LaDita

I just wanted to do a 'check-in' since I find it's really helpful for me to let others know what's going on with me and for peace of my own mind. When I keep stuff inside, it sometimes manifests itself into problems and relapses and I would like to start doing this daily.
Is there a thread specifically for this?

Yesterday was pure drama. Luckily none of it had to do with me. It seemed everyone I know was going through some break-down of sorts. Last night a family friend came by because he was in some kind of distress. Once he arrived at my apartment door I realized he was drunk, but it was too late to turn him away (I feared he would retaliate somehow if I didn't let him in). I made him a sandwich and gave him a cigarette and thankfully he left. I was holding my cell phone on me the whole time in case I had to call the police.

I hate to do it, but I'm not letting him in my apartment again. His whole family is in major crisis right now with he and his older brother (the one who almost attacked me a few weeks ago) who are in very active addiction. His older brother's new girlfriend/fiance is new to the area and I've been spending some time with her and showing her around town, and as much as I'd like to be helpful and have an opportunity to get out of the house myself, I can't help but feel very toxic, resentlful and remorseful after we visit. I think I really need to remove myself from that whole situation, but a part of me feels guilty. And a part of me has this idea that things will get better/change, but I know it won't. I wonder, could this this co-dependent thinking?

Today was good, I felt good throughout most of it, I did some shopping but as soon as I got home I started to feel really lonely and hopeless. 'Stagnant' would be a good descriptor. I really need to find new friends and new playgrounds, and for the first time ever, I really believe that it's possible.

Someone mentioned the term "Harm Reduction" in a post earlier and a light bulb went off. I think I am going to make a list of things to do (and not do) in order to reduce harm from coming in my life.

Thanks,

LD

:hat

Bamboozle

There is no shame and no guilt for taking care of yourself first. Some people think that's selfish, but I do not. This is how I think of it:

I cannot take care of anyone else if I do not take care of myself first.


Wishing you well.

grrrr

Hi LaDita,

The daily support threads are good for checking in every day:
Newcomer's Daily Support Threads - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I agree with Bamboozle, taking care of yourself is the most important!