Stuggling tonight....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 87
back from dropping off my little monkey at the gym. Did I mention she is a gymnast?
Anyhow, mindset is this. I keep saying no, I don't want to drink. On the way home she called me to tell me she was going to be there for an extra hour. I get a shot of anxiety cause when I am drinking, an extra hour means and extra hour of physical torture for me. Then I realized, I am on day 3, the shaking is gone, the eyes are all better, so why bother? I can just simply go home and post on SR until it is time to pick her up. No problem. The next wave is when she goes to bed. Then the cravings REALLY kick in to take a 5 minute run to the store and get what I call a "friday" bottle of vodka, which is a liter. Since I am on day 3 I am not sleeping so it would be soooo nice to just pass out tonight instead of tossing and turning ALL night in that half rem sleep. To combat these cravings I have been quadrupling up on over the counter sleeping pills. But tomorrow I have nothing to do so why not get hammered, enjoy sleeping in and not go to bed with my own thoughts of money, finding a job, etc. etc.
Anyhow, mindset is this. I keep saying no, I don't want to drink. On the way home she called me to tell me she was going to be there for an extra hour. I get a shot of anxiety cause when I am drinking, an extra hour means and extra hour of physical torture for me. Then I realized, I am on day 3, the shaking is gone, the eyes are all better, so why bother? I can just simply go home and post on SR until it is time to pick her up. No problem. The next wave is when she goes to bed. Then the cravings REALLY kick in to take a 5 minute run to the store and get what I call a "friday" bottle of vodka, which is a liter. Since I am on day 3 I am not sleeping so it would be soooo nice to just pass out tonight instead of tossing and turning ALL night in that half rem sleep. To combat these cravings I have been quadrupling up on over the counter sleeping pills. But tomorrow I have nothing to do so why not get hammered, enjoy sleeping in and not go to bed with my own thoughts of money, finding a job, etc. etc.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 165
Thanks for posting Michigangirl. I'm on day 15 and just experienced my first powerful craving to go and pick up a 12-pack. By the time I was done reading this thread, the craving has passed and I'm aware of what a stupid mistake that would be to drink when my goal is to be sober. I have to remain positive and optimistic for 2009, I almost got it right in 2008 and actually spent more of 2008 sober than in my drinking phase...but ended 2008 with a drink. 2009, I'm going to get it right and work to remain sober all the way until 2010. And I want you, all of you, to be sober all the way through 2009 as well!
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
I am still here but it is pretty quiet. You still with us Michigan? Watching Don't forget the Lyrics. Actually my wife is watching it. Switched music and am listening to I am a rock by Simon and Garfunkell. Don't forget to pick up your monkey at the gym.
How about you Cubile?
How about you Cubile?
Last edited by Fubarcdn; 01-16-2009 at 06:44 PM. Reason: add info
Hang in there everyone!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Back as well! Is there such a thing as a quiet wave? (I'm not all that young any more, either. lol Well -- young at heart, at least!)
Michigangirl's hanging in there and checks in at some point, too.
HUGS out to all of you.
Michigangirl's hanging in there and checks in at some point, too.
HUGS out to all of you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hey - Well that little project my wife wanted me to do involved moving the computer, so I'm just getting back!
Anyway, the project distracted me and I'm trying to keep this place warm -
OK - it's minus 1 degree here
- not exactly rave type temps...
But the craving is gone... What's the temp by you?
Mark
Anyway, the project distracted me and I'm trying to keep this place warm -
OK - it's minus 1 degree here
- not exactly rave type temps...But the craving is gone... What's the temp by you?
Mark
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Jumping on the end here.
I dont know if your husband finding out matters if you will know.
Letting yourself down and fooling yourself is all I think will come out of it either way.
Hang in there. I hope you talk YOUSELF into staying sober.
You will be so happy tomorrow knowing you did.
I dont know if your husband finding out matters if you will know.
Letting yourself down and fooling yourself is all I think will come out of it either way.
