choose2bhappy

I thought I was doing so well this weekend and all it took was a cruel remark from amember here to crush me. I spiraled right into feeling worthless a few minutes after reading grizzled's comment about feeling sorry for my baby.

I noticed he has a few years of sobriety and I have 21 days. I am as fragile as an eggshell right now and I really wish I never opened up about myself like I did.

tommyk

Sorry that one person here can bring you down like that.

Maybe focus on all of the people that lift you up instead?

(If 99 people in a room say they love me, and one person says they don't, guess which one (1) I tend to focus on? Dumb, huh?)

Bamboozle

Hello, choose2bhappy. You can always send a PM to one of the Forum Leaders if you are experiencing harassment.

I'm sorry you got such a lousy response...usually people at SR refrain from making such comments.

TryingSoHard

I agree with Bam. I'm sorry someone here made you feel bad - that's not what we're here for. Try to use the AA philosophy of "take what you need and leave the rest" right now. Let's focus on the positive and supportive. 21 days is great. Keep up the good work.

choose2bhappy

Ty

Aysha

Look at all the support you have gotten already. Dont let ONE person bring you down.
I didnt read your post that your talkign about. But this is not a place to put people down. And if some people feel the need to be cruel..Then thats their own Karma. He is only one person. There are way too many others here that dont and wont say mean things.
Theres ways to make a point without degrading soemone. And especially soemone with time under their belt should know better.
Just because soemone has alot of clean time doesnt mean they know it all.
And just because someone puts the drug or drink down doesnt mean jack if they dont change their thinking and behaviors.
Your only letting him hurt you more by dwelling on it.
Let it go. Your going to have to do alot of that in recovery.

choose2bhappy

you are right. ((((I am letting it go))))

Deep breath

Thank you. I mean that!

Anna

I'm glad you're feeling better now.

choose2bhappy

I took a little break and made supper for us and thought about it. I posted a lot of info in a fast manner in telling some of my story and opening up about a trigger....a lot of it did involve some stuff that people might say "wow I feel bad for the kid"...just because the inlaws are pretty dysfunctional and I kept getting sucked into the drama..and they also might say "she needs to forget those things and take responsibility for her own sobriety"

I am not sure but maybe that was the message. The grandmother has done a lot of messed up stuff to hurt me but "kids pay"..especially when mom decides to buy a bottle of wine over some catty remarks the grandmother makes.

I get it. I understand choices and consequences.
But does sharing a trigger mean I am not taking responsibility? I thought you were supposed to talk about what makes you want a drink. Feeling cold disdain from my inlaws after I did everything to get them to like and accept me is a trigger. Dredging all of it up as I sit alone is not healthy but I never should have posted it in such detailed raw form.

tommyk

Additionally - I have several people here on block because they are always so negative.

Block works well too.

chick3

Hi Happy,

I may be in the same boat as you tomorrow. My in-laws are coming for 6 days...I only have 12 days sober today. They drive me crazy! They are critical, opinionated and lazy...which means I will be doing most of the cleanup, cooking, etc...But, I will not let them get to me! I will get out and go for walks, go to meetings and come here!! Don't let people like that get to you...because, in most cases, it's their problem and not yours. Be strong and take care!

Mariposa18

I agree with the other posters. This site is wonderful and has a lot of good support and information. Don't let 1 rotten apple keep you away =)

I'm glad you are feeling better. Stay Strong and God Bless~

Horselover

In laws, please let's not start that one. LOL! I'm done with that for a bit. Sorry you had a bad experience, but don't let it discolor your opinion of SR. Most folks are kind and supportive and I bet you have already realized that though. Hugs.

Reminder

Hi Choose2happy:

It's very difficult to comment on a comment made by grizzled and I don't know what the comment was. If you were to post his comment and solicit feedback whether others thought it was inappropriate or not, that would be a different story. I hate to trash somebody's reputation as being an insensitive brute for saying something I have no knowledge of, and I don't think others should do so either unless they have knowledge of what you are talking about.

Peace.

Bamboozle

I did find the thread in question after stumbling upon this thread...and I did read the comment...then I posted here. I personally found the comment in question to be in poor taste.


How are you doing today, choose2behappy?

choose2bhappy

Hi everyone!

Thanks for so many king words. I am doing great. I went to spinning class and this morning was our mommy and me group. Very cool.

I do think yesterday might be a good lesson for me..even in "in person" meetings...share but be cautious...and the in laws are not the reason..I am the reason...they are just a small piece of a very big puzzle.

Clarity is good and reading all of your posts helps me see that this is a good good place

Thanks again. 22 Days and feeling good

Omega Man

I'm not sure what was posted or how it was intended but unfortunately any form of electronic communication does not always convey the senders true intention.

I've posted a few responses here that made me cringe after I submitted it. It have been tounge in cheek, it may have been sarcastic, I may have been laughing when I posted it but the true meaning was lost because these are only typed words and when read, they may be interpreted totally different than what I intended.

Anyway - I just wanted to throw that out there.

Try not let anyone thing or person upset the apple cart. Take what you need and leave the rest.