suffer

Hello, I am new here. I will briefly state my story and then get down to what I posted this thread for. I am a 29 year old female. I have been drinking HEAVILY since about 2003. I have lost my family, my kids, numerous jobs, and numerous significant others. It has been a HELL RIDE, as most of you know. Recently, I went with my boyfriend to LA for Thanksgiving, I had been sober for two weeks and just started a new job at a Mental Hospital/ Recovery Center. It turns out, even though I could have a glass of wine or two with dinner, and not experience anything, my boyfriend had just HAD IT. He started becoming so argumentative (over rather stupid S*&%) that it escalated into a full blown fight. Needless to say, the next day he left with a girl, and I hit the streets, went and got a Sparks, wandered around, talked witha homeless man for 45 mins, went and got another.....blah blah blah.

We agreed upon the stipulations of the breakup (we lived together) and agreed I would leave in a week. He took me to the airport, I went to the bar, missed my flight, because of being too intoxicated, (THIS is where it gets veeeery fuzzy) and I do not care to discuss the details of this part.

Now he dumped me at a friends house (who also drinks, and likes it when I do, for reasons I probably dont have to tell you)
All my junk tossed into boxes hastily. No way to get to work, none of my things, yadda yadda. Let's just say ITS HEAVY. Much too much for a girl that has been through it all.)

I have been essentially drinking since I got "home".......lots and lots.......

I have not touched it in three days. The turmoil I have experienced is incredible.

Now I am not seeking medical advice, but my hangovers are HUGELY medically related. I have done some research and have come to the conclusion that I have the symptoms of an alcoholic that has been drinking for 20 freakin years!

Shaking, like a leaf, so bad I cant sign my signature or hold a cup. Convulsing, hallucinating, nerves going berserk, thoughts that dont make sense, (which is hard for me because I am, or USED to be very intelligent)
hearing things, ears ringing, not being able to even close my eyes because of the specs and things.

Yes, I know, I need medical attention. I refuse because of increased anxeity, no insurance, and I have been through this before. It's totally assinine, I know.

I am totally scared out of my gourd. I have already been to rehab which cost my family 10 grand, got out after 6 weeks, and was drinking within a week.

My emotional turmoil causes this, I know, but THERE IS SO MUCH!

I have not drank for three days and the symptoms are still there, which is ultimately frustrating and disconcerting. I have alot of anger and depression also.

flutter

Congrats on the 3 days.. I do encourage you to seek medical intervention.

CarolD

I'm sorry you are having so many dangerous withdrawal symptoms.
Yes...an ER or a doctor is the wisest move.
I certainly hope you will reconsider.

Please read this link for information

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Welcome to SR..

michigangirl

Hang in there. I am only on Day 5, and have not had such a harsh withdrawals. there is a link re: the withdrawals. I have also heard that if you go to the ER they can not refuse you, with or without insurance.

Unfortunatley, I do not feel I can offer any good advice, but I am here thinking of you and sending you my support. this is a great website, and I find much comfort in just reading the posts.

Take Care of your self, pamper your self.

Horselover

Definitely take the medical advice and 3 days sober is big! You can do it and it sounds like your life would definitely improve if you do. Remember though life is still going to happen and some days we have bad days and some days we have good days, but there is no excuse to handle either of these days with a drink. The drink will make even good days bad and bad days worse. Welcome to SR!