New Comer Binge Drinker
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: London
Posts: 3
New Comer Binge Drinker
Hi All,
I'm a newcomer here but have been trying to tackle my alcohol abuse for nearly 10 years.
My problem is occassionally going on all-night binges. i recently managed five months without a binge but fell off the wagon on Thursday evening. I feel like all the progress I had made (initially with the help of a counsellor, but in these credit crunch times the cost was getting prohibitive).
I also did a month in September without drinking at all but slwoly in october and november got back into older habits until i finally let my guard down on Thursday and went on a binge.
I'm scared of total abstinence and really don't know what to do. This problem will cost me my marriage and even my "improvements" may not save that.
All suggestions and reasoning welcome.
I'm a newcomer here but have been trying to tackle my alcohol abuse for nearly 10 years.
My problem is occassionally going on all-night binges. i recently managed five months without a binge but fell off the wagon on Thursday evening. I feel like all the progress I had made (initially with the help of a counsellor, but in these credit crunch times the cost was getting prohibitive).
I also did a month in September without drinking at all but slwoly in october and november got back into older habits until i finally let my guard down on Thursday and went on a binge.
I'm scared of total abstinence and really don't know what to do. This problem will cost me my marriage and even my "improvements" may not save that.
All suggestions and reasoning welcome.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Hi and Welcome,
For me, trying to control my drinking, was exhausting and hopeless. It would never last and I would end up worse off than before. It was really a relief to just stop altogether.
I was also terrified of not drinking again. It's normal to feel afraid of stopping drinking, but I believe that it is our disease talking to us, not our logic. It took me a long time to come to terms with the idea. Thankfully, I did and I am on a journey of recovery.
For me, trying to control my drinking, was exhausting and hopeless. It would never last and I would end up worse off than before. It was really a relief to just stop altogether.
I was also terrified of not drinking again. It's normal to feel afraid of stopping drinking, but I believe that it is our disease talking to us, not our logic. It took me a long time to come to terms with the idea. Thankfully, I did and I am on a journey of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: PNW
Posts: 87
Welcome headhunter! Like you I have been trying to tackle my alcohol abuse for a long time now, I think I've known I had a problem for 15 years or so. I was and still am scared of total abstinence and desperately tried to avoid having to make that decision. But I have finally come to realize that I am never going to be able to control myself every time I drink. Sure sometimes it will go ok but every time I drank there was always a decent possibility that I would have one too many and once that happens I wouldn't be able to stop and would surely blackout and do something stupid.
I have been sober now for 12 days I think and it hasn't been that bad. My suggestion would be for you to read as much as you can here, there are a lot of people that have gone through what you are now. I would say you should quit now before things get even worse but only you can know for sure if that is what needs to be done.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do, hope you stick around here!
I have been sober now for 12 days I think and it hasn't been that bad. My suggestion would be for you to read as much as you can here, there are a lot of people that have gone through what you are now. I would say you should quit now before things get even worse but only you can know for sure if that is what needs to be done.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do, hope you stick around here!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
Welcome Headhunter! You've found a wonderful supportive site with lots of loving helpful members.
It isn't how much you drink, or how often, or what you drink: it's what happens to you when you drink. If you feel that alcohol is a real problem in your life then it may be a good idea to quit for a period of time - say, a month. If you find you cannot go without drinking, or find yourself thinking about drinking all the time, then you'll have your answer.
I was an all day every day wine drinker, at home alone. I knew I had a problem with alcohol and 'should' quit drinking when I couldn't moderate my alcohol intake.
I like living sober and wouldn't go back to drinking if you paid me to do it - too much pain and misery down there in that pit.
Read and post. Lots of forums and lots of perspectives on drinking/substance abuse. Again, welcome!
It isn't how much you drink, or how often, or what you drink: it's what happens to you when you drink. If you feel that alcohol is a real problem in your life then it may be a good idea to quit for a period of time - say, a month. If you find you cannot go without drinking, or find yourself thinking about drinking all the time, then you'll have your answer.
I was an all day every day wine drinker, at home alone. I knew I had a problem with alcohol and 'should' quit drinking when I couldn't moderate my alcohol intake.
I like living sober and wouldn't go back to drinking if you paid me to do it - too much pain and misery down there in that pit.
Read and post. Lots of forums and lots of perspectives on drinking/substance abuse. Again, welcome!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: London
Posts: 3
Thanks all for this.
Am off to my first AA meeting this evening just to see how it goes. I'd still really like to find a place where I can be helped/taught the self-discipline of "responsible drinking" although I will try to approach the AA meeting with an open mind to abstinence.
Paradoxically one of my worries re abstinence is whether my wife would really be supportive of it!!!
This whole situation is very messed up. The very least I do know is that it will require significant daily work not to let my guard down again after making so much progress...
Am off to my first AA meeting this evening just to see how it goes. I'd still really like to find a place where I can be helped/taught the self-discipline of "responsible drinking" although I will try to approach the AA meeting with an open mind to abstinence.
Paradoxically one of my worries re abstinence is whether my wife would really be supportive of it!!!
This whole situation is very messed up. The very least I do know is that it will require significant daily work not to let my guard down again after making so much progress...
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Kep coming back.
The statement: "I'm scared of total abstinence...", can be addressed in two ways.
1.) You could seek counseling to determine 'WHY'. Might work, might not.
2.) You could use the 'Just For Today' philosophy, where you don't plan for total abtsinence (scary thought), but simply abstinence today.
And remember - you are NOT alone with your problem.
The statement: "I'm scared of total abstinence...", can be addressed in two ways.
1.) You could seek counseling to determine 'WHY'. Might work, might not.
2.) You could use the 'Just For Today' philosophy, where you don't plan for total abtsinence (scary thought), but simply abstinence today.
And remember - you are NOT alone with your problem.
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