Luckyv2

I haven't really been posting much here but today I feel as if I need to update some of you that might be interested in what is going on with me.

I got sick again over two months ago and am once again in the healing process. I am healing slowly but surely which is a good thing.

I also have gotten back on my Anti-D's about a week ago. I don't like being on them but I hope that I am easier to be around when I am on them.

I have a little bit over a month clean I think. I did drink two shots of whiskey over a month ago and I stopped at that. I caught a buzz but when offered more I didn't want it. I didn't feel bad about doing it either and it did not set up a compulsion to drink more.

Now to the point of me posting.

My Sister as some of you know has been hospitalized since July with COPD, no kidneys, on dialysis, and cancer. she has been holding onto hope that she would get better. She also has a trake

Well now her voice is going and she has been on morphine here a lot lately. She can't even talk anymore.

Yesterday I get a call from her phone and it was my nephew. He said that his Mom was able to talk that day and wanted to talk to me. When she got on she said "Does it sound like me?" I said yes and she said LMAO is it live or is it memorex LOL something I say quite a bit.

She continued to talk to me and she said that she wanted to be able to tell who she cares for GOODBYE! I thought for a moment and I said that sometimes words don't have to be said. She said that it was important for her to be able to say goodbye to me. I am not sure when she will be leaving us. But she said that all she wanted was to have one last Christmas together.

I am not sure if I am going to make it up there for Christmas to see her. But it is just sad and yet I look at it like, Damn she won't have to suffer anymore. She hasn't been able to walk for over a month now if not more.

Well just wanted to say that and also.....

I would like to apologize to everyone here. Especially Carol

I will do my best to be a better person.

Thanks for allowing me to share.

Aysha

Glad you checked in Vic..
Sending prayers for you and your sister.
Take it easy and just keep doing the next right thing.
Big Hugs my friend.

CarolD

I appreciate the amend Vic. thank you.

Prayers for you and your sister going out.
:praying

Impurrfect

(((Vic)))

Thanks for checking in.

Hugs and prayers to you and your sister!

Amy

Ann

Hugs for you and my prayers for your sister, also. It's good you have had a chance to talk to her, the rest is in God's hands.

Hugs

AverageAmerican

I really don't know what to say. I don't know you but I can relate to the pain of losing someone very close to you. My prayers are with you and your family.

Hope

Good to see you Vic. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your sister.

Stay close, Vic. We're here for you.

Rella927

Vick How bless are you to be able to hear, share and laugh! Hold on and cherish that always-God will do the rest

Hang in there sweets many prayers being send to her and your family-

miss communicat

vIC

i'VE OFTEN WONDERED WHATS GOING ON WITH YOU. tHANKS FOR LETTING US IN. we care

nogard

(((((((((Vic)))))))))))) thinking of you and your sis.

Kevin

least

Glad you're back. Prayers for you and your sister and your whole family.:ghug3

kj0975

(((VIC))) I know how close you and your sister are. Shes always been your cheerleader and biggest supporter. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to someone we love and I hope she can hang on through x-mas but when its our time its our time. I pray she doesnt suffer and I pray that you stay strong through this sad time. (((HUGS)))

IO Storm

Chancey...

So good, so very good to hear from you..and so very sad to hear this news about

your sis. She (and you) have my prayers dear Chancey. Please stay clean and

sober..you know how, hun. Why don't you just hang out with us again..if you can?

Nuff preaching from me! I'm just glad you posted about this..you, too..one of

my first friends when I came here. I just miss you here, you know.

Prayers and hugs, hugs and prayers..and more of the same.

:praying:

Luckyv2

Thanks you all for your responses and I will try my best to keep coming back more than what I have been. I have taken some steps here lately to ease my load of things and once I have all of that done than I can assure, I will have a lot more time to move around and be able to do more postings.

One thing that I suffer from that a lot of us do is depression. I have also in the past been diagnosed with Bi-Polar. I have been in denial about that issue. I will take the medications that they assign to me and do somewhat OK and than I will take myself off of them thinking that I don't need them. The only problem that I have seen is that when I take myself off of them I end up relapsing which isn't a good thing. So I started back on them a little over a week ago but let me tell ya last night my head wasn't good.

My levels that the depression go into are unbearable. I just don't like being me most of the time. I know this will change, but I need to really do some foot work into it also.

So I come back to the place that has always accepted me!

I am here, going to do my best to remain clean and just do it!

Also if I am healthy enough I am going to try and get there to see my Sister for Christmas. The only issue that I have is the distance it is from the parking lot of my nephews place to his apartment door. There are 29 steps up that are just a killer for me. Than the walk from the parking lot to the apartment building door is a very long distance as well. So I will just have to wait and see how I am feeling when it is a little closer.

I went to the Doctor today, I have been since February when all of this happened, every week on Monday. My oxygen level is good, at 96% on 4ltrs and he told me I could try and cut back to three now and my steroids are now back to 30mg which is way cool. I have gained a lot of weight which I don't like either but am learning to accept that I probably won't ever get under that 200 lb mark that I would like to be. Heck 210 would be nice.

Well just wanted to say thanks and have a blessed day

IO Storm

Chancey..

Whenever you think of going off your bipolar meds...think of me, your friend.

That I will be taking my BP meds that very night at about 11:00 p.m. or so.

Each and every night...the side effects are tough in the beginning I know.

You just rest...try to not think...let your brain adjust.

Practice Rule 62. A lot. A whole lot. Pray and hand everything up.

You know.

It eventually gets better. Please follow your doctor's advice.

Love ya Chancey.

And thanks..I am having a blessed day.

IO Storm

Oh..and, P.S.

"Don't drink or use no matter what."