Tryingto

I am so so proud/happy that you got through day one, I was kind of relying on the fact that you could do it to, because yesterday was very hard for me in the evening but I didn't want to let the 'team' down.

Good luck for day 2, I know you can do it

findingkermit

Awwww, trying to, thankyou for being a journey buddy

Hey, we don't need to worry about letting each other down, all we have to know is that come what may we have encouraged each other in the best way that we can

I'm sorry you had a bad evening yesterday, but I know the feeling of not wanting to let the team down, when you asked me yesterday if we could stick together my first thought was... " what the hell if I mess up and let them down" "what effect will it have on their progress", and then I thought, I can only do my best, I won't do any less, and I can't do any more, neither can anyone else.

I hope you are having a better day today, I really do, and I'm here most of the day as it is only 1.00pm here, so a long way in the day to go yet.

I am trying to keep myself busy too, but I'm in a bit of a fluff, just flitting from one thing to 'tother as my concentration allows, and think of what I can do each time a negative thought hits.

Chip up, smile, and just enjoy the next minute, you are doing an awesome job!!!

sicilia1414

Hi all my buddies!!! I just got home from work, I missed you all! hehehe

Kermit, so glad to see you back! Just like you said, we will do what we did yesterday, and tomorrow and the next and the next. And before we know it, we will all have 30 days under our belts and be helping out the newbies!

I didn't sleep much either last night, woke up in the midding of the night COVERED in sweat. Work sucked, everyone aggravated the crap out of me.

but it's ok, I would rather be crabby and tired than drunk/hungover.

I plan on attempting another meeting tonight, gotta get ready and leave in about a half hour, i will let you all know how it goes.

findingkermit

Hiya Sicilia, great to hear from you today!!!!!

I hope you manage to be brave enough to go into the meeting today, and it turns out to be a wonderful experience for you, I will be thinking of you for sure

The.. "but it's ok, I would rather be crabby and tired than drunk/hungover".

I can totaly relate to, I was thinking exactly the same thing this morning, but I'm a bit chirpier this afternoon which is great.

I will still be on when the meeting will be finished, so I'm looking forward to hearing all about it :ghug2

sicilia1414

I hopee I am brave enough too! but it is sooo cold in chicago today, only about 10 degrees and all I want to do is cuddle up on my couch and stay online.

my friend told me about this meeting, her brother is in AA and he is running it tonight, so at least I will know someone. but i don't know what makes me more nervous....going to a meeting where i don't know anyone, or going to a meeting where i know someone and having to open up? both options suck!!!!!

findingkermit

I know what you mean, I don't know which would be more scarey for me either, all you can do is try.

It will most likely be a great experience, and you can cuddle up on your warm couch afterwards and feel so good about pushing yourself as far as you can, and if you manage to feel that you can go in, you may cuddle up & think about any wonderful gems you gleaned from the fellow journiers (is that even a word???)

All the best no matter which way it turns out, you are doing your best, so just feel great about that

sicilia1414

Ok I am off now!! i just fixed my hair and makeup, maybe i will meet a cute AA boy.

(is that wrong to think about that right now?) ~

wish me luck and i will be thinking about all of you!! i am so scared i feel like i want to puke!!!

Tryingto

hehe sicilia, you make me smile.

All the best, can't wait to hear about it from you!

sicilia1414

allllrighty I am back!!! should I be honest or should i lie??? I wish I could tell you all that it was a life changing experience but it wasn't.

findingkermit

awwwww lol, but did you go in????

sicilia1414

hahaha yes i went in this time. I got LOST and was about ten minutes late, but i still forced myself to go in.

it was HUGE!! a big church but they had everyone packed into this teeny tiny room in the basement. about 50 people!!!! and oh my goodness a lot of cute guys!! (why did i wear sweatpants!!)

to be honest, I didn't enjoy it. Maybe i was too nervous since it was my first time and I couldn't get into listening to everyone else's stories?? we had to split into groups and talk about our lives. It was SO SCARY. and i got put into a group with 6 men!! they were all very nice...but still. my heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty and i just wanted to run out.

and at the end they all stand in a circle and hold hands and say this prayer. i am not a touchy feely type of person so it made me uncomfortable.....

i dunno, i am not the type to hug and talk to people i don't know, so that was very hard for me. i don't think i will go back to this particular one, but i do plan on trying a few more meeting before i come to my final conclusion.

findingkermit

Whooohooooo

Well done you, what a ledgend, you did so well to go in, especially when you got there late, that is a real acheivement.

