Newbie saying hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 63
Newbie saying hello
I wanted to share a little about myself as a newcomer. I am an alcoholic addict. I have 19 days clean and sober after a pretty bad relapse. Prior to that I nearly had three months.
I am pretty green I guess you could say.
I am basically a binge drinker. I can go for a month sober and then something will go wrong and I will go on one
of a bender. This usually riddles me with guilt and embarrassment. The older I get the worse the drunk. I black out. THe second half of my addiction and most dangerous is my desire for cocaine after a few drinks. It is powerful.
I go to AA and NA in my community and also therapy. I want very much a good peaceful and sober life. I am feeling much better, however my significant other (SO) continues to drink and party. We live together. He does it out of the house but comes home under the influence. He lies about having to work, etc, so that he can go drink and he thinks this is being kind to me. I become very angry and upset. This is what had lead to my last relapse...the contant disappointment and astonishment that he thinks I am wrong and he is right.
Anyway, I got sober..he didn't. I am clean and sober and reaching out to all forms of support. I tried to reach out to his family and see if they could influence him in some way but they said that he did not drink and that he was a hard worker and if I was nicer to him maybe he would come home more.
They put the funk in dysfunctional.
I am pretty green I guess you could say.
I am basically a binge drinker. I can go for a month sober and then something will go wrong and I will go on one
of a bender. This usually riddles me with guilt and embarrassment. The older I get the worse the drunk. I black out. THe second half of my addiction and most dangerous is my desire for cocaine after a few drinks. It is powerful. I go to AA and NA in my community and also therapy. I want very much a good peaceful and sober life. I am feeling much better, however my significant other (SO) continues to drink and party. We live together. He does it out of the house but comes home under the influence. He lies about having to work, etc, so that he can go drink and he thinks this is being kind to me. I become very angry and upset. This is what had lead to my last relapse...the contant disappointment and astonishment that he thinks I am wrong and he is right.
Anyway, I got sober..he didn't. I am clean and sober and reaching out to all forms of support. I tried to reach out to his family and see if they could influence him in some way but they said that he did not drink and that he was a hard worker and if I was nicer to him maybe he would come home more.
They put the funk in dysfunctional.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hi
I'm 96 days C&S (I think, close enough.) Had some relapse thinking this week. Kinda scary because I had the whole thing pre-justified. But I didn't. It was sort of out of some anxiety/resentment of my wife who has one drink every night. So I can really understand why you relapsed.
For me, I have to get over it. I've reached out here on SR, at AA, therapy. She doesn't go out drinking and lie about it, though, but there is some codependency sh*t goin' on. Fortunately, my wife and I had a good discussion today and I've received some good insight from my sponsor.... it will be better tonight.
I don't have to tell you, your sobriety shouldn't be wrapped up in your SO. I also know that it's easier said than done.. His parents, jeez... Hang in there, Way to go on the 19 days C&S....
Mark
I'm 96 days C&S (I think, close enough.) Had some relapse thinking this week. Kinda scary because I had the whole thing pre-justified. But I didn't. It was sort of out of some anxiety/resentment of my wife who has one drink every night. So I can really understand why you relapsed.
For me, I have to get over it. I've reached out here on SR, at AA, therapy. She doesn't go out drinking and lie about it, though, but there is some codependency sh*t goin' on. Fortunately, my wife and I had a good discussion today and I've received some good insight from my sponsor.... it will be better tonight.
I don't have to tell you, your sobriety shouldn't be wrapped up in your SO. I also know that it's easier said than done.. His parents, jeez... Hang in there, Way to go on the 19 days C&S....
Mark
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome, Choose2b - it's doubly hard with an SO who's still partying. I commend you for standing firm on what needs to be done. I think you'll find alot of wisdom and help here - many have similar situations. You're right, the older we get, the more that junk brings us to our knees. You never have to go back to that mess again, congratulations.
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