Stressing out... and talking to myself
I'm just a little unwell
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Oh, update now that I'm home:
Child - totally over it, playing a video game, talking to me, and finally getting excited about the Titans game tomorrow.
Husband - NOT over it AT ALL, barely speaking to me, in the other room pouting.
Child - totally over it, playing a video game, talking to me, and finally getting excited about the Titans game tomorrow.
Husband - NOT over it AT ALL, barely speaking to me, in the other room pouting.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: arizona
Posts: 45
I can really relate to you wanting to drink anytime a problem arises. I am that person 100 %. Anytime my boyfriend and I argued, I started panicking, seeing red, I couldn't focus on anything!!! All I could/can think about is drinking to number one: show him!! Ha!! And number two:make the problem not bother me anymore, and enjoy my nite damnit!! Well, ofcourse I rarely enjoyed it. But, you are doing wonderful!! Just let your husband know his abrupt jeckel and hyde performance took you off guard ( please don't use those words 
lol) and it hurt your feelings. That you love him, and realize how much you want to be honest with him and that communication should be at 100%. This should smoothe things over. And I promise things will end up okay with your son and husband, but he is a teenager. You must stand united and focus on your lives together. He will go to the matresses with żou both throughout highschool, get used to that!! But this to shall pass. Good luck to you and congrats at being so patient, strong and smart 
lol) and it hurt your feelings. That you love him, and realize how much you want to be honest with him and that communication should be at 100%. This should smoothe things over. And I promise things will end up okay with your son and husband, but he is a teenager. You must stand united and focus on your lives together. He will go to the matresses with żou both throughout highschool, get used to that!! But this to shall pass. Good luck to you and congrats at being so patient, strong and smart Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: arizona
Posts: 45
I can really relate to you wanting to drink anytime a problem arises. I am that person 100 %. Anytime my boyfriend and I argued, I started panicking, seeing red, I couldn't focus on anything!!! All I could/can think about is drinking to number one: show him!! Ha!! And number two:make the problem not bother me anymore, and enjoy my nite damnit!! Well, ofcourse I rarely enjoyed it. But, you are doing wonderful!! Just let your husband know his abrupt jeckel and hyde performance took you off guard ( please don't use those words lol) and it hurt your feelings. That you love him, and realize how much you want to be honest with him and that communication should be at 100%. This should smoothe things over. And I promise things will end up okay with your son and husband, but he is a teenager. You must stand united and focus on your lives together. He will go to the matresses with żou both throughout highschool, get used to that!! But this to shall pass. Good luck to you and congrats and being so patient, strong and smart
lol) and it hurt your feelings. That you love him, and realize how much you want to be honest with him and that communication should be at 100%. This should smoothe things over. And I promise things will end up okay with your son and husband, but he is a teenager. You must stand united and focus on your lives together. He will go to the matresses with żou both throughout highschool, get used to that!! But this to shall pass. Good luck to you and congrats and being so patient, strong and smart mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I have one bio daugher, my husband has 2 bio sons, and we have raised or help raise a bunch of other stray kids. We treat ALL children differently. The girls cant do what we let the boys do. I am harder on the lazy smart ones then I am the earnest under achievers. ALL teens are hard to talk to and make us crazy at times. My husband MANY times did not treat the children or react to them as I would have liked him too, and he would say the same about me. But he loves them all, bio or not, as I do. The "baby" is 21 now, and we are close and on good terms with all of them, it all works out honey.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
TSH you are one smart cookie! YOu will not drink, I'm sure of it! I talk to myself all the time, and when I'm not, I'm talking to my dogs! You'll make it. And I agree... which one is the child?
:ghug3
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 162
TSH.. sorry I cant offer anything about the father son relationship, as I am not a parent (although, my stepmom always treated us different than her own childern)
I just wanted to mention his reaction when you initial called him about the situation.
Guys tend to want to fix everything. My experience (with my hubby) is if I tell him about a problem or situation and he cant fix it, he gets angry/frustrated, etc (turns into an a**). They dont always know how to just listen and let us vent. At least mine doesnt. (Mars / Venus thing I think)
I try to remember that, although it doesnt make it any easier.
