JustJohn

Answer: Nothing!

I remember those struggles over the years trying unsuccessfully to quit drinking. (I managed almost 4 years at one time, and decided regretfully, to drink again)

My big trigger's were going hunting with buddies and the inevitable pass-the-bottle at camp in the evenings, and basically any gathering with them because I associated alcohol with them. They didn't pressure me during my bouts of sobriety, but when I inevitably jumped off the wagon, they were happy. One buddy I recall saying joyfully -"John's come home"- to boisterous laughter and back-slapping from everyone. Eventually I moved away, and discovered my real motivation was getting drunk, not so much the social aspect of it. Once I really decided I was done drinking, I lost the desire to go sit in the woods, in the cold, waiting for a deer to pass me so I could kill it, gut it, and drag it back to camp to celebrate my success with whiskey and beer with my comrades. If you ever discover you do not enjoy a particular activity sober, then you know your true motivation was the booze, and the only thing you are truly giving up is the booze. I remember going to an AA meeting once and confiding in some folks there about hunting & drinking. One guy suggested that I join one of the non-drinking hunting clubs. Well, that did not appeal to me at all, and that was the beginning of my understanding that I was using that activity as an excuse to drink, and not a by-product of an activity I actually enjoyed.

Other activities, like enjoying a week or two on Sanibel Island, or hiking in a state park or national park and soaking up natures beauty and energy, I totally enjoy sober, and find that alcohol actually dulls the moment. That is where I was able to make the distinction between my true motivations.

As to friends and drinking, the same test applies. If you cannot fully enjoy them sober, or they cannot enjoy you therein lies your motivation and the answer to the question.

My story may have nothing at all to do with your situation, but it reminded me of what I went through. No matter what, you do what is right for you.

Sorry for the verbose post, but the memories just came flooding back when I read your post.

coffeenut

John, thanks for your post. Wow.

James13

Wow, TSH. I can relate to your situation so much.

I didn't want to tell a good friend of mine on Christmas that I don't get high anymore. It was tough. I have noticed that some friends accept it, and some friends are like "you don't have a problem". It's a mixed bag for me. This friend I am talking about thought he knew everything about me apparently, because he spoke like he did and assumed everything. I had to work through some resentment on that one.

Now comes a tough part for me, seeing which friends are true friends for who I am, or "friends" just because we got high together.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

TryingSoHard

Thanks, y'all. And John, that was a great post. I appreciate it very much.

Well, I've only told ONE of the two girls so far - the one that I'm truly *close* to. And it was kinda funny. I wrote to her and said, "Just so you know, I don't drink anymore. So, I won't be doing any of the getting drunk this time." And her entire response was, "No problem at all babe! You know I'm not a big drinker either. Love you!"

LOL - um - that's it?! No third degree? And what's this about her not being a big drinker either? That implies I wasn't a big drinker! LOL Oh, the sickness of an addicted mind...

But, I haven't said anything to the other girl yet, and I am actually going to be with her first. I am staying at her house Thursday night and Friday night, and then Saturday morning we're meeting up with the girl from the above email. I shouldn't stress over it or worry about it, I know. I should just know that if and when we go out to eat I'll just order a diet coke and that will be that.

On a side note, Buffalo apparently got about 1,726 inches of snow overnight! LOL LOL I hope my plane can land safely in all that nonsense!!!

TryingSoHard

LOL - maybe it's not the sickness of an addicted mind, maybe MY mind is just sick. I just had this thought:

I'm tired of saying "this girl" and "the other girl" so I was going to post and use their intials, T and A. Then I thought how funny it would be if I was talking about being around T&A for 3 days.

ROFL

(If you don't get it, count your blessings - you're not a perv like me!)

Lenina

TSH,

"T and A", that's hilarious to me! Thanks again for the laugh this morning!

When I first quit drinking, I was shocked at how many people didn't think it was a big deal. I was really surprised by how little (compared to me) others drank. And I was so grateful so many folks didn't care if I wasn't drinking!

Have a great trip and do let us know how much fun you have with good ole "T and A"!

Love,

Lenina

James13

I hope you and T&A have a safe, relaxing and fun trip.

lol.

TryingSoHard

3 days of me, T & A! w000000t!

LOL

IO Storm

lol