sct

... but you have to want it, and you have to use it.

That's one of the primary things I've learned over the past year. I have seen many people want recovery, and to stay clean. But recovery is a lot of work. There is a lot of changing thought patterns. Sorry, but if you're struggling, it's probably that the old insanity of doing the same thing (promises, locking it up, pouring it out, and not changing your thinking at all...) keeps you in a state of misery that leads to using.

There's so much joy in the world, that is so readily viewable and livable free from mind altering substances. There are so many tools that will help anyone stay clean. But you have to use them.

While it may step on a few toes... I'll still say this. I don't need to know what someone learns from a relapse. If you learn some recovery, you don't have to learn anything from a relapse.

Using the tools of recovery has kept me clean for a year. I plan to keep using them, because they work.

tellus

In my experience in (nearly) a year sober, the most important thing I've learned is: everyone's recovery is different. Relapses aren't good, but if they happen why not use them as learning experiences? I'll gladly hear what someone's learned from a relapse, especially if it means I'll be better guarded against one myself.

Congrats on your year sober. I'm right behind you!

mxchaos

I'm having an easy time staying sober since my last relapse but finding recovery challenging and hard work. Healthy happy are the goal.

All About Love

i immediately was angered by your comments so im going to leave this thread alone
telly an mx you say it well
all i will say is every part of the journey is a learning tool an one should not judge! anothers journey

Dee74

Recovery is hard, but it's worth it.

I want to help people with their journey best I can - I hope I never forget how hard it was getting there on mine, or how bad I used to feel when I was back 'there'.

lets not shoot our wounded.
D

coffeenut

Over my 30 year drinking 'career' I made 3 or 4 serious attempts to stop. I learned something from each of those relapses. Those lessons I bring to this sobriety. I have finally learned that I will NOT compromise my sobriety. I can't! I learned to NOT compromise my sobriety from my past failures. Guess I'm a slow learner!

I'm glad you are strong enough not to have a relapse, sct, because they damn near killed me.

James13

We are all imperfect. That's what I am learning about recovery, relapse or no relapse. Right now, it's easy for me to stay sober, but challenging to live without substance. I always thought before that if I was simply sober, that was enough. But it isn't, because I have to change my whole lifestyle, spirituality and thinking about myself. I am beginning to understand that these changes are what recovery is, and staying sober is one part- but it is the foundation for bigger change. Staying sober and living a healthy mental and physical life is something I want, but I have to accept that I will make mistakes in this transformation.

I learn from other people's personal stories- when they relapse, and when they make other mistakes, or when they succeed. I have to love everybody and learn from everybody.

Mark75

I want to learn about everything I can when it comes to lessons learned by others. Whether it be sobriety, uninterrupted - congrats on your yours ! - or relapse and why it happened.

That's why I keep coming back to SR.

Mark

yeahgr8

I think the comment sct made about relapses is one i may make myself but what i would be doing is talking to myself. To explain i made many many attempts myself at sobriety and had many many failures so for myself there can be nothing to learn from a relapse and that must be the way I look at it for myself.

When i read sct i did not pick up on the comment really and was too busy, after just 10 weeks, quite frankly jealous and in admiration of the one year of sobriety achieved so well done sct!

Everyone has to be different in recovery as everyone is different in every other aspect of life so defo what is good for the goose will not be good for the gander in most cases. If for some mad reason i drink again and could remain with a pattern of 1 day on and 10 weeks off i would take that over drinking everyday anytime and maybe, who knows, I would find a way to elongate the periods inbetween over time.

I think we are all doing so well to come here and share whatever we think and however 'well' (or not) we are doing

sct

(this is why I preface things that might rub people the wrong way with a caveat or a warning...)

I will also say that... very few things I say or original. The only thing original I have is my story, everything else I've heard in meetings, and from other addicts. My statement about relapse, is something I heard from a speaker with 15 years clean, who got clean when he was my age. It's something that rang true to me, and spoke to me. If it rubs you the wrong way... keep coming back :}