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Why did you drink?

Old 12-14-2008, 05:53 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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AA
the AA hhmmm moment hit me as well while I was in a chat room here and someone abreviated my name... must have been my sub-conscious.
was that you!

when i saw your name, i just had to... lol
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Old 12-14-2008, 07:46 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Cubile - (Mark) - The most important part of your post to me...

****Keep going in sobriety ! Keep coming back ! ****

I have kept coming back, particularly to this thread. I have found the support here to be amazing! Thank you.
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Old 12-15-2008, 04:38 AM
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Hey AverageAmerican

Yea, this site has been a real Godsend for me. This early sobriety has been way harder than I thought it was gonna be. I can be feeling great one day, or one hour, and the next, my legs get kicked out from under me.

Like Phaleron and you, I do some hunting. I like to go small game with my boys, now 14, 16, and 20. It's great to be out in the woods with them. I have gone deer hunting the last 6 or 7 seasons and really enjoy the hunt, the whole weekend... My oldest son bow hunts and I wish I had the time for that.

This year, with the 2 month rehab falling when it did, I haven't been hunting. My boys went a few times. I am also into lots of shame and guilt and am having a hard time getting outside of myself and doing the things I love. That will get better.

Mark
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Old 12-15-2008, 04:40 AM
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Phaleron

I love to ski. Haven't been yet. Our local mountain is open. I went to pick up my 16 yo yesterday (he instructs there) and started to get into the mood. Don't know if I'll get my western trip this year with all that's happened, but I hope to. If not, maybe Vermont.

It always gets me through the winter. I'll need it this year!!

Mark
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Old 12-16-2008, 09:23 PM
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Originally Posted by deerwalk View Post
Oh yes, and it gave me a reason to go out alone, as I spent most of my time alone and did not feel comfortable anywhere else and always nervous around people. People at bars are loosened up and social, I didn't have to try and be liked there... Drinking buddies were easy to make and I felt I had a home of sorts.
I was the same way. Boredom and the opportunity to be around people and socialize in an environment where people are relaxed, open and friendly.
Also because it was a nice and quicker substitute for eating because many times, making something to eat wasn't nearly as convenient as opening a bottle of wine while getting the same calories and carbs.
I didn't have to have an excuse to drink, I just drank to drink for any reason, especially if I was feeling especially good that day.
I also drank to give me the courage to do something; call a romantic prospect or express my feelings to someone (especially if I was upset at them) because in the back of my mind I had the "I was drunk" excuse to fall back on if it wasn't recieved too well. I drank to give me an excuse to do stupid things and I used doing stupid things as an excuse to drink.
As a writer, it was also a great lubricant to get the creative juices flowing and if guys like Charles Bukowski couldn't be one the best examples, alot people do their very best writing while drinking.

I'm really glad I found this board because it gives me the opportunity to write again. During previous bouts of sobriety, I always got a really bad case of writer's block. I couldn't even compose an email to save my life.
I'm really glad this board gives me an opportunity to express myself in writing without judgement and anonymously. I wish I found this board eons ago.
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