how long is a piece of string?
~miss nikky~
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: windsor gardens, south australia, australia
Posts: 1,984
how long is a piece of string?
okay so here i am...
did the rehab thing, doing meetings once a day & at a minimun 5times a week.
heres the situation..
evry day used to be taken up with the finding of drugs, the getting of drugs, the using of drugs an the coming down off of drugs, now i have this really big hole in my life that needs to be filled.
I am aware of many ways i can do this an none of m are healthy.
any suggestions outside of what im already doin would be appreciated cos i cant see myself being able to do this for much longer unless i can get some time fillers into my days.
considering please that
1. i have no car
2. i have an expenditure for me of maybe 30bux a week & no more
3. i alreday doin meetings
4. i dont have a friendship network in a physical sense yet as it takes time to rebuild support networks in the rooms & i am aware friendships will develop there in time
(im in a NOW moment though)
5. my last kid starts school in 3weeks which will see me with loads more time to kill
6. i dont have the faintest clue really what i like or even what i'd like to do for fun anymore
&. im getting quite depressed over this an want to rectify it as depression is not a place i choose to be anymore
9. i dont know how to go about meeting new people to make friends
10. I AM FEELING REALLY DESPERATE an already once this weekend placed myself into an old people situation out of loneliness, i was lucky it made me so physically ill an spiritual disgusted that i chose to leave, this is what loneliness does to me though, i start looking to what i know, all ive known.
please help me to understand how long the empty feeling remains an how i can help myself here
i dont want to go backwards
i cant keep going like this though.
love nikky
xxoo
did the rehab thing, doing meetings once a day & at a minimun 5times a week.
heres the situation..
evry day used to be taken up with the finding of drugs, the getting of drugs, the using of drugs an the coming down off of drugs, now i have this really big hole in my life that needs to be filled.
I am aware of many ways i can do this an none of m are healthy.
any suggestions outside of what im already doin would be appreciated cos i cant see myself being able to do this for much longer unless i can get some time fillers into my days.
considering please that
1. i have no car
2. i have an expenditure for me of maybe 30bux a week & no more
3. i alreday doin meetings
4. i dont have a friendship network in a physical sense yet as it takes time to rebuild support networks in the rooms & i am aware friendships will develop there in time
(im in a NOW moment though)
5. my last kid starts school in 3weeks which will see me with loads more time to kill
6. i dont have the faintest clue really what i like or even what i'd like to do for fun anymore
&. im getting quite depressed over this an want to rectify it as depression is not a place i choose to be anymore
9. i dont know how to go about meeting new people to make friends
10. I AM FEELING REALLY DESPERATE an already once this weekend placed myself into an old people situation out of loneliness, i was lucky it made me so physically ill an spiritual disgusted that i chose to leave, this is what loneliness does to me though, i start looking to what i know, all ive known.
please help me to understand how long the empty feeling remains an how i can help myself here
i dont want to go backwards
i cant keep going like this though.
love nikky
xxoo
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
It's early days yet Nix. Don't freak out too much - just do today what you did yesterday and say no to anyone or anything that tempts you - 'I will not use today'.
Apart from that - there's lot of things to do that don't cost any money Nikky - posting here's always a good one, or walks, gardening - or some other non-expensive hobby...even the crappy stuff like housekeeping can be made to work for ya...the list is limited only by your imagination really.
Have you thought of a part time job? or volunteer work?
Do anything but give in, ok?
D
Apart from that - there's lot of things to do that don't cost any money Nikky - posting here's always a good one, or walks, gardening - or some other non-expensive hobby...even the crappy stuff like housekeeping can be made to work for ya...the list is limited only by your imagination really.
Have you thought of a part time job? or volunteer work?
Do anything but give in, ok?
D
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Hang in there... I'm with you on a lot of that. Alcohol took up a LOT of my time. I can be sober, but I don't know how to live the life of sobriety *yet*.
I think it just takes time. If you're anything like me, you probably don't even know yourself well enough to know what to even try (thats what I'm finding in myself), so I'm just trying different things. I did find that I do not have the patience for knitting or cross stitch, but I did find that I really like computer games (some), which is NOT like me lol.. lil things like that. Try writing a poem, drawing, walking, heck jog a little. Who knows who you'll find inside of you once you expose her to new things she might reallly like and have wanted to try for a long time
I think it just takes time. If you're anything like me, you probably don't even know yourself well enough to know what to even try (thats what I'm finding in myself), so I'm just trying different things. I did find that I do not have the patience for knitting or cross stitch, but I did find that I really like computer games (some), which is NOT like me lol.. lil things like that. Try writing a poem, drawing, walking, heck jog a little. Who knows who you'll find inside of you once you expose her to new things she might reallly like and have wanted to try for a long time
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
I like what Dee and flutter have said. Have you looked into some kind of part time job or volunteering? Giving back is a great way to feel better about yourself.
