Strangest AA meeting last night
Karma Amputee
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Originally Posted by doorknob 
Is that 3 months w/out any substances or just alcohol?
Two months without nicotine.
And just about a month since I last took a Tylenol w/ Codeine.
I still occasionally smoke pot.
This is a work in progress for me but 100+ days without booze is a big deal to me.
As is living my life free from addiction, which is what I'm doing right now.
Do I deserve my coin any less?
6
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
I never picked up a 30 or 60 day coin. I go to meetings, but don't really consider myself "in the program" since I don't have spiritual beliefs, so didn't really feel right about it, and didn't really feel a need for them either.
Karma Amputee
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Originally Posted by doorknob
I never picked up a 30 or 60 day coin. I go to meetings, but don't really consider myself "in the program" since I don't have spiritual beliefs, so didn't really feel right about it, and didn't really feel a need for them either.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by getr345
Well then, to thy own self be true. I wanted my coin, quitting drinking has been hard work and I like something physical I can hold onto to remind me and it also kinda reminds me of the military, where you would get coins for all kinds of things you did, and places you served.
Karma Amputee
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Taking a coin means getting up in front of a room full of people and exposing yourself beyond the seat you're sitting in, could that be the reason some people "choose" not to get a coin? Nothing about this process is easy, and IMO it takes a great deal of courage to even seek the recognition that is deserved.
Im not crazy and neither am I
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
Stories like that one make me so mad. Just because the guy assumed that everyone knew his anniversary was in december he copped a resentment. I have recently been asked to look at my expectations of others and that kind of remimds me of the situation.
Also, to speak to a newcomer like that is absolutely proposterous. If the guy hasnt learned after 23 years that the newcomer NEEDS to be welcomed - apparently he hasnt gotten it. imho
edit: there are alot more important things in life than a coin.
We had a newcomer who said that he was struggling when he introduced himself and he was welcomed in - again. He spoke and said that he had been drinking that day and he was welcomed even more. Where the hell can an alcoholic go if they cannot go to a meeting. It isnt anyones place to tell them they cant be there open meeting or not.
It drives me crazy when these purist 12 steppers go off on a rant in other meetings that arent just that 12 step meetings. Nothing wrong with spreading the message and all but lose the soapbox !
We all do what we need to to try to get sober and stay that way. If someone had said that kind of crap to me Im really not sure what I would have done and where I would be now.
Lord knows alot of people may have an issue with the program I have but in all honesty its none of their friggin business unless it directly effects them.
Other peoples opinions are none of my business and usually are unwelcome if not asked for.
Live and friggin let live and all that crap too !
If someone has been able to get to a meeting that is a step in the right direction imo.
If they have been able to stay away from a drink (if that is what they desire) even better.
There are some people that differentciate drugs (substances) from alcohol. Some say that it isnt staying sober if they have used. It has been said to me that it is a slippery slope to use and try to stay away from a drink and I believe for me that is probably true. My sobriety is my business unless it effects someone else.
At this point I cant use anything as it will eventually lead me back to drinking.
If someone needs to smoke a little weed in the beginning of staying away from a drinkthat is their business and their program not mine. I did the same thing. It did lead me back to a drink, but that is me.
Who the F am I to judge ???
Also, to speak to a newcomer like that is absolutely proposterous. If the guy hasnt learned after 23 years that the newcomer NEEDS to be welcomed - apparently he hasnt gotten it. imho
edit: there are alot more important things in life than a coin.
We had a newcomer who said that he was struggling when he introduced himself and he was welcomed in - again. He spoke and said that he had been drinking that day and he was welcomed even more. Where the hell can an alcoholic go if they cannot go to a meeting. It isnt anyones place to tell them they cant be there open meeting or not.
It drives me crazy when these purist 12 steppers go off on a rant in other meetings that arent just that 12 step meetings. Nothing wrong with spreading the message and all but lose the soapbox !
We all do what we need to to try to get sober and stay that way. If someone had said that kind of crap to me Im really not sure what I would have done and where I would be now.
Lord knows alot of people may have an issue with the program I have but in all honesty its none of their friggin business unless it directly effects them.
Other peoples opinions are none of my business and usually are unwelcome if not asked for.
Live and friggin let live and all that crap too !
If someone has been able to get to a meeting that is a step in the right direction imo.
