how can I make this time be different?
 

I always do this, I decide to quit drinking and the first day or so I am really excited about the choice. Then I get a few days under my belt and start telling myself that I don't really want/need to quit or I start to justify why I can drink. I really want to be sober and get 30 days...I want this time to be different.

I've done that many times before too. The only thing that's different for me this time is AA. Your mileage may vary though. :)

I am just starting out myself and I know what you are talking about. I have done the same thing myself and I am hoping this time will be different. I think that coming to this forum everyday and reading others stories and sharing their pain as they share mine will make the difference. I will also drop my drinking buddies who will most likely just call me whipped and hang with people that want what is best for me. If we really want to do this we can. When you get the urge come here and read some posts and hopefully the feelings will go away. Good luck and since we are starting at the same time we will celebrate milestones together on here.

That sounds good happyface:

I am in a similar boat - starting again after about 45 days from Nov 8 - mid Dec then about 3 weeks of on again and off again.

I think what made me lose what I had gained was I quit working at it every day - it seemed like it was going pretty well and I didn't log in as much, did not do as much reading, did not keep the physical presence of alcohol out of my sight and bam, there was a glass of wine with my name on it!

I miss having the sober days under my belt - I loved it when hit 30 days, and then 40, etc. Now I want to get myself into "double digits" again. I am not personally an AA person (have tried it) and I get a lot from everything I read on this site about what works. It seems to me that working at it seriously and daily (whether in AA or on this site, or other ways) is one key to success. I am hoping that is the case. I made a commitment to put a few hours aside each day for recovery work - posting, reading, etc.

Good luck and keep posting!

You can make this time different by recognizing the addict voice for what it is.

Ignore it, focus on your recovery and move forward.

If the urge to drink is really strong try this, take out a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle. On one side write "pro" and the other "con" and then list all the "pro" or positive things that will come from drinking and on the other side write all the negative things that will come from drinking under the "con" side (or you could write all the positives for staying sober and the negatives for staying sober).

To get different results you must do something different. Never tried AA? Try it. Tried AA before and it didn't click? Try it again. Going to AA and you still relapsed? Keep going to AA and get more involved. Read more books on recovery - there are hundreds of them, go to any Barnes & Noble there is a whole section on addiction and recovery.

Boy am I glad I'm not alone in wondering how can I make this time different than all of the others. I can no longer count how many attempts I've made to get sober, either in the ways I've declared it or the variations of effort. What the difference for me is I'm here focusing on sobriety instead of falling back into old habits (which right about now would include a glass of wine in my hand and having no chance of being productive tomorrow). I intend on coming back and clinging to the words of wisdom about how to stay sober, because I so desparately want to live. I hope you do too. And I think it's great there are so many newcomers embarking on this journey with me! :ghug2

I understand the part about the desire starting strong and then it ebbs and then we give in. I think we all can relate to that. What made it different for me this last time was I wanted it more then I wanted to drink. I found a way to not drink and that was by coming here and posting. That was by getting rid of all alcohol in the house. That was by changing my routine and not being around at 4 pm everyday and pouring that first glass of wine.

I guess the bottom line is find a plan that will work for you. If you've tried and tried, but can't do it alone why not try a support group like AA? You would have face to face accountability and maybe make some sober friends. I've done it by way of SR, but I would go to AA in heartbeat if SR wasn't working. Good luck and keep on posting.

You'll get there.

You just tried something new, you posted here.

Just keep trying.

Yea..I got like that too. A few days go by. Feeling better. And I just know I can do it differently this time. All those excused start to take over.
Just look back at all those times you say that to yourself. And then rmember what happens every time. Doesnt change. Same vicious cycle.
What you can differenty is to be aware of those lies. Be prepared to deal with them. Find some sort of a network of sober people. Anything to help you stop that self sabotage.
Glad yu are here. Keep posting.

You must be serious. You will be tested at every turn, and you gotta stay on track.

Being sober is the absolute best thing in the world. Hard work, yeah...but I'll take it over being a drunk, anyday.

Welcome to sr. Keep reading and posting.

I honestly can't say what it takes to make that milestone, for me it was an overwhelming need brought about by the realization that if you don't stop now, you will lose something that you aren't prepared to lose. A loved one. Your life. Could be something as mundane as a drivers license. Is there anything that you aren't willing to lose? If you haven't tried an AA meeting, it might not be a bad idea. One of the reasons I attend AA, to remember where I came from, I don't ever want to go back there. Good luck.

I can tell you what made a difference for me.
I read "Under The Influence"
took that infomation ...re connected to God and AA.

I have not had another drink.
:chairfall

We have excerpts from the book ..it's the 2nd sticky post
in our Alcoholism Forum. Please go check it out.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

If you need de tox information...it's there too,,1st post.

Good to see new members seeking answers...:yup:

Hello, seemethrough. There are suggestions here about doing group meetings to beat this thing...that does work for some, but if you are not comfortable in a group setting, please be aware that there are many people on SR who have gotten sober and remain sober by other means.

I'm thinking that remaining sober is....looking past the fear as a motivator to stay sober....even looking past the good feelings about staying sober...

…I can’t really explain it…but, the less I focus on those things, the easier it is to stay sober.

Thinking all the time about my problems is what got me into this mess…I’m cautiously optimistic that MAYBE my emotional state is getting better, and the reason it may be better is because I’m not drinking now.

This is the hardest thing I’ve had to do so far in my life.

It’s not going to be easy…you may have emotional swings frequently, you may find yourself in bouts of insomnia, and you may find yourself incredibly tired. This can last for quite a while….but hang in there. Certain things will get better….Sobriety is not a cure-all, but it’s a fresh start to a new life. You can work on the details once you have a good foundation.

I wish you well.

Keep reading and posting.

Have you read
Our Devilish Alcoholic Personalities.
If you do a google search it will turn up a PDF file.It is worth the read,and is only 10 pages long.If anyone wants a copy,email me,I`ll send it to you.

Reach out for support, whether it be to AA, to this site, to finding an addiction counselor. YOu must be prepared when your addict voice tries to drag you back down. I agree with making a list of the good and bad about drinking. Any time you feel tempted to drink, read your list and know why you want to stop drinking. It's not easy but it can be done. We'll help you any way we can!

Welcome!:Val004: