need help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 27
need help
hey guys,
im here alone in my hotel room and tonight is tough. although my wife has said she would go to therapy with me being away makes her think of how i used to be when i went away. i used to call her drunk and she knew it and i tried to hide it. so tonight when i got back to my room i called her and of course shethat just rehashes the past and doesnt move forward. i know it takes time and its only 23 months buy why wont she cut me some slack.im doing the right thing now and i know rome wasnt built in one day but it just hurts.i guess i cant believe that this is what our marrage has become.why did we drink why did we feel the need for that shot of scotch? how did i let it go this far and not see the destruction i was causing. i took something so good and destroyed it. i just feel bad tonight. im happy that im sober its just hard going through this sober.the pain is so real.anyhow thanks for letting me ramble i do feel great that i have people here that understand.:sorry
im here alone in my hotel room and tonight is tough. although my wife has said she would go to therapy with me being away makes her think of how i used to be when i went away. i used to call her drunk and she knew it and i tried to hide it. so tonight when i got back to my room i called her and of course shethat just rehashes the past and doesnt move forward. i know it takes time and its only 23 months buy why wont she cut me some slack.im doing the right thing now and i know rome wasnt built in one day but it just hurts.i guess i cant believe that this is what our marrage has become.why did we drink why did we feel the need for that shot of scotch? how did i let it go this far and not see the destruction i was causing. i took something so good and destroyed it. i just feel bad tonight. im happy that im sober its just hard going through this sober.the pain is so real.anyhow thanks for letting me ramble i do feel great that i have people here that understand.:sorry
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 117
The most important thing is that you're still sober! This is why just for today is so important... Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I know it's hard to realize that what happened in the past is in the past, but honestly, try to think about how great YOU feel... Your wife will come around. Try the therapy. It couldn't hurt.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
She is willing to go to therapy with you. That's good. I am guessing you are separated
because of your drinking and behaviors. It may be hard, but you might want to
cut the conversations short when they get to the attacking level. Politlely.
Therapy is a safe place to "hash out" issues. Not when you are alone and trying
to stay sober. The important thing is ..to stay sober. SR is a good place to
come home to. It is my second home.
And what about AA..have you tried it?
because of your drinking and behaviors. It may be hard, but you might want to
cut the conversations short when they get to the attacking level. Politlely.
Therapy is a safe place to "hash out" issues. Not when you are alone and trying
to stay sober. The important thing is ..to stay sober. SR is a good place to
come home to. It is my second home.
And what about AA..have you tried it?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Arthur,
You state that you are a member of AA - so I will ask: Have you made direct ammends to your wife? That 9th step works (of course there are 8 to do before 9 is even possible)...therapy may be a good idea - but I don't think one can expect the promises outlined at the ninth step without having gone through the entire process up to that point.
You state that you are a member of AA - so I will ask: Have you made direct ammends to your wife? That 9th step works (of course there are 8 to do before 9 is even possible)...therapy may be a good idea - but I don't think one can expect the promises outlined at the ninth step without having gone through the entire process up to that point.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
"hey guys, im here alone in my hotel room and tonight is tough. although my wife has said she would go to therapy with me being away makes her think of how i used to be when i went away. i used to call her drunk and she knew it and i tried to hide it. so tonight when i got back to my room i called her and of course she that just rehashes the past and doesnt move forward. i know it takes time and its only 23 months buy why wont she cut me some slack."
23 Months isn't an "only 23 months!" 23 months is awesome! She needs maybe to go to Alanon. Has she looked for one?
"im doing the right thing now and i know rome wasnt built in one day but it just hurts.i guess i cant believe that this is what our marrage has become.why did we drink why did we feel the need for that shot of scotch? how did i let it go this far and not see the destruction i was causing. i took something so good and destroyed it."
Note that all the words in bold and underline are past tense. Let's concentrate on today and tomorrow. That's the beauty of yesterday - its yesterday.
"i just feel bad tonight. im happy that im sober its just hard going through this sober.the pain is so real.anyhow thanks for letting me ramble i do feel great that i have people here that understand.:sorry"
It is hard to go through sober and the pain is real and thank God we can feel it and walk through it. Glad you visited SR last night instead of a bottle. We can do this together and again, congratulations on 23 months of sobriety!! Very inspiring and very commendable. Glad you are here.
23 Months isn't an "only 23 months!" 23 months is awesome! She needs maybe to go to Alanon. Has she looked for one?
"im doing the right thing now and i know rome wasnt built in one day but it just hurts.i guess i cant believe that this is what our marrage has become.why did we drink why did we feel the need for that shot of scotch? how did i let it go this far and not see the destruction i was causing. i took something so good and destroyed it."
Note that all the words in bold and underline are past tense. Let's concentrate on today and tomorrow. That's the beauty of yesterday - its yesterday.
"i just feel bad tonight. im happy that im sober its just hard going through this sober.the pain is so real.anyhow thanks for letting me ramble i do feel great that i have people here that understand.:sorry"
It is hard to go through sober and the pain is real and thank God we can feel it and walk through it. Glad you visited SR last night instead of a bottle. We can do this together and again, congratulations on 23 months of sobriety!! Very inspiring and very commendable. Glad you are here.
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