BKP

A relative of my girlfriend died on Sunday due to a result of drinking and drug abuse. The family (not her) will be drinking their faces off as a result of this post horrific event. My question is not how can I not drink, I will not but why do the same thing that brought this young man into a grave? It makes zero sense to me now that I am thinking with over a week with a sober mind. Input, feelings etc...

Gypsy Feet

the idea is to kill the pain, I remember it well

sailorjohn

There is nothing disrespectful about attending a viewing, church service and burial only. Why do the same thing? Because you have a drinking problem, maybe?

Phoof418

So sorry to hear about the loss. I can def relate to that. I've too often used that as an excuse to take the easy way out and kill the pain. It always seems to create much more than you intend it to. Pay your proper respects and keep that tunnel vision on your recovery and; of where you want to be a week from now; who knows where or two weeks clean and sober.

Phoof418

You can do it

Fubarcdn

Sometime back a good friend of mine committed suicide because he lost fhis job over drinking and then his family. There was no drinking at the funeral and all a few of the rest of us wanted to do was get to somewhere else and hit the bottle. I was talking with him and drinking with him just before it happened and was feeling really guilty that I couldn't say the right things to save him. I am now ashamed of this but at the time that is what I had to do to cope with the situation. Don't judge the others too harshly as it is unlikely that they even see the irony in their actions.

least

It is very hard to deal with such pain and loss. Getting drunk takes away the pain for a bit. I feel badly for them choosing to walk the same dangerous path, but I can only choose the path I walk.

shandi76

imo, bringing your new found sobriety to this situation would be honoring, like a quiet tribute, you know? i think that would help me get through, sorry this happened to you, and good luck. shandi

CAPTAINZING2000

Pay your respects and leave.

I've got one this weekend as well. A cousin died. Not sure if, there's drinking going on but, I don't have to be a part of it.

Never been to a funeral home or funeral that, I saw someone tilting one back inside yet. I'm sure, it's been done though

gravity

I wouldn't worry about what other people do in this situation. Could be to relieve stress, their own way to honour their loved one, something they always do, etc. They are hurting and will do what they do.

I did face a situation like this about 18 months ago. A friend drank himself to death (43 years old). I was a pallbearer. Many of his friends (and my friends) went on a bender after the burial (keep in mind, it was a minority of the people who attended the funeral - most stayed sober). Honestly, I was at the point that if someone would have asked me to go for a beer, I probably would have. But I got a flat tire after the burial and that gave me enough time alone to think it through (someone watching out for me maybe?).

Looking back, I am so grateful that I did not drink. I spent my time comforting his relatives (the little ones come to mind) and helping others. I sent my friend off in a way that I can be proud of. No regrets.

Isaiah

They presume that their consumption has a different nature than that which lead to this person's passing. I am sorry to hear about her family's loss. I am with you that it strikes me as odd that their grieving contains an element of the cause of death, but... gosh... honestly I find it hard sometimes to identify with non-alcoholic rationality. I suppose that if I went to a funeral of someone who passed from lung cancer, no, I probably wouldn't think twice about lighting up with other mourners. Humans are just strange--all I can think of.