bunkie09

Lying, is a part of my addiction. When I admit to my lying, but I still spew lies, how does it help me stop? I was asked if I had withdrawn money from our account, I did, 25 dollars, but told him it was only ten... Why did I say only ten? What I see it as is a form of insanity.... ? Doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome... The outcome being what? LoL. What is it about telling the actual truth? I am a compulsive liar. I'll lie about anything, for any reason, regardles of the outcome or consequence. Why?! I just don't understand why. That is a behavior I want to change.... To stop the lying.

TryingSoHard

So let me ask you this: at what point do you realize you've just lied? Do you know BEFORE you give the answer, or does the answer just fly out of your mouth and then after it's said you think to yourself, "Hmm, not really"? Or does it not click until sometime later?

If you know before you answer, or immediately after, then I'd suggest taking an extra minute to think before you speak. Really think it through and make a conscious effort to be truthful. If you're just answering with lies and you don't even realize it until later, that implies to me that it's just become a habit to you and you're going to have to re-teach yourself how to be honest.

Do you lie about lots of things, whether they're a "big deal" or not, or only about "important" things? Do you notice any patterns? Figuring these things out might help you break the cycle.

Good luck.

Fubarcdn

I also lie but I am a little better at it than you are. Is he not going to know how much you withdrew when he looks at the bank statement? It sounds more like a little game that you play together. The truth shall set you free. For every lie you tell you usually have to tell another one to cover that one and so on and so on and so on. Then you have to remember all of the lies that you told. This is A LOT OF WORK. Maybe your SO can't handle the truth. Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Lying is way too much work. I know I am a major liar too.

shaun00

For me it was a learnt behavior......in my drinking i had to lie to protect my drinking....i got very good at justifing my lying and dishonesty..
In fact it got to believing my own rubbish!..
I would suggest from your post that you still lie sometimes but it getting more and more uncomfortable to sit with.....hence the reason for yor post.
And thats the way it was for me........i cant remember a point in my recovery when i decided to be totally honest with everyone.. period...
But i do remember it got very uncomfortable to "sit with myself" when i had been dishonest......trucker

Rusty Zipper

bunk, for today, try for one less lie...

its one less lie towards truth...

Anna

I was also some who lied a lot.

I learned to lie as soon as I could talk. I need to lie to save myself in my family situation. Even at age 3 or 4, I knew instinctively to lie to protect myself. The problem was that lying became second nature and I would lie about inconsequential things, for no reason.

Being honest with myself and with others was a huge part of my recovery.

Hang in there! You will find that it feels good to be able to tell the truth.

parentrecovers

oh, my daughter is a real chronic liar when her addiction is raging. i figure it's the disease just trying to keep everything all chaotic and jumbled up for everybody around it. when she gets a little clean sober time, it calms down a bit. but i think it really is just a bad habit. my husband and i, we call her on them now - she doesn't much like it, but i really think she lies a lot of times without even really reliezing what she's saying. so i'm hoping that bringing them to her attn is helping her in some ways?

i think rusty is on to something with one less today...


and thanks for bringing this topic up - it's a good one.

flutter

Boy I lied a LOT when I was drinking.. stupid lies that had nothing to do with drinking or anything. It's a horrible way to live. Think a moment before you respond to things and see how that works, maybe you can just stop over time. Sure it's a habit, well formed in the addiction jungle.

It's so wonderful to live in truth, honesty and with good intention.

nickishine

I'm a compulsive liar too. If not lying then I'll fabricate or overexaggerate the truth. I've lied about my addiction for so long that so many other lies just became second nature. I hope that through recovery I can overcome this!

Thanks for posting & bringing this up!

Hugs, Nicki

bunkie09

thank you.
appreciate your response and your suggestions!

bunkie09

yes, the lying is like a full time job. and most of it is just for nothing... a habit that was formed and became out of control.

Its been with me since I was little. Fabricating the truth, exaggerating... for no reason, except to make me look better? to make someone else look better? LOL... insanity. Its me I am lying to.... I want to stop lying to me and I want to see me, truthfully. I am letting go of this and yeah.

Thanks everyone for posting. I don't know how to reply to each individually? LOL on this thread...learning yet

allthingsarenew

I lied as well to cover my drinking from my wife after she asked me to stop and I continued drinking by hiding it.

My question is: How do/did you rebuild trust with your spouse after lieing about your drinking?

Thanks in advance for any help!

yeahgr8

I have been lyign for so long to cover the drinking and the times i took off work etc that i am having to think now before i start rattling off one of my tales. I also lie to people to tell them what they want to hear as it means i can usually get all the things i want, it really sucks and i can see how becoming truthful in recovery with myself and all around me is very important. It's quite difficult unteaching yourself the habit of, what is for me, a lifetime but by no means impossible and will just take me some practice. I imagine one day just being able to stand there and be myself and everything that comes out of my mouth the truth, i reckon i can only build on that over the coming months/years:-)

Fubarcdn

It will take a lot of sober time to rebuild that trust but it will be worth it for both of your sakes.

littlefish

Here's a nugget from an old timer at AA: He said he is glad he is sober and glad he doesn't lie anymore. It was so complicated with the lies because he had to try and recall what he had told various people. With the truth, it doesn't matter if he can't remember what he said. He just has to remember what happened.

Just4today15

Hello everybody. I'm really new to this forum and am hoping it will help me in my new state of sobriety! Hope you can support me so I can support you too!

barnes

Lying, is a part of my addiction.

Addiction and lying go together. Healing and honesty go together. It's hard to lie to others, all the time, without also lying to yourself at least some of the time. Being honest with others is part of the path toward self-honesty. To become an integral whole, in harmony, without internal division, that is, to have integrity, is to become free.