four812

hi all....I had 60 days on friday

so today is 61 (in progress)

I just dropped off my daughter and immediately had some thoughts of using. it's an overcast day here, some snow sitting on the ground, and it's sorta cold. so I start driving off by myself and I thought about it. about using. a few times. I thought about calling an AA person but decided to just head home and come on SR since I didn't make time to come on-line yesterday.

So here I am. I am not going to use. I'm simply going to keep going on. I'm am choosing sobriety today no matter what.

I do need to eat lunch, and then relax and maybe watch a movie or simply fall asleep for a bit.

i'll be alright. but it's weird. and i'm noticing that it's like i just want to throw in the towel. the _uck it's. It's like there's an underlying part of me that says that my life don't matter anyhjow so why not just go an short circuit my brain with some crack.

i'm not going to give those thoughts fuel, however. I will simply notice them if they come up again and i will not turn towards them and feed them and let them gain momentum.

thanks for listenling

Mariposa18

KSplash~ I'm glad you are here and staying sober. I understand the *uck it feeling, but like you I will not give in. 61 days is fantastic, keep stringing those days along.

Lunch and a movie sound like my plans for today. I remember Carol's HALT everytime I feel badly. Don't let yourself get overly Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Eat, relax, take time to yourself. If you feel antsy, come here, read, post.

You can and will do this~ Stay Strong Friend =)

four812

thank you mariposa. i need to hear some kindness before i got offline. thank you so much.

Mariposa18

Anytime =) God Bless~

Impurrfect

((Ksplash))

Congratulations!!!

At over 21 months clean from crack, I still have days where I just want to say *uck it, but it never lasts long, and I don't give in. Also, the more time I have in recovery, the rarer those days get.

On those days, I tend to hang around SR a bit more

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

CarolD

Impressive progress....

least

60 days is fantastic!! I'm impressed and also glad you came here and shared about your 'using' thoughts. I'm so glad you didn't give in. I've had a few cravings for alcohol lately and I also didn't give in. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!

Big congrats on 60 days! I'm proud of you!:ghug3

Aysha

You really made my day.

It really helps me to see someone succeed and fight off the demons.

And most of all...Want to.

Keep doing what your doing. And just dont act on those thoughts.

You are doing so good.

Thanks for making my day a little better.

four812

I ended up having a nice lunch and then goingto the movies and seeing the new james bond movie. I'm feeling comfortable and staying on the right path.

each time i have an urge and move through the urge it seems that i get just a little bit stronger, a little bit better at dealing with the urge in a positive way instead of reacting my way back to the addiction.

thanks SR

doorknob

Rock on!

TryingSoHard

ksplash, you are doing such a wonderful job. I am humbled every time I read one of your posts. Be proud of yourself for recognizing and working through your urges, and for all of the clean time you have under your belt now. You're doing a world of good for yourself and for your daughter.

Blessings to you both.

monkey1

Congratulations on 60+ days!

scaredykat

Congratulations ksplash on your 60 days!!

Your doing great. I still remember those early days of wanting to give in. Just one day at a time. Or even a minute if you have too.

four812

thanks again for your support my SR recovery friends

it's early sunday morning for me right now...i'm going to go to an 8AM meeting and start the day off with a strong push in recovery. I'm going to try to eat healthy. I am going to try and make conscious selections of how i spend my time today. this can be a great day. right now it feels peaceful and loving.

good luck to you in your recovery today

lostbutterfly

Ksplash - you're the Daddy!!! I hope to follow in your footsteps, because I know how hard this was for you a couple of months ago.

stone

Good job Ksplash.

Mark75

You are not alone kplash... I know those feelings, driving off alone, cold grey day, urges...

Awesome on the 60 days, even more awesome on your clarity of mind and being honest with and aware yourself. You did the next right thing!!



Mark

Pelican

Congratulations on 62 days!

:ghug3

I'm so happy for you and I am glad you are a member of the SR family!

Rella927

Awesome on the 60 days (62 now?)

Courage2BMe

hang in there! We are faced with the temptation to use again, this often emerges in times of stress, boredom, or depression. Stay focused and busy and the urge will past. You should be very proud of your accomplishment, dont let the substance trivialize that. If it suceeds and you use then what, it wont get better! It would just be another long road back to attempted sobriety, dont let it fool you! Keep up the Great work !!!