sad tonight part two
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 27
sad tonight part two
Hi All,
Well I'm happy my holiday is coming to an end. This was a tuff one but I made it. So i can proudly say i am still 23 months sober. I still have problems with my wife and not going to an alonon meeting but I guess those are the breaks.Someone even offered her to come to a couples meeting and she turned it down. I may be alone at home and that depresses me but i know i have sr and aa and that is all that matters right now.So i want to say thank you to all of you for being here for me.this is a great community.happy holidays to all.
Well I'm happy my holiday is coming to an end. This was a tuff one but I made it. So i can proudly say i am still 23 months sober. I still have problems with my wife and not going to an alonon meeting but I guess those are the breaks.Someone even offered her to come to a couples meeting and she turned it down. I may be alone at home and that depresses me but i know i have sr and aa and that is all that matters right now.So i want to say thank you to all of you for being here for me.this is a great community.happy holidays to all.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hey
Congratulations on the 23 months! I am about 3.5 months. This was my first clean and sober holiday season since I was about 12 years old, and I'm 51 now. With that, and all that's happened in those 3-4 months, this was a real difficult holiday season for me. Thankfully NYE never meant a whole lot to me, so I just need to find something so my wife and I aren't just staring at the four walls.
My wife won't be going to al-anon. I don't think she thinks she needs to. I don't know whether that is true or not. I do know that if I resent it I feel lousy and it's not good for my recovery. All I can do is try to do the next right thing.
Glad you made it!
Mark
Congratulations on the 23 months! I am about 3.5 months. This was my first clean and sober holiday season since I was about 12 years old, and I'm 51 now. With that, and all that's happened in those 3-4 months, this was a real difficult holiday season for me. Thankfully NYE never meant a whole lot to me, so I just need to find something so my wife and I aren't just staring at the four walls.
My wife won't be going to al-anon. I don't think she thinks she needs to. I don't know whether that is true or not. I do know that if I resent it I feel lousy and it's not good for my recovery. All I can do is try to do the next right thing.
Glad you made it!
Mark
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Congrats on 23 months! Glad you got thru the holidays ok. I'm sorry you seem to be all alone in your recovery, but just keep doing the next right thing. Live one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hi Arthur,
I'm glad you're still sober and coming to SR. I know it is tough being in a committed relationship and feeling alone. You are doing great maintaining your sobriety through that.
SR is a wonderful place! I'm glad you are here and sharing. You've got all of us addicts to keep you company. We're not perfect, but we understand!
Keep on keeping on!
I'm glad you're still sober and coming to SR. I know it is tough being in a committed relationship and feeling alone. You are doing great maintaining your sobriety through that.
SR is a wonderful place! I'm glad you are here and sharing. You've got all of us addicts to keep you company. We're not perfect, but we understand!
Keep on keeping on!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Hi Arthur - WOW - 23 months is awesome!! You'll be a year in no time!
I too am sorry about the lack of support from your wife, but I am grateful you find support here and through AA. It must be working because you wouldn't have 23 months otherwise.
The holidays were tough for me too. I don't suspect New Years Eve will be bad because we won't have alcohol in the house and for that I'm grateful.
I too am sorry about the lack of support from your wife, but I am grateful you find support here and through AA. It must be working because you wouldn't have 23 months otherwise.
The holidays were tough for me too. I don't suspect New Years Eve will be bad because we won't have alcohol in the house and for that I'm grateful. where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Hi Arthur,
There are times when I let the actions of my wife upset me but what really helps is to look at her many positive characteristics. We all have character defects but I do believe that people are basically good. I also compare my marriage today with what it was like when I was still drinking. We used to have the most horrible arguements on a weekly basis or she would not talk to me for days.
In the past year, I can count the number of arguements we had on one hand - really!
What I also find very helpful is gratitude. I remember waking up one morning and consciously looking at everything I had to be grateful for:
-Waking up in my own home, sober.
-Living in a nice town.
-A good cup of coffee and breakfast.
-Joking around with my wife.
-Taking my beautiful children to a good school in my truck, a nice ride in the country.
-Going to the gym and being physically able to exercise.
-Going to a job I enjoy.
-Laughing with my colleagues.
-etc.
I was overwhelmed by everything I have been blessed with!
Right now, everything is as it should be. On one hand, it is about growth - on the other hand it's about accepting and being grateful for where we are today. My life is far from perfect but it helps to step back and look at the big picture.
Keep at it! Those tough days do pass.
There are times when I let the actions of my wife upset me but what really helps is to look at her many positive characteristics. We all have character defects but I do believe that people are basically good. I also compare my marriage today with what it was like when I was still drinking. We used to have the most horrible arguements on a weekly basis or she would not talk to me for days.
In the past year, I can count the number of arguements we had on one hand - really!
What I also find very helpful is gratitude. I remember waking up one morning and consciously looking at everything I had to be grateful for:
-Waking up in my own home, sober.
-Living in a nice town.
-A good cup of coffee and breakfast.
-Joking around with my wife.
-Taking my beautiful children to a good school in my truck, a nice ride in the country.
-Going to the gym and being physically able to exercise.
-Going to a job I enjoy.
-Laughing with my colleagues.
-etc.
I was overwhelmed by everything I have been blessed with!
Right now, everything is as it should be. On one hand, it is about growth - on the other hand it's about accepting and being grateful for where we are today. My life is far from perfect but it helps to step back and look at the big picture.
Keep at it! Those tough days do pass.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
You made it through Christmas. You still have a wife. You have a program.
You came here..good for you.
Congrats..and you still have 23 months!
Hugs, A
Best wishes for the New Year..I hope it is better.
You came here..good for you.
Congrats..and you still have 23 months!
Hugs, A
Best wishes for the New Year..I hope it is better.
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