I don't know if I could do it this early on, I'm like you, I get anxiety and everything that goes with it. When I had to attend AA in rehab, I definately prefered the smaller more intimate groups.

And I don't get into all that touchy feely thing either, I'm not sure if there is away around that without seeming to be standoffish or rude, I never figured it out, so just went with the hand holding thing, I wished I didn't have to though.

It's not that I don't want to support the others there, it's just me.

See if you can find a smaller group, it might be just the right thing for you..... and don't wear trackies (jk)

Again, good one you 8

sicilia1414

Thank you, thank you! I am proud of myself for doing it. How are you doing today?? Are you still drinking lots of water? Is your appetite ok?

and i just noticed this smiley face....why do we have beer chugging smiley faces on a recovery website??? hahahah that doesn't seem right!


:beerchug:

findingkermit

lol, I thought they were drinking takeaway coffee

I am good today thankyou, a bit foggy headed, but way better than I have been on day 2 both times in detox, maybe because here I can get away from the thoughts of drinking because in there you are surrounded by it 24/7 so I get more anxious.

Yes I am drinking stacks, I'm onto about my 10 glass of water so far, plus a hot coffee and an ice coffee and a drink of milk.

My appetite is holding up, which is great as I would only eat a couple of small snacks every 2-3 days up until 5 days ago when I got more determined to take care of my body. It's a wee bit down today, but I've made myself remember to eat, and I haven't felt nauseous or anything.

How are you doing ????

Jules62

Hey Kermie,

Really proud of you-it was great to read this thread just now.I've been pretty busy but wanted to check in.

You're doing well.The first few days can be rough.I found keeping myself busy(my house had never been cleaner-lol) and making sure I drank a lot of water and ate as I could, helped.

You can do this.I'm glad you're using all the support here.SR is a great place for that

Have a good Friday night!

Julesxox

sicilia1414

I was VERY foggy headed all day today too...to the point that i almost went home from work because i could not concentrate. but i am actually happy that i am foggy headed and tired and not anxious and panicky.

i don't know how you guys deal with your children right now! i have two dogs and they are driving me NUTS!!!! i am just so crabby and irritated at everything, i could not imagine having to take care of kids right now.

you guys are amazing!

ok, i am going to attempt to go to bed, i probably won't be able to and will be back on here shortly....

we have another day almost done!! see?? this is easy.... we can do this!!! yay for us!

findingkermit

thankyou for checking and your kind words of support Jules :ghug3

I have been swinging between wanting to do stuff and just wanting to sit quietly, so just going with it, I did really enjoy getting dinner ready earlier on though, which was great, because for so long I have really resented having to cook, but did it because I am sooo blimmin fussy about keeping my family healthy. I even went as far as decorating the top of the smoked fish pie with the icing set hahaha.

And yes, I am so so glad I found SR too, it has been the catalist for change for me in a huge way, and everyone who has contributed to the site, has contributed to my last 2 days sober, thankyou all

Tryingto

Sicilia well done on going to the meeting.
I guess thats what I am scared of as well, not touchy feely and I don't want to talk about it (cept here, or with one on one counselor). Not a group.
Did you say anything, or just listen?

Jadmack25

Well done Kermit on day 2, and also Sicilia on staying all the way in an uncomfortable meeting. I admire so many here, all who have the courage to pick themselves up and keep trying, and especially those who take the plunge into going to AA. My abf is sober, sees a counsellor but won't go to AA as it "hasn't ever worked" for him before. Maybe it was him who didn't do the work, I don't know. Anyway you have my prayers and best wishes to your success in all you do.

God bless you all.

bumble2008123

nice job, kermit!!