Just introducing myself.
On the road of happy destiny
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: OHIO
Posts: 210
Just introducing myself.
I'm a 29 year old single mom with an amazing 2 year old daughter. I'm in the middle of divorcing my high school sweetheart. It's probably the most amicable divorce in history... we both made a lot of mistakes (mine related to alcoholism, his related to repeated infidelity, and who knows if it was alcoholism or infidelity that was the chicken or the egg) but we're on good terms now and we co-parent well. We've been separated and living apart since February. He has our daughter 2 or 3 nights a week and it got to the point that I was basically just holed up in my house drinking until the point where I passed out every one of those nights.
I guess I'd qualify as a "high bottom drunk": I still have a good job, I never drank when I was alone with my daughter (because I knew if I had one drink, I'd need at least 10 more), I never ended up in legal trouble, etc. But I also know that beyond a doubt, I'm an alcoholic. I can't have just one or two drinks -- once I have one, I want ALL of them. Or if I am in a situation (work function, etc) where I can only have one drink, I spend the whole time thinking about when I can have more, more, more, more... can I sneak away and get some? Drink when I get home? It's all encompassing.
I've been sober for just over three weeks now -- since 11/20. I've been to 2 AA meetings. It's tricky because I can't bring a two year old with me and I'm shy anyway, but I'm trying not to make excuses. I liked the group that met on Mondays better than the one on Tuesdays, so I'm going to go back to the Monday meeting this week. And I've been reading everything I can get my hands on about AA, The Steps, etc.
I don't think I have a physical addiction because it's been physically easy to do this so far. But I know that there is definitely a psychological addition though. Even just typing out sneaking away to drink "awakens the beast" and makes me think about it. And it's only 11:00 AM! And I don't want to do that anymore! It just defies reason though.
So anyway... that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for having me.
I guess I'd qualify as a "high bottom drunk": I still have a good job, I never drank when I was alone with my daughter (because I knew if I had one drink, I'd need at least 10 more), I never ended up in legal trouble, etc. But I also know that beyond a doubt, I'm an alcoholic. I can't have just one or two drinks -- once I have one, I want ALL of them. Or if I am in a situation (work function, etc) where I can only have one drink, I spend the whole time thinking about when I can have more, more, more, more... can I sneak away and get some? Drink when I get home? It's all encompassing.
I've been sober for just over three weeks now -- since 11/20. I've been to 2 AA meetings. It's tricky because I can't bring a two year old with me and I'm shy anyway, but I'm trying not to make excuses. I liked the group that met on Mondays better than the one on Tuesdays, so I'm going to go back to the Monday meeting this week. And I've been reading everything I can get my hands on about AA, The Steps, etc.
I don't think I have a physical addiction because it's been physically easy to do this so far. But I know that there is definitely a psychological addition though. Even just typing out sneaking away to drink "awakens the beast" and makes me think about it. And it's only 11:00 AM! And I don't want to do that anymore! It just defies reason though.
So anyway... that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for having me.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
Thanks for sharing your story StrongBird, I hope you'll try some more AA meetings and put together a plan for your recovery, these forums can be a wonderful addition.
I also entered AA as a single parent, my kids are a little older and they attend meetings with me every week. Recovery has given us a life together that's nothing short of a miracle. I hope your life is just as blessed, keep putting those clean and sober days together.
Glad you're here!
I also entered AA as a single parent, my kids are a little older and they attend meetings with me every week. Recovery has given us a life together that's nothing short of a miracle. I hope your life is just as blessed, keep putting those clean and sober days together.
Glad you're here!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
It does defy reason, Strongbird. I kept going long after I was 29, even when deep inside I knew I was headed for disaster if I didn't quit. Instead, I spent over 25 yrs. trying to moderate with terrible and frightening results. You'll never have to do that, and your daughter will never look at you with disappointment and disgust the way my son once did. Congratulations on your decision.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Welcome to SR Strongbird and thanks for giving us some background. Congratulations on being sober since November 20th! That's great! You made it through Thanksgiving and all. I hope you stick around here and we get to know you better. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi and welcome,
I identified strongly with your intro. I entered recovery as a single mom, too. I was 33. I, too, drank whenever the girls were with their Dad. I did drink when they were home, but I told myself it wasn't so bad because I waited until they went to bed.
Here is a link to excerpts from a book called Under the Influence. Both this and it's follow-up, Beyond the Influence, have a lot of information that you may find helpful. I ordered them both through my library when I couldn't find them at bookstores. It didn't cost anything this way and other alkies can borrow them too now!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Stick around, and continue to read and post. There are also chat meetings held nightly - you will find the schedule in our forums under 'Chat'. Tonight's meeting is at 9 pm EST.
I identified strongly with your intro. I entered recovery as a single mom, too. I was 33. I, too, drank whenever the girls were with their Dad. I did drink when they were home, but I told myself it wasn't so bad because I waited until they went to bed.
Here is a link to excerpts from a book called Under the Influence. Both this and it's follow-up, Beyond the Influence, have a lot of information that you may find helpful. I ordered them both through my library when I couldn't find them at bookstores. It didn't cost anything this way and other alkies can borrow them too now!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Stick around, and continue to read and post. There are also chat meetings held nightly - you will find the schedule in our forums under 'Chat'. Tonight's meeting is at 9 pm EST.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 43
Hi Strongbird,
I can totally relate to your story. I too have a great job, husband, 3 daughters, but can't stop drinking when I start and never had any physical withdrawal symptoms. I am trying to take it one day at a time now for myself and my family. Thanks for sharing.
I can totally relate to your story. I too have a great job, husband, 3 daughters, but can't stop drinking when I start and never had any physical withdrawal symptoms. I am trying to take it one day at a time now for myself and my family. Thanks for sharing.
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