And take it easy on yourself. This is gonna take some time. And, if you do it right...a lotta time!
And take it easy on yourself. This is gonna take some time. And, if you do it right...a lotta time!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Glitzville
Posts: 334
Hey Miss Nikks,
Let me just say that I am wowed that you posted what you did. That took some real honesty and courage...I would never think to reach out like that. You're working an awesome recovery so far, and by doing just what you've done, looking for the new instead of the old, the right answers and situations are going to come to you.
Trust that. And keep doing the right thing.
Here's to 2009!
:bbh:
Love to you,
Donna
Let me just say that I am wowed that you posted what you did. That took some real honesty and courage...I would never think to reach out like that. You're working an awesome recovery so far, and by doing just what you've done, looking for the new instead of the old, the right answers and situations are going to come to you.
Trust that. And keep doing the right thing.
Here's to 2009!
:bbh:
Love to you,
Donna
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I have found myself reorganizing things. Like dresser drawers...cubbards..photos..closets..Just going through old things and looking at them. I also have tried doin some little crafts I use to do alot. I write letters to people I havent written in awhile. I go on youtube and just watch funny vids soemtimes. I also like games..Video or PC games.
I will start to think of random things and looking them up on the internet.
As far as getting lonely..I like being alone..so I dont have anything to offer there. Plus theres always kids at my house to keep me busy when I am not working.
Or if I do get lomnely I will walk up to mu aunts or cousins house.
Basicly..think of things you liked to do before addiction. Thats what I ahve been doing. It doesnt always work..But it does take up soem time to try it out and find that out.
Your doing really good. Just keep trying and looking for new things to do.
Most of the things I enjoy usually dont cost a thing.
I will start to think of random things and looking them up on the internet.
As far as getting lonely..I like being alone..so I dont have anything to offer there. Plus theres always kids at my house to keep me busy when I am not working.
Or if I do get lomnely I will walk up to mu aunts or cousins house.
Basicly..think of things you liked to do before addiction. Thats what I ahve been doing. It doesnt always work..But it does take up soem time to try it out and find that out.
Your doing really good. Just keep trying and looking for new things to do.
Most of the things I enjoy usually dont cost a thing.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
For me, meetings, SR, journaling, reading, and fitness filled that initial void. Please be patient with yourself. It took me a few months before I felt at home in the meeting rooms and comfortable enough to start developing friendships. It will happen for you I am certain.
I also found that as I worked through the steps (with a sponsor), I developed a new appreciation for life and what I have been blessed with. I have been growing spiritually and I never feel alone. For me, there is nothing better in life than helping another person - be it my children, another alcoholic, or even a stranger. We all have that gift - to lend a hand, to share our strength.
My best wishes.
I also found that as I worked through the steps (with a sponsor), I developed a new appreciation for life and what I have been blessed with. I have been growing spiritually and I never feel alone. For me, there is nothing better in life than helping another person - be it my children, another alcoholic, or even a stranger. We all have that gift - to lend a hand, to share our strength.
My best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Hi Nikky,
It took me a long time of just showing up every day at meetings to begin to develop anything like a friend network. But I kept going. I had to battle, and still do, the feeling that I don't fit in.
Keep showing up and take some of the suggestions others have made. I went back to school and it seems like I'll never finish, but I love it. I'm supposed to be studying now, but this is more fun. I've gotten a bachelor's degree, masters degree and am now working on my doctorate - all in sobriety and after the age of 36. We drunks/addicts can do good things.
Hang in there and know you'll be ok.
Mike
It took me a long time of just showing up every day at meetings to begin to develop anything like a friend network. But I kept going. I had to battle, and still do, the feeling that I don't fit in.
Keep showing up and take some of the suggestions others have made. I went back to school and it seems like I'll never finish, but I love it. I'm supposed to be studying now, but this is more fun. I've gotten a bachelor's degree, masters degree and am now working on my doctorate - all in sobriety and after the age of 36. We drunks/addicts can do good things.
Hang in there and know you'll be ok.
Mike
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hi Nikky!
Lots of great ideas and support already posted here. You'll find your way, I'm sure!
The internet is like your own private classroom. I taught myself to bake bread, to make soap and gardening tips all from the internet.
Some days, let yourself play hooky and go to the swimming hole, get a tan ( I mean get some vitamin D), catch some fish for dinner and be a kid!
You are doing great!
Lots of great ideas and support already posted here. You'll find your way, I'm sure!
The internet is like your own private classroom. I taught myself to bake bread, to make soap and gardening tips all from the internet.
Some days, let yourself play hooky and go to the swimming hole, get a tan ( I mean get some vitamin D), catch some fish for dinner and be a kid!
You are doing great!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Dear Nikky, I have no suggestions other than what's already been said. I love ya, girlfriend, and I know you can get thru this and stay clean.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
:ghug3
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
:ghug3
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