Enjoy your game and the weekend. He'll get over it.
I just wanted to mention his reaction when you initial called him about the situation.
Guys tend to want to fix everything. My experience (with my hubby) is if I tell him about a problem or situation and he cant fix it, he gets angry/frustrated, etc (turns into an a**). They dont always know how to just listen and let us vent. At least mine doesnt. (Mars / Venus thing I think)
I try to remember that, although it doesnt make it any easier.
Enjoy your game and the weekend. He'll get over it.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Michegangirl you are so right. I had the same problem with my bf - if he couldn't 'fix' it he got mad... usually at me for bringing it up and (perhaps) for reminding him of his limitations. It IS a Mars/Venus thing, I believe...
I'm just a little unwell
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Maybe I need to pull that book off my shelf and read it again. I haven't read it since before he and I got married... thanks, girls.
Thank you, Chiy!!
I'll be hitting the road in about 45 minutes. Game's at 3:30 Central time!
GO TITANS!!!!!!!!
Thank you, Chiy!!
I'll be hitting the road in about 45 minutes. Game's at 3:30 Central time!
GO TITANS!!!!!!!!
)
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hey TSH!
I will be brief. I can sooooo relate. My hubby is step dad to my son since the age of 2. Son is now 16.
Here is something I learned:
I used to think I would marry my prince charming
Instead, I gave birth to him.
(everytime conversations revolve around Prince Charming, hubby becomes impatient)
In my previous mixed up head, I gave my husband priority over my kids. Now the priority list is myself, kids, hubby, job, etc...
Fun with teenage boys: it does not matter what you told them daily since they were 5 because their still forming brains did not hear you. At about 14 their still forming brains grew the "me" section. I believe science teaches that they will begin to form the "we" part of their brain at approx 18-50 years of age!
Go have fun at the game. Coping skills are part of the learning process and they will come.
I will be brief. I can sooooo relate. My hubby is step dad to my son since the age of 2. Son is now 16.
Here is something I learned:
I used to think I would marry my prince charming
Instead, I gave birth to him.
(everytime conversations revolve around Prince Charming, hubby becomes impatient)
In my previous mixed up head, I gave my husband priority over my kids. Now the priority list is myself, kids, hubby, job, etc...
Fun with teenage boys: it does not matter what you told them daily since they were 5 because their still forming brains did not hear you. At about 14 their still forming brains grew the "me" section. I believe science teaches that they will begin to form the "we" part of their brain at approx 18-50 years of age!
Go have fun at the game. Coping skills are part of the learning process and they will come.
Moving out of Limbo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Today
Posts: 343
TSH, I know that in times like this, which I can compare to conversations with my significant other, I try to find myself. I have reacted so much to everything around me, and tried to appease people so much in life, I have to remind myself now that my well being does not depend on other people. Easier said than done, of course.
I've also noticed that when I break the back and forth cycle of reaction, the tension gives sooner or later.
I'm glad you're sober and didn't drink.That's the worst option. Good job.
much love
I've also noticed that when I break the back and forth cycle of reaction, the tension gives sooner or later.
I'm glad you're sober and didn't drink.That's the worst option. Good job.
much love
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 179
TSH: My relationship with my teenager changed when I realized that those times when she was being SO unreasonable, so difficult, ungrateful etc. were in fact her way of expressing her great stress and anxiety. Well, I know where she picked up her great stress and anxiety LOL! Anyway, knowing this, I stopped trying to defend myself against all of her statements and instead just acknowledged them, asked her what she thought we needed to do, and kept telling her I loved her. Then I let it go...
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Teenagers are a pain in the butt (I think there is a rule somewhere they are supposed to be). Add to the mix steps, halves and wholes (my family has all three!) and you have a recipe for trouble!
Isn't it nice to be sorting it out, Sober?! Sweet!
Isn't it nice to be sorting it out, Sober?! Sweet!
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