meesh

Finally went to my first AA meeting after years of denial by myself and friends who tell me I don't have a problem that I just need to cut down on my drinking. The blackouts come unexpectantly and with a lot of remorse, regret and guilt. Changing my drinking habits doesn't help and I never know when I start drinking if I will end up forgetting anything that happens. I'm tired of it. I just spent a whole evening with my sister ( I think) and don't remember anything past the first 5 minutes. Too humiliated to call her either. I have dinner plans all weekend and I don't want to go because I am afraid to drink and afraid to tell people that I don't want to drink for fear that they will call me an alcoholic, which I am. The stigma is just too much.....

finallyclean08

Yay meesh your first AA meeting. Congratulations!

You can do it with the help and support of others. At least you are admitting that you have a problem. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, or what you have to tell them. And at this point if you feel that you might have to have a drink then don't go to dinner. Maybe your not ready for that right now? You need to take care of you.

Big hugs!

CarolD

To protect my fragile early sobriety...I did have to stay away
from situations where alcohol was being served.
Even if I didn't drink...it made me yearn to..

Our AA group is doing extra meetings and a party
for the New Year I'm sure you can find a group
in your area to hang out with ...

Keep in focus...you can win over alcohol!

ExNavyInHouston

My issues were Blackouts and Remorse as well. That remorse was turning into intense loathing and disappointment.

Do not undervalue this monumental admission you have made. Your acceptance of your current reality is the greatest gift you can give yourself this holiday.

Hope you follow through and find the joy many of us have in knowing we are doing this for ourselves so that we can fully enjoy this ride.

Anna

I think alcoholism is full of guilt and shame. It can become an endless cycle.

I am so glad that you are taking steps to take care of yourself.

Like Carol, I had to be very careful in early sobriety. I had to stay away from any place where alcohol was being served. It was way too stressful.

inoishudbdead

Wow, you sound exactly like me! But, from what i've noticed is that most people when you tell them that you don't drink anymore are completely ok with it. Either they don't care, or they already knew you had a problem and realized why you stopped. I've actually only had 1 or 2 people kinda give me a hard time about it when i told them i quit.

All that i said to them was that it's a personal choice and walked away and i never heard anymore about it from them. Really don't worry about telling people you don't drink because a lot of people have a member of their family and/or friends who don't drink, or shouldn't and they understand more than you think.