If they have been able to stay away from a drink (if that is what they desire) even better.
There are some people that differentciate drugs (substances) from alcohol. Some say that it isnt staying sober if they have used. It has been said to me that it is a slippery slope to use and try to stay away from a drink and I believe for me that is probably true. My sobriety is my business unless it effects someone else.
At this point I cant use anything as it will eventually lead me back to drinking.
If someone needs to smoke a little weed in the beginning of staying away from a drinkthat is their business and their program not mine. I did the same thing. It did lead me back to a drink, but that is me.
Who the F am I to judge ???
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 25
I agree with needing the tangible evidence of my sobriety - it's my little reward for the hard work - and for me it's HARD work. I don't exactly work the steps, believe all the spiritual talk either, but I think I can reward the 'spirit' in me for my sobriety and take that chip. Hope to get another one someday.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
Originally Posted by seekinrecovery
I almost got up and left myself - it was SOOO uncomfortable. I made sure to stick around after the meeting tho to let him know that that is not usually how the meetings go, and told him about the meeting tonight. I really hope he shows up so he can see a decent meeting.
when my daughter got out of her first rehab, we wanted to go to an open meeting with her that day. so we went to a meeting that said it was open, but when we got there, we had read the website wrong, and it was actually a closed mtg. the folks there were so understanding, and more than welcomed my husband and i. one of the people there ended up being my daughter's temp sponsor. so i guess for every not so good one, there's another one that makes up for it.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by frstnm
It drives me crazy when these purist 12 steppers go off on a rant in other meetings that arent just that 12 step meetings. Nothing wrong with spreading the message and all but lose the soapbox !
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by seekinrecovery
I agree with needing the tangible evidence of my sobriety - it's my little reward for the hard work - and for me it's HARD work. I don't exactly work the steps, believe all the spiritual talk either, but I think I can reward the 'spirit' in me for my sobriety and take that chip. Hope to get another one someday.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Originally Posted by getr345
Taking a coin means getting up in front of a room full of people and exposing yourself beyond the seat you're sitting in, could that be the reason some people "choose" not to get a coin? Nothing about this process is easy, and IMO it takes a great deal of courage to even seek the recognition that is deserved.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
My coin represents my sobriety, the AA program, and the fellowship. One year - a milestone I couldn't even imagine on day 1.
I did speak at my birthday meeting and over the past year I gratefully accepted my 1, 3, and 6 month chips. My sponsor told me that it's important to do this to give hope to the newcomer (I vividly remember my day 1 and it really did help me to see others making progress). Whatever people are comfortable with I suppose. It's not like it's a requirement or anything.
In addition, I have had people lend me their coins to "hold on to" when I was going out of town on lengthy trips - for strength, something to focus on.
I have a young relative who is struggling with alcoholism (the consequences have been absolutely horrible, heartbreaking). I will give her my coin the next time I see her.
I did speak at my birthday meeting and over the past year I gratefully accepted my 1, 3, and 6 month chips. My sponsor told me that it's important to do this to give hope to the newcomer (I vividly remember my day 1 and it really did help me to see others making progress). Whatever people are comfortable with I suppose. It's not like it's a requirement or anything.
In addition, I have had people lend me their coins to "hold on to" when I was going out of town on lengthy trips - for strength, something to focus on.
I have a young relative who is struggling with alcoholism (the consequences have been absolutely horrible, heartbreaking). I will give her my coin the next time I see her.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
happy b-day Gravity
woo hoo !
If the man came to the meeting thinking he may be a alcoholic,then he does have a problem of some kind with the bottle.He should be most welcomed at any closed meeting of AA.
A closed meeting is for those that think they might have a problem with alcohol and the alcoholic.Thats the way my home group does it.You can come half drunk if you must,but pls do not disturb the meeting for the others.
My home group has 2 speaker meetings a week,and a big book and one 12x12 study a week.No discussion meetings.That cuts down on a lot of problems like the irrated 23 yr old with no coin.
He is a great example of what we do not want to do or be.All about him,right?
I hope your new guy comes back.
woo hoo !
If the man came to the meeting thinking he may be a alcoholic,then he does have a problem of some kind with the bottle.He should be most welcomed at any closed meeting of AA.
A closed meeting is for those that think they might have a problem with alcohol and the alcoholic.Thats the way my home group does it.You can come half drunk if you must,but pls do not disturb the meeting for the others.