Hang in there. I hope you talk YOUSELF into staying sober.
You will be so happy tomorrow knowing you did.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 162
Hi Everybody.... I feel terrible I missed the party!!! I am so touched by all the support.
I was feeling blue, so I drank 2 cups of chamonile tea, covered up and snuggled with dogs and watched a funny movie. Locking myself down to one spot seems to help.
I also did alot of thinking. I think I am starting to get the hand of defeating what I like to call "stinkin thinkin" (I dont know where I heard that, but I liked it - maybe its an AA thing?) I am practicing new excuses. Like what if hubby's car broke down and I needed to go get him? (cant do that drunk), what if one of the dogs (or another member of my zoo) got ill and needed to go to the vet?
I have also set very short goals. At the begining, I told myself I had to at least make 2 weeks. Now that I have made 2 weeks, I am saying, I can do 30 days. Taking it one day at a time. I guess the biggest thing is, I really dont want to go through all this again. I think it may be getting slightly easier with time. I do know that it is definetly easier to not drink at all then try to control it. Life is nicer not having to try and hide it. And as others said above, I would be letting myself down more than anyone else. And today I do feel happy that I did not give in. Hubby's STILL not home. I am happy that I can greet him, and not still be passed out, and try and pamper him after working 20+ hours straight. (At least his working inside right now).
So I did not drink, woke up at 6:30am (on my day off??) and HAVE to snowblow. Have not done that all week. But it wont be so bad because I wont be hungover. It will just be ****** cold!!
Again, thanks for the support. This place is great, because everyone here is so wonderful!!! So to a sober weekend :ghug
I was feeling blue, so I drank 2 cups of chamonile tea, covered up and snuggled with dogs and watched a funny movie. Locking myself down to one spot seems to help.
I also did alot of thinking. I think I am starting to get the hand of defeating what I like to call "stinkin thinkin" (I dont know where I heard that, but I liked it - maybe its an AA thing?) I am practicing new excuses. Like what if hubby's car broke down and I needed to go get him? (cant do that drunk), what if one of the dogs (or another member of my zoo) got ill and needed to go to the vet?
I have also set very short goals. At the begining, I told myself I had to at least make 2 weeks. Now that I have made 2 weeks, I am saying, I can do 30 days. Taking it one day at a time. I guess the biggest thing is, I really dont want to go through all this again. I think it may be getting slightly easier with time. I do know that it is definetly easier to not drink at all then try to control it. Life is nicer not having to try and hide it. And as others said above, I would be letting myself down more than anyone else. And today I do feel happy that I did not give in. Hubby's STILL not home. I am happy that I can greet him, and not still be passed out, and try and pamper him after working 20+ hours straight. (At least his working inside right now).
So I did not drink, woke up at 6:30am (on my day off??) and HAVE to snowblow. Have not done that all week. But it wont be so bad because I wont be hungover. It will just be ****** cold!!
Again, thanks for the support. This place is great, because everyone here is so wonderful!!! So to a sober weekend :ghug
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Glad you made it MG... Hope the snowblower worked OK...
My best oldest friend now lives in the U.P., he moved from FL... He talks a lot about all the snowblowing... All we got here was the cold!
Stay sober, keep posting here.
Mark
My best oldest friend now lives in the U.P., he moved from FL... He talks a lot about all the snowblowing... All we got here was the cold!
Stay sober, keep posting here.
Mark
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 162
Everyone, thanks again for all the support
Cubile - WHY would anyone leave Flordia for the U.P.?!?! LOL. I am in the northern part of Lower MI. (A "troll" I believe, is how the "yoopers" refer to us) LOL.
(Hope I am not offending anyone with that one)
Cubile - WHY would anyone leave Flordia for the U.P.?!?! LOL. I am in the northern part of Lower MI. (A "troll" I believe, is how the "yoopers" refer to us) LOL.
(Hope I am not offending anyone with that one)
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