it's all downhill from there. I don't go on 3 or 4 day jags or anything, it just hits me that I want to be drunk. I quit smoking tobacco 4 years ago and pot 6 months ago and so I thought i had the willpower to quit drinking as well. I stopped drinking hard liquor about two months ago but had a relapse yesterday and got drunk and did something stupid. I messaged a few of my female friends, not to mention MY WIFE'S COUSIN asking for suggestive photo's. My wife found out and now I am in the doghouse over that. I don't remember doing it and was absolutely horrified when I saw what I had done. This isn't going to end my marriage or anything but it sure isn't going to help it either.
My wife deserves better treatment than this, I am tired of hurting her and I can't do it on my own. I have left a message with a therapist to make an appt.
I have tried going to an AA meeting before but as a non-believer I couldn't get into the higher power aspect of AA.
I just want to be normal and not hurt the ones I love anymore. Where do I start?
I ahve a drinking problem, I guess I am a binge drinker. I can have a beer or two with lunch or dinner but sometimes I don't stop and switch to harder stuff and then it's all downhill from there. I don't go on 3 or 4 day jags or anything, it just hits me that I want to be drunk. I quit smoking tobacco 4 years ago and pot 6 months ago and so I thought i had the willpower to quit drinking as well. I stopped drinking hard liquor about two months ago but had a relapse yesterday and got drunk and did something stupid. I messaged a few of my female friends, not to mention MY WIFE'S COUSIN asking for suggestive photo's. My wife found out and now I am in the doghouse over that. I don't remember doing it and was absolutely horrified when I saw what I had done. This isn't going to end my marriage or anything but it sure isn't going to help it either.
My wife deserves better treatment than this, I am tired of hurting her and I can't do it on my own. I have left a message with a therapist to make an appt.
I have tried going to an AA meeting before but as a non-believer I couldn't get into the higher power aspect of AA.
I just want to be normal and not hurt the ones I love anymore. Where do I start?
You just started!
You found a recovery web site, you admitted you have a problem, and you asked for help. That's great.
Welcome to SR. This is a fantastic support resource. I hope you stick around.
You found a recovery web site, you admitted you have a problem, and you asked for help. That's great.
Welcome to SR. This is a fantastic support resource. I hope you stick around.
Oh man...I feel where you're coming from. There's nothing worse than waking up with a hangover and finding out that at some point you've made contact with the outside world and don't remember any of it.
I've done it many times with email.
Good for you admitting you have a problem.
I'm new here too....and it was hard for me to admit it, but I have a problem with alcohol too. Welcome.
I've done it many times with email.
Good for you admitting you have a problem.
I'm new here too....and it was hard for me to admit it, but I have a problem with alcohol too. Welcome.
Welcome to SR!
It would be great if you realize that you have just started down the road to recovery and a better life. The good news is, you dont ever have to wake up again and not remember doing something that your shouldn't of. Good luck and come here often. Let us know how you are doing as we (I) need to hear stories of recovery for my own to be successful.
It would be great if you realize that you have just started down the road to recovery and a better life. The good news is, you dont ever have to wake up again and not remember doing something that your shouldn't of. Good luck and come here often. Let us know how you are doing as we (I) need to hear stories of recovery for my own to be successful.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Clinton Twp, MI
Posts: 133
Thank you for the support already. I feel that this may help a lot. This may be a start, but with all of the information in the forums I still feel kind of lost. I have peeked into the secular threads for a minute but it's information overload. Where do I find a list of the 12 steps for non godders?
Here's the Secular 12-Step Forum.
Thank you for the support already. I feel that this may help a lot. This may be a start, but with all of the information in the forums I still feel kind of lost. I have peeked into the secular threads for a minute but it's information overload. Where do I find a list of the 12 steps for non godders?
As someone who isn't the most practicing religious person (grew up Roman Catholic if that is any indication), let me tell you something that was very important to me when I tried AA. As I understand it, it is important to know that when they talk about a power greater than yourself, they arent only talking about God. It could be the group, or this website community, or anything you feel you can speak to to find a "power" that you do not have currently or alcohol or substances. I don't think AA is expecting you to become a full on God lover in a matter of moments. And being spiritual, doesnt always imply a little man in the sky either.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome Strange.
It took a similar event for me to stop. That and an ultimatum. You have come to the right place. Read the 12 step secular program in that section and use this group instead of the higher power. We are here for you. Coming here daily will help as will posting and reading. Good luck, You can do this.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-12-steps.html
Just went back and added the link. This is the 12 step program I am using. I am only on step 2 or maybe 3. Hope this helps.
It took a similar event for me to stop. That and an ultimatum. You have come to the right place. Read the 12 step secular program in that section and use this group instead of the higher power. We are here for you. Coming here daily will help as will posting and reading. Good luck, You can do this.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-12-steps.html
Just went back and added the link. This is the 12 step program I am using. I am only on step 2 or maybe 3. Hope this helps.
Last edited by Fubarcdn; 01-20-2009 at 12:29 PM. Reason: Add a link
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Clinton Twp, MI
Posts: 133
Welcome Strange.
It took a similar event for me to stop. That and an ultimatum. You have come to the right place. Read the 12 step secular program in that section and use this group instead of the higher power. We are here for you. Coming here daily will help as will posting and reading. Good luck, You can do this.
Just went back and added the link. This is the 12 step program I am using. I am only on step 2 or maybe 3. Hope this helps.
It took a similar event for me to stop. That and an ultimatum. You have come to the right place. Read the 12 step secular program in that section and use this group instead of the higher power. We are here for you. Coming here daily will help as will posting and reading. Good luck, You can do this.
Just went back and added the link. This is the 12 step program I am using. I am only on step 2 or maybe 3. Hope this helps.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 23
Welcome!
When times get rough or you feel that need to get hammered, hit SR up for the support and thoughts needed to get through the day / night. This is extremely powerful and will help you as you decide on which support group to join or not join.
Cheers -
CAM
When times get rough or you feel that need to get hammered, hit SR up for the support and thoughts needed to get through the day / night. This is extremely powerful and will help you as you decide on which support group to join or not join.
Cheers -
CAM
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
Strange...
In my humble opinion, you've already made a HUGE start. You're admitting that you have a major problem with alcohol! You came here and posted what's going on (and by the way... you came to the right place).
Glad to have you here. Keep posting, reaching & reading. You're not alone, my friend!!!
:ghug
In my humble opinion, you've already made a HUGE start. You're admitting that you have a major problem with alcohol! You came here and posted what's going on (and by the way... you came to the right place).
Glad to have you here. Keep posting, reaching & reading. You're not alone, my friend!!!
:ghug
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,141
Yes, a big welcome here and while I am not a guy and may not have done exactly what you did, I can sure relate to the feelings of doing something and not remembering and that sick feeling that comes over one when one realizes...it is not a pleasant feeling. This forum is very supportive and I'm new here too. I like you want to remember what I do going forward and want to avoid those feelings you describe..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Clinton Twp, MI
Posts: 133
Yes, a big welcome here and while I am not a guy and may not have done exactly what you did, I can sure relate to the feelings of doing something and not remembering and that sick feeling that comes over one when one realizes...it is not a pleasant feeling. This forum is very supportive and I'm new here too. I like you want to remember what I do going forward and want to avoid those feelings you describe..
Welcome! You have indeed made the first step toward a sober life: admitting you have a problem and asking for help. Do check out the secular forum, might be just what you wanted. And come here often, read and post and ask questions. We'll support you all the way!
:ghug3
:ghug3
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