My home group has 2 speaker meetings a week,and a big book and one 12x12 study a week.No discussion meetings.That cuts down on a lot of problems like the irrated 23 yr old with no coin.
He is a great example of what we do not want to do or be.All about him,right?
I hope your new guy comes back.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
About that AA meeting....whoever chaired
that meeting was not doing their job.
Most groups give coins at the end of a meeting.
Thus not disrupting the flow of the topic.
Had I been the chair...I would have simplly said
to the man with 23 years...
"Good for you..we will give you your coin
time to speak at the end"
I would have asked another male member to go
to another room or outside with the newcomer.
It's up to the chair to stop the drama.
Whatever the situation is.
We have 20 meetings a week..only 2 are Closed.
I'm all for Open Meetings..
that meeting was not doing their job.
Most groups give coins at the end of a meeting.
Thus not disrupting the flow of the topic.
Had I been the chair...I would have simplly said
to the man with 23 years...
"Good for you..we will give you your coin
time to speak at the end"
I would have asked another male member to go
to another room or outside with the newcomer.
It's up to the chair to stop the drama.
Whatever the situation is.
We have 20 meetings a week..only 2 are Closed.
I'm all for Open Meetings..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
ummmm....i think one of the hard things about having long term sobriety is being put on a pedastal. sorta like well, if you have such and such amount of time...you shouldn't have whatever problem you have.
I'm not even close to 23 years (LOL), but i already occationally get myself mesed up in the head cause i worry people will write me off if i get stupid and wacko when i have the amount of time i have in the program....
I guess I think that sometimes the message of love and tolerence and the steps is a message we need to carry to those who have long term sobriety but happen to be going through a dificult time in some area at some point in thier journey.
But then...I can relate to the being pssed cause no one remembered your birthday...see...that is soooooo meeee
I'm not even close to 23 years (LOL), but i already occationally get myself mesed up in the head cause i worry people will write me off if i get stupid and wacko when i have the amount of time i have in the program....
I guess I think that sometimes the message of love and tolerence and the steps is a message we need to carry to those who have long term sobriety but happen to be going through a dificult time in some area at some point in thier journey.
But then...I can relate to the being pssed cause no one remembered your birthday...see...that is soooooo meeee
On the road of happy destiny
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: OHIO
Posts: 210
Originally Posted by TryingSoHard
Wow, that's harsh. If someone had said that to me at my first meeting, I can PROMISE you I never would have made it to a second one!!
On the road of happy destiny
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: OHIO
Posts: 210
Originally Posted by getr345
Taking a coin means getting up in front of a room full of people and exposing yourself beyond the seat you're sitting in, could that be the reason some people "choose" not to get a coin? Nothing about this process is easy, and IMO it takes a great deal of courage to even seek the recognition that is deserved.
Good post, thanks for helping me put my thoughts into words.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Originally Posted by CarolD
About that AA meeting....whoever chaired
that meeting was not doing their job.
Most groups give coins at the end of a meeting.
Thus not disrupting the flow of the topic.
Had I been the chair...I would have simplly said
to the man with 23 years...
"Good for you..we will give you your coin
time to speak at the end"
I would have asked another male member to go
to another room or outside with the newcomer.
It's up to the chair to stop the drama.
Whatever the situation is.
We have 20 meetings a week..only 2 are Closed.
I'm all for Open Meetings..
that meeting was not doing their job.
Most groups give coins at the end of a meeting.
Thus not disrupting the flow of the topic.
Had I been the chair...I would have simplly said
to the man with 23 years...
"Good for you..we will give you your coin
time to speak at the end"
I would have asked another male member to go
to another room or outside with the newcomer.
It's up to the chair to stop the drama.
Whatever the situation is.
We have 20 meetings a week..only 2 are Closed.
I'm all for Open Meetings..
We give our coins out after the preamble is read here.
I do agree with the chair should have taken control.
I need to go back and see was it an open meeting or, the group decide to make it a closed meeting?
When, the guy made the comment, he didn't know if, he was an alcoholic or not was an invite to hear people's ESH. It wasn't like some normal person dropping by out of the blue to see how an AA meeting was like.
We just have one open AA meeting a week here. I don't care one way or another but, P.O.'s have been known to sit in our open meetings. Or, an occasional spouse will attend an open meeting